Ian and helga go south !!

movan said:
I'm not producing it until I know if you really want to be a toy boy or you are just after my crutch .... which I won't need for much longer ... Yooo eeeeez wan norty EEengleesh man ... See .. us women on here can talk sexy Spanish too .. :)
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Joy. Now what on earth would I do with your crutch???? If you don't need it, then it's no good to me!!!! Lol
 
I used to have an English teacher called miss read!! Lol

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No that was her sister in law!! We only saw here when she gave us sweets!!
 
Only occasionally!! When she was with miss understood!! And her sister miss understand!!
 
But no one cared until miss taken came in the room!! Followed by miss lead. Leading miss representation , who told lies !!

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I think it's gonna be one of those days!!! I awoke this morning early as usual and felt OK,, I then proceeded to climb out of my drop down bed,( now in helga there is a wooden ladder that I use 2 rungs of to climb into bed,) I was in the sitting position and I swung my legs out over the ladder, I positioned myself on the edge of the bed ready to climb out (I usually only put one foot on the ladder and then I use the sofa for the hop down ) now as I leaned forward to descend the top of the ladder got wedged behind my testes!! Now as I put my full weight down onto the sofa I realised with a searing pain that I wasn't getting any lower!! Panic struck in and I started to think I was having my bits stamped on by a herd of wildebeest, luckily the ladder fell forward propelling my bits closely followed by me grimacing and yelping to about the kitchen area past the dining table where luckily I managed to touch the ground standing up whilst the ladder fell to the floor,, after a massage and a few choice words I was ok ! But that is something I will have to be aware of!!! Pulled my boxers and loose fitting jogging bottoms on together and leant foreward to make a brew( whilst thinking how lucky I am to have kept both testicles) ok tea made I got up from my swivel chair( opposite kettle) made a nice brew opened door to sit outside and have the breakfast of champions.( A fag and a cup of Yorkshire tea) as I leant my weight foreward to step down onto outside top step my left leading leg stopped moving foreward!! I thought I was paralysed from my earlier fall!! So as I leant my weight foreward to step down my legs stayed in the van and I was hanging onto the outside door dangling over the steps waving a now empty cup above my head trying not to let go of the door and smashing into the ground!!! I honestly thought that my testies had paralysed my legs! When I dragged my legs out of helga and down the steps I then realised that I had put both my legs into one hole in my boxers!! What a bloody start to the day!!!!
 
I'm afraid I won't be doing much for this week, I made another mistake this morning I am having a walk round Benidorm now and I bought the bike with me,, I'm pushing it everywhere I can't sit on the thing without yelping !!

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  1. Shouldn't laugh at your ladder escapade ! But it's hilarious! Ladders and you are trouble it seems! Hope all is well down below ! A stiff drink in Benni I think! Enjoy! I'm still laughing sorry!:sun::roflmto::coolest:
 
Good job you never lost one, we would have to rename you ODDball the builder. :eek::D
 
Fancy a bloody builder getting his crackers caught on a ladder, I thought you guy were Nimble and perfectly poised !!
Good luck with the undercarriage mate. It sounds like a road test of said "crackers" will have to be carried out at the soonest opportunity.
I wish you luck in your "Quest" geezer..
Mitch...:tmi::tmi::tmi:
 
Anthea M said:
  1. Shouldn't laugh at your ladder escapade ! But it's hilarious! Ladders and you are trouble it seems! Hope all is well down below ! A stiff drink in Benni I think! Enjoy! I'm still laughing sorry!:sun::roflmto::coolest:
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I think "stiff" might be an unfortunate choice of adjective in this instance! :LOL:

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sounds like you had a good time last night.
Ladders are a pain.
John once moved the one on our overcab to get something out the cab, then decided to go for bread, i woke swung legs over the side on automatic pilot and was left dangling in the air desperate for the loo.
Hope everything is back in painfree working order soon.
 
Ok all yes pain is subsiding thanks,, so I have decided to leave tomorrow , go back to get letter, I have enjoyed my visit to Benidorm, meeting some funsters ( especially edd) and the weather has been lovely. So now I am going further south, no idea where yet but looking foreward to it!! Any suggestions as to where to go next. ?? I don't want to drive for hours but I do need lpg now( I think I have sorted problem with the fitting) I can't remember if I go past an lpg garage on the way back to Denia or not?? So any suggestions co ordinates for a bit further south would be lovely. ! Chat soon !! Ian ( formally known as one hung low!! ).
 
OMG Ian sorry but just had tears running down my face, :rofl:sounds like a sketch out of a Benny Hill show , what a start to the day. One little tip for your ladder put some of that Foam stuff they lag pipes with around the rungs do the ladder just stick it on with cable ties, could stop another accident in the future, steps that don't slip are a lot safer.
:dance:For giving me and my funny sense of humour a laugh.
 
At the moment this is my new itinerary!! (Till it changes). Denia tomorrow, javea sat and sunday( if I can get co ordinates for somewhere,,, again! ) then over to a caravan shop in fortuna on Monday on my way to Gus Lopez !! That's it at the mo. Ian xx
 
Ian . Sent text but I'll put it here also.
Caravanasmurcia,
Carretera Nacional,344 Km7
Torres de Cotillas 30565

Just checked the numbers as they've changed them & it is exit 575 off the A7/E15 , Autovia del Mediteraneo.

phone 968 62 34 34

& they are " cerraduras de ventanas " para hymer xxx whatever model is. Sure they speak English their though.

Local MH dealer here has gas + all fittings.
 
I would get ya testicles looked at a.s.a.p. fella make sure no damage. If ya cant find a medic try one of the orange sellers they will know the right kind of squeeze to use
 
Oh btw if in arenal area of Javea nr to Scallops and the Chinese bazzar shop. your find Sandras tearoom. When I was there thats where a few expat builders types where having a drink etc after work. you could find some leads for work there if ya feel inclined.

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