Tam n pups winter trip 2022

Northernraider said:
In other news .

I got a dear John today from the person I'd been seeing , to be honest it wasn't much of a surprise as they've been getting more and more distant over the last few weeks and have not had much chance to see each other between their work and mine and the stuff with mum.

I also knew it probably wouldn't last, but I guess I thought it would end when I went off travelling, but still hurts and feels crap right now. Timing sucks
Click to expand...
Look on the bright side Tam, at least you don't have to worry about keeping up the relationship whilst you've got everything else going on, yes it hurts but it has given you a little bit of 'freedom' from another commitment and feeling guilty that you are not giving that person the attention you think they should be getting.

I'm sure there's someone out there who's waiting for a handsome chappie like you to come along, it usually happens when you least expect it and at least you aren't now 'encumbered' by someone who isn't really 'in to you'.
 
Barclaybasher said:
no - just being 'woke' over 'dear John'.....
Click to expand...
I think we all know that Tam is a boy though ... :giggle: ... we've not seen him in anything to suggest otherwise although some of the stuff he wore in Morocco was questionable! :LOL:
 
Hi Tam seen any like this before.
On a sosta in Italy.
Chasnam
20230925_105946.jpg
 
A lot of changes in mum again over the weekend , a lot more confused, and having problems with vision at times too , Meds all increased again but I think they are switching to a pump type of pain relief etc from tomorrow, mostly in bed now , and she's been talking a fair bit in her semi conscious state to folk that are no longer with us.

I had a bit of a breakdown with the nurse this morning as it's upsetting just how fast things are changing now , she has moments where she's really switched on but then others where she doesn't know where she is or what's going on .

There seems to be something going on with calcium or something that's apparently common in people who's cancer is in to the bones and it causes problems with vision etc , and the nurse says she can now feel a few lumps ( tumours in mums abdomen at her stomach which is causing mum to constantly feel full even though she's not eating very much at all .

So all In all the last 3 days have been shit

This feckn disease is horrible
 
So sorry Tam. It is truly horrible. Glad you got some of the emotions out with the nurse. It's better for you even though it can leave you feeling like a wet rag and even more worn out.
Thinking of you.

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 
Tam, really sorry reading all this so upsetting for you glad to hear you talked to the nurse, a horrible thing for you and your mum. Sending hugs and you know you can vent on here anytime you need an outlet everyone is here for you.
 
I was 20 when my mother went the same way, I think about her every day and you’ll never stop tam, this is bringing it all back for me so I know exactly how you are feeling, just keep thinking of the good times and try to put the bad times at the back of your mind or that’s all your remember, try to be strong for both of you and let it all out later when alone and just think of all the happy times with mum….

I can’t see the keyboard anymore….😭😭😭😭😭❤️
 
Sorry Just smiffy. That smilie should have been a heart hug. Fat fingers on a phone screen. Apologies.
Sue
 
It's like picadilly circus in here the last few days with nurses coming and going at all hours. They've been great to be honest helping with bathing mum and had a Marie curie one stay over last night to give my sister a break and a night's sleep. The downside is everytime one of the nurses asks me if I'm OK I end up in tears. They keep going on about councilling etc but right now I think they just need to stop asking because I can't answer. I'm sad, I'm numb, I'm angry , I'm scared, I'm frustrated, I'm heartbroken.... none of that's going to change for a long time. The mum I knew is hardly recognisable at the minute, this horrible shitty disease has stolen her.... there's little quality of life there now, she only comes out of bed for a wee and it's back in , can't walk any distance now , mostly asleep but not what I'd call a peaceful sleep, she's muttering and restless , doesn't eat more than a spoon or fork full of anything, hardly drinks , it's hard to believe that I had her out to asda last week , and that 3 weeks ago she was walking upstairs herself, a month ago she walked from the car in to the hospital. Its spread so fast to every part of her body , she's so thin and frail I can lift her in and out of bed with no effort , ela weighs more than she does at the minute.

She's so confused and muddled it's hard to make sense of most things she's saying .... my brothers coming through today and I think he's in for a shock just how much she's charged just since Saturday when he last saw her.

He's still not handling the death of his wife 11 years ago from cancer and instead of getting help he just drinks, so I worry about his mental health after this too.


I'm not sure we will see another week , I'm still not ready to lose her but this isn't a life anymore , I don't know how she still has a faith , she still says stuff like " I thank God for what I have " and things and I can't believe any god would let people endure this shit ...


This getting old stuff just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, especially as when my time comes I'll be alone.

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 
Your post above brings back a lot of memories about my Mum, Tam. When she was told there was nothing more to be done she took to her bed and basically never got up again, I'm sure she switched off.

When the nurses arrive just ask them not to ask you how you're doing, I'm sure they'll understand.

It sounds like you are getting a lot more help than we did but I'm talking 34 years ago. Take all the help they are offering.

Love and best wishes to you and the family at this very sad time.
 
Littlewheels said:
You are in our hearts and minds Tam, you share your life with us on here and we become apart of it.We are all thinking of you and your Mum so you are never alone.
Click to expand...
Well said. Sounds like the nurses are being fantastic.
A horrible disease but she is being kept comfortable and you and your family are having some time to say goodbye. Not everyone gets that time.
 
Tam, stick at it mate,your feelings are all very normal. My mum died age 92 ,nine years ago and she had dementia and didn’t speak for weeks before she died…..but her last words at the final hour were “super life,thank you”. She had a strong faith and was not afraid of dying,so god was a help to her.
Dad died of cancer age 39,when I was a baby…….where was god then?
Your friends on here are thinking of you.
Those nurses are just fantastic aren’t they.

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 
My mum had lung cancer and was told she had 12 months with chemo, she said she was happy with that she was full of life, happy chatty and telling jokes but then she was diagnosed with pneumonia and told she had 3 weeks at the most. She took to her bed too and put on a brave face when I visited her most days. I went away to visit my elderly father in law in Wales for two days and that's when she died, she stopped perking herself up for me I think and just gave in to it. Before she died she asked me to take her dog, which broke her heart more than anything, he was only two years old he is 8 now and every day I look at him I remember her sobbing when I took him. I feel your pain Tam I know this is so difficult for you. Take care.
 
The day my mum went into the hospice is the day I considered that she died, I’m sure because of that I still have happy memories of her… for two weeks in the hospice was just visiting someone I didn’t recognise and she didn’t recognise us either. It was just a waiting room.

We all have to go through it and we will all deal with it in our own ways, it will just feel like that you can’t cope Tam but you will get through and time is a healer but you’ll never forget so try to remember the good times.

We are all here for you so you ARE not alone…❤️
 
I hope it’s quick for both your sakes. I also hope your mum has enough medication in her so she is not in pain, & particularly not frightened. I think with the MacMillan nurses involved that should be ok, but just be sure & speak up if you think it is not the case. Sending a hug - you’re doing the best you can, & crying is a good thing.
 

Join us or log in to post a reply.

To join in you must be a member of MotorhomeFun

Join MotorhomeFun

Join us, it quick and easy!

Join us

Log in

Already a member? Log in here.

Latest journal entries

Back
Top