Tam, Jade and Franky's European Adventure

So sad and frustrating in equal measures. Your Mom seems to be deciding what she wants to do and no-one is going to change that. I think you are right to think about escaping and getting your head round it all. {{Hugs}}
 
Tam, these are the most difficult times I’m afraid. I’ve been through it with my parents and more recently with SWMBO’s mum who struggled almost identically to your mum. It really takes it out of you and the visits are totally exhausting mentally. Your sister will be getting through things easier than you simply because she knows what’s going on medically whereas you’ll feel quite helpless with the unfolding situation.
It’s a good thing you have Jade just now. Make time for yourself, go and walk Jade somewhere nice , Aberdour beach or somewhere ...... difficult as it is, maybe don’t visit hospital each day, maybe share the load with your sister and go on alternate days.
If you want to meet up for a walk with Jade and our Bailey round the Glen or whatever, let me know. Feeling for you Tam :(
 
Oh dear. What a horrible situation for you all. Good suggestions from Baileysbus above, especially about sharing the load. And remember, your trip might seem like a distant memory but this situation will not go on forever and you will then be able to continue with your travels at some point. look after yourself. Xx
 
Tam, what a horrible situation to be in. I can't help but think that if she's sound of mind and that's her choice then all you can do is what you already are doing - being there to be with her regularly, even if it is for only a brief period each time.

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So sorry to hear that Tam. I think some short trips away might be in order. Not too far, as I think you will probably want to be there for your mum in the end, no matter how hard it is. Everyone needs a break from the situation you are in, but don’t be tempted to run too far, as I think you would regret it. Seaside and mountains can be great healers, even in rubbish weather.
 
We can’t imagine how you must be feeling - you must have all sorts of thoughts racing through your mind. What we do know is that it’s a really miserable time for you all. We wish you the strength to get through this and hope that your Mum won’t be suffering for too long.

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Tam,sorry to hear Mums getting worse. It’s tough,and you can’t do any more than you already have. Just have to be there for her I guess.
Very best wishes.
 
Tam
Really feel for you. We are lucky in that we have a large family on both sides to give support but it doesn’t take away the pain of seeing someone close drift away.
You know you have support from many people here and we all wish your mum well.
Conal
 
Keep your chin up pal.
Afraid I'm another in the don't go too far.
I had a similar situation wth my dad , went every night to visiting hour, you both run out of things to say or talk about . Know it's difficult , but , you've got to make some me time . Any reasonable person will understand , and if they don't they haven't been in the situation themselves.
Really hope your Mum gets even a small improvement in her health.
John
 
My best wishes to you and your family, take care.

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Really sorry to read this Tam, you obviously care deeply for your mum so this must be especially painful and frustrating to watch. Someone suggested a wee trip ... even an overnighted for a walk someowhete new with Jade, a meal out and back the next day might reinvigorate you. Thinking of you.
 
Don't know what to say Tam.
I couldn't post a reply straight away as you brought back all sorts of memories of my own mum.
I wish you all the best as many on Fun do.
Get away for a few days in the fresh air and clear your head, then come back stronger.
We are with you.

Richard.
 
So sorry to hear this Tam. Don't really know what to say except keep strong. Is there any way you could take Jade in to see you Mum ? Worth asking as they might think it could help.
 
Oh heck Tam what a turn if events, it must be so difficult to get your head around , go and have a Mooch around your own beautiful country for a escape for your own sanity not to far or long but enough to help you cope.
 
Thoughts are with you Tam.

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Tam a difficult time. Could you take a book in to read to her, it would probably be a comfort to your Mum as she would find pleasure in hearing your voice, the words wouldn’t matter.

I can understand that you would want to get out of Mum’s house for a break and it might be that you end up parking van at hospital so you can still see to Jade.

You are a kind and loving son, be there for her and accept her wishes although this will be hard for you.

Lots of comfort is being sent to you from your funster friends. x
 
So sorry to read about the situation with your Mum Tam. It must be very difficult as it sounds as though she wants to go.....so very hard for you and your sister.

Thoughts are with you.
 
Thanks for the well wishes etc folks it really is appreciated.

Sorry I'm just not feeling so chatty at the minute...just struggling with it all.

I was in visiting yesterday and I actually got a little glimmer of hope that we had perhaps turned a corner , she was a little livelier and told me she had eaten breakfast and some lunch that day , we were chatting a bit and then she said she was hungry around 3.30 so I had helped eat a pot of noodles ....Well she had about 5 forkfulls and drank most of the liquid which believe me was a big improvement. ...no sign of her feeling sick either.
She had asked my sister to take in some chips last night which she did but she only ate 4 or 5 but again better than she's been.

Sadly today that appetite had gone again and today wasn't a good day ....She slept most of it and had little to eat today.
She's also very dehydrated again do they've had to put her back on a drip as potassium and magnesium levels are critically low. They also suspected today that the may have been having a minor heart attack but we will know more about that tomorrow. Her muscles have degraded quite a lot and the heart being a muscle it's taken a beating too.
Tomorrows another day and I can only hope that maybe with the fluids going in tonight she will be a little better again tomorrow.
Her consultant was in yesterday while I was there and had asked her In the event of a heart attack did she want resuscitated which I felt was strange timing so I'm not sure if maybe they are expecting something I wasn't.

Needless to say I can't go anywhere at the minute , my windscreens finally getting fitter on Tuesday anyway so I will see how this week goes.

I can't quite believe this is real ....I've not been a fan of Christmas for a lot of years as too many bad memories
I've had 2 relationships end around Christmas, I lost my dad a few weeks after Christmas and my sister in law lost her fight with cancer just after new year...so it's never been a time I like these days

I think if I lose my mum this year that will be the final straw.

It's hard to even think about it this year



Anyway I will keep you posted of any events

I'm so grateful I adopted this wee treasure this year as she's been keeping my spirits up and giving me something to focus on other than mum
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Really difficult time for you Tam, so hard. Best wishes for whatever lies ahead.
 
Good Luck with it all Tam - don't know what else to say. My mother-in-law is back in hospital today - we seem to be in a pattern now, 3 or 4 weeks out, then back in for 3 or 4 weeks. Just changes so quickly though, we never know one day to the next how she's going to be, on Friday she said she was feeling fine. She is at least lucid this time, but not feeling at all well.
 
Just a thought Tam, have you told your mum about Jade and would you be allowed to take her in for a visit, or take mum outside in a wheelchair to see her.

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