Tam n pups winter trip 2022

Just to change the mood , just saw this on a French Aire and it looks very tidy.
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Just smiffy said:
The day my mum went into the hospice is the day I considered that she died, I’m sure because of that I still have happy memories of her… for two weeks in the hospice was just visiting someone I didn’t recognise and she didn’t recognise us either. It was just a waiting room.

We all have to go through it and we will all deal with it in our own ways, it will just feel like that you can’t cope Tam but you will get through and time is a healer but you’ll never forget so try to remember the good times.

We are all here for you so you ARE not alone…❤️
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I did exactly the same
 
We might all be a distance away from you Tam but we're all with you and sending hugs and love.
Counselling might be a good idea later but maybe not right for you at the moment. I'm sure the nurses will understand if you just say that to them.
 
Manic said:
Just to change the mood , just saw this on a French Aire and it looks very tidy.
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It does, but it also looks like it's stops are at Le Parkhurst & Le Strangeways! It's a bit "prison van" for me.

Tam, the whole getting old thing is crap, no doubt about it. I'd like to go like my Grandad - bloody great heart attack at a ripe old age, dead before he hit the floor, still pretty active up to that point. But the reality for most is very different - which makes living for what you want to do all the more important, which looks to be what you're doing. You know your Mum would want you to be happy. Take care.

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Manic said:
Just to change the mood , just saw this on a French Aire and it looks very tidy.
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This one is cool too and a 4x4

But I ain't changing vans again anytime soon .

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Lenny HB said:
Phew!
Thank goodness for that.
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Decided its best not to do anything till way later. I'm still undecided if I want to buy this house, or buy a flat , or buy a house to rent out or move abroad etc ... who knows at the minute. I started to think the other day maybe the universe made me decide to sell the euramobil etc and buy a cheaper van so I had more funds etc for a reason . But I can't decide what I want to do at present so it's best just to see how things go.

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pagey said:
Just an opinion but do nothing you are not fully functional at the moment and what's the rush your still young well sort of
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That's the plan for now .

Mum's solicitor won't give us any info on the house stuff till after she passes so at present no idea if it will go to probate or if the trust she set up avoids that or not . From my understanding the house is actually in the solicitors hands at present and the trust is dissolved on my mums death and returned to us. But its hard to understand so I phoned solicitor the other day. But he said he can't discuss it with us till after.

My thinking is that if its going to take months to sort out that then I would be aswell going away for a few of the colder months and returning when it's ready to sell etc. Then decide if I want to buy it.

If its not going to be months then I will wait till its all sorted out , and decide at that point whether to buy it or just let it go.

I've mixed feelings as this house has been in my family since 1941 and it would be weird to pass and it have other owners. But that's life really so that might pass. It's a big house for me to live in but I could rent it out for a while and still travel off the money it brought in rent.

Or I could buy a small flat instead.

As I say I've mixed feelings , mum would love one of us to keep it and I'm the only one who could or would consider it.
 
Northernraider said:
That's the plan for now .

Mum's solicitor won't give us any info on the house stuff till after she passes so at present no idea if it will go to probate or if the trust she set up avoids that or not . From my understanding the house is actually in the solicitors hands at present and the trust is dissolved on my mums death and returned to us. But its hard to understand so I phoned solicitor the other day. But he said he can't discuss it with us till after.

My thinking is that if its going to take months to sort out that then I would be aswell going away for a few of the colder months and returning when it's ready to sell etc. Then decide if I want to buy it.

If its not going to be months then I will wait till its all sorted out , and decide at that point whether to buy it or just let it go.

I've mixed feelings as this house has been in my family since 1941 and it would be weird to pass and it have other owners. But that's life really so that might pass. It's a big house for me to live in but I could rent it out for a while and still travel off the money it brought in rent.

Or I could buy a small flat instead.

As I say I've mixed feelings , mum would love one of us to keep it and I'm the only one who could or would consider it.
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As I said too many variables at the moment but it will become clearer many of us on here are older and have been there just chill
 
Northernraider said:
That's the plan for now .

Mum's solicitor won't give us any info on the house stuff till after she passes so at present no idea if it will go to probate or if the trust she set up avoids that or not . From my understanding the house is actually in the solicitors hands at present and the trust is dissolved on my mums death and returned to us. But its hard to understand so I phoned solicitor the other day. But he said he can't discuss it with us till after.

My thinking is that if its going to take months to sort out that then I would be aswell going away for a few of the colder months and returning when it's ready to sell etc. Then decide if I want to buy it.

If its not going to be months then I will wait till its all sorted out , and decide at that point whether to buy it or just let it go.

I've mixed feelings as this house has been in my family since 1941 and it would be weird to pass and it have other owners. But that's life really so that might pass. It's a big house for me to live in but I could rent it out for a while and still travel off the money it brought in rent.

Or I could buy a small flat instead.

As I say I've mixed feelings , mum would love one of us to keep it and I'm the only one who could or would consider it.
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Sorry to hear about your Mum watching someone die with cancer is the worst thing imaginable and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, went through this with my Dad few years back 3 weeks every day sitting in a hospital, to tell you the truth I was wishing towards the end he would go🥲

Lost my Mum in May, had her second round of chemo and she got pneumonia a week later she was gone 1st of May on her 83rd birthday.
There was no way she would have lasted much longer so glad she went this way.

I got all the funeral out of the way and applied for probate, that will take about 18 weeks now so we went away for a month in the van and since we are back been sorting out the house obviously cannot sell until probate is issued, another useless government department 🤬🤬

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Coastal Cruiser. said:
Sorry to hear about your Mum watching someone die with cancer is the worst thing imaginable and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, went through this with my Dad few years back 3 weeks every day sitting in a hospital, to tell you the truth I was wishing towards the end he would go🥲

Lost my Mum in May, had her second round of chemo and she got pneumonia a week later she was gone 1st of May on her 83rd birthday.
There was no way she would have lasted much longer so glad she went this way.

I got all the funeral out of the way and applied for probate, that will take about 18 weeks now so we went away for a month in the van and since we are back been sorting out the house obviously cannot sell until probate is issued, another useless government department 🤬🤬
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See I'm not that clued up on the probate thing but in 2019 after a long spell in hospital mum put the house in to a trust with the family solicitor to avoid losing the house should she have required longterm care in a residential home. All the fees to the solicitor, the court and hmrc were all paid at the time. The trust states the house is now in the hands of the solicitors until mum's death at which point the trust is dissolved and the solicitor passes it to those named in her will which is the 3 of us. So I'm wondering if that bypasses all the probate stuff.

But anyway will find out afterwards , mum had the house valued last week as she wanted to know what it was worth now. My dad and her bought it in 1985 , it was built in 1937 and only 1 other person lived in it before my gran and grandad moved in 1941 . My gran died in 1982 and mum and dad bought it when my dad took his redundancy from the pit in 1985 .
 
Northernraider said:
See I'm not that clued up on the probate thing but in 2018 mum put the house in to a trust with the family solicitor. All the fees to the solicitor, the court and hmrc were all paid at the time. The trust states the house is now in the hands of the solicitors until mum's death at which point the trust is dissolved and the solicitor passes it to those named in her will which is the 3 of us. So I'm wondering if that bypasses all the probate stuff.

But anyway will find out afterwards , mum had the house valued last week as she wanted to know what it was worth now. My dad and her bought it in 1985 , it was built in 1937 and only 1 other person lived in it before my gran and grandad moved in 1941 . My gran died in 1982 and mum and dad bought it when my dad took his redundancy from the pit in 1985 .
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Don’t know about your situation as I had to apply for probate once Mum passed.
As you say maybe your Mum sorted it before and if she did fair play to her for thinking ahead.

I know the month away did me good after the funeral, don’t know why but Mums death hit me a lot harder than my Dad and I use to see him 3–4 times a week.
I still don’t like going in the house to check it or sort something out, I think once it’s sold it will feel better 🥲🥲
 
It's not surprising you are in turmoil at the moment as I said too many variables pulling you all over the place it will sort itself out give it time
 
Aye it’s a hard time this Tam for you, I know how I felt in this situation in 2001, I don’t know how you feel as everyone reacts differently but I was a mess for ages before it got better.

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Another shit day today , this morning was just hell, mum in a lot of pain that we just couldn't get under control ... by 11.45 we had 2 doctors and 3 nurses in . After upping all the meds in mums pump again and an injection of pain killers she finally settled down by around 12.30 ...

She has slept soundly but peacefully since , hasn't eaten since 9pm last night, she just wouldn't take anything and despite struggling to get her up to the toilet around 11am this morning she's not passed any fluids since 10pm last night and no solids for 9 days now ☹️

Tonight her breathing is extremely slow , I can count slowly to 20 between breaths ,

She has at least been comfortable and pain free since lunchtime while she's slept, I think the way things are going we are in to the last few days , to be honest if she stays pain-free and comfortable it will be a blessing as it's all I want for her now however heartbreaking it is .

She seemed to take comfort from me stroking her hair and holding her hand this morning while she was struggling through but it was really hard to watch and I really hope we don't have another morning like that. My brother was through again today but unfortunately mum slept through his whole visit . But at least he saw her.
 

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