Tam & co the great winter escape

[scousebird]

I hope you get your Mum sorted ASAP Tam

 

[Blossom]

Northernraider Tam I feel your pain I have a similar situation with my Dad so I can relate to all you say. Can you not tell your brother, cause he is going to find out when he comes to see Mum anyway, but ask him not to tell your Mum you told him. I hope your sister can finish her holiday okay. I think it’s like they revert to being a demanding child and I don’t mean that nasty at all cause non of us know how we would be as we get older.

 

[15edward]

It’s the lesson for all oldies from the thread Getting Old is No Fun
I’m telling my children now how to react if my behaviour deteriorates into obtuse selfishness and not to try and relate to me as if I was of sound mind and judgement. Apart from the legal safeguards of powers of attorney and living wills I’m not sure what else there is to do.

 

[scotzsue]

It’s the lesson for all oldies from the thread Getting Old is No Fun
I’m telling my children now how to react if my behaviour deteriorates into obtuse selfishness and not to try and relate to me as if I was of sound mind and judgement. Apart from the legal safeguards of powers of attorney and living wills I’m not sure what else there is to do

Had that conversation with my boys some time ago, coversley what do you do about a 51yo cycling LE to JOG not sending his i am ok message for the last 2 nights? He is i tracked him and he was on the move.
Kids no matter what there age

 

[jockaneezer]

I wouldn't be in a rush to tell your sis as she's on holiday ? My brother phoned me in Cyprus, just as we came out of a friend's wedding in Paphos Town Hall, to tell me our Dad had been diagnosed with bowel cancer, spoiled the whole thing for us, and Dad went along fine for another 9 years !

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[Northernraider]

Doctor has just finally been , checked knee says not hot , no obvious sign of infection just a little swollen and looks more inflammed than infected says to continue with paracetamol and anti inflammatories ....i really wanted to say i feckin told her that but i bit my tongue.

She's taken more bloods just incase and will phone after 5 to advise of results.

Mum still having trouble getting out of chair though and im meant to be working tonight and all weekend

I could throttle her as if she would just listen and stop being pigheaded the anti inflammatories would have been working by now.

 

[Gina M]

I wouldn't be in a rush to tell your sis as she's on holiday ? My brother phoned me in Cyprus, just as we came out of a friend's wedding in Paphos Town Hall, to tell me our Dad had been diagnosed with bowel cancer, spoiled the whole thing for us, and Dad went along fine for another 9 years !

Wow, I've changed my mind now you have told us that. I thought Tam should tell his siblings. But I should know better he knows his mum better than me. It went the opposite way for me I didn't tell the family about my dad being poorly, he was only 60 with lots of underlying health problems. He died and my family were furious "why didn't you tell we could have helped, blah blah" most of them were lying tossers anyway I didn't feel guilty, not one bit. I did what my Dad asked of me.

Gina

 

[Northernraider]

To be fair my sister has all this to deal with most of the time when she's home so i don't want her worrying about it all when she's away . My brother on the other hand gets off lightly as he stays about 20 miles away so he only ever comes through once a week or fortnight. If she acts like nowt is wrong when he visits tomorrow ill be going nuts

 

[Northernraider]

Speak of the devil ...my sister just phoned her , ive sat here listening to her telling her a load of fibs... everything fine blah blah blah ...

 

[Onemanandhisdog]

Well that's a good thing really so as not to disrupt your sisters holiday.

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[Phill D]

Don't you just love the play down...
Not..

My dad pretended ( very successfully) to cope when my mum had altzhiemers, and we were only allowed to do and know limited information.
Iyt was only when it became too much and he became ill that my sister and I had a real cshock at how difficult things must have been for him.
4 of us, my sister and I and or respective partners could hardly cope with her.

If he had been less protective and more open, we could have helped or arranged help, kept him fit and healthy and mum had a broader depth of care.

All you can do is support as much as you are allowed.
Remember that you need to look after yourself as well as your mum Tam.

 

[Bognor Saint]

Every time we used to go on holiday my mother became "ill". "I've got a bag packed in case I have to go into hospital while you are away".
We'd often fly off for some winter sun and I'd always call her and she'd tell me we needn't have gone away because the weather was glorious at home when in fact I knew it was crap.

 

[Northernraider]

Every time we used to go on holiday my mother became "ill". "I've got a bag packed in case I have to go into hospital while you are away".
We'd often fly off for some winter sun and I'd always call her and she'd tell me we needn't have gone away because the weather was glorious at home when in fact I knew it was crap.

Aye as bad as it sounds i do often think sometimes its attention seeking.....which i could understand if she never saw us but my sister and i are around all the time i spend at least 2 hours in here everyday when im home. And she is part recluse anyway ..folk come to visit and she chases them away lol.

I think she actually enjoys being awkward and she loves to complain to my sister about me and to me about her. My brother the oldest is the golden child who can do no wrong but does the least to help.

 

[Phill D]

If I had not visited my mum for 2 days I would get the...
" so you remember where I live then" speach

 

[Northernraider]

Just literally pulled up at work , mum phoned . Apparently doctor phoned says infection markers in blood now over 200 so ive to take her to a&e and she's to go in to theatre

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[f6c]

Sorry to here that Tam

 

[Northernraider]

At least i won't have to worry about her falling again while at work .. but i couod have done without losing the earnings. The joys of casual work

 

[Winger]

Oh dear Tam, your life is not getting an easier

 

[scousebird]

Just literally pulled up at work , mum phoned . Apparently doctor phoned says infection markers in blood now over 200 so ive to take her to a&e and she's to go in to theatre

I hope it all goes well for Mum and she's on the mend soon.

 

[Minxy]

To be fair my sister has all this to deal with most of the time when she's home so i don't want her worrying about it all when she's away . My brother on the other hand gets off lightly as he stays about 20 miles away so he only ever comes through once a week or fortnight. If she acts like nowt is wrong when he visits tomorrow ill be going nuts

Make sure you tell him, regardless of how she acts, out of her presence though as she'll stare daggers at you and of course deny everything. He needs to know but your sister can't do anything whilst she's away so don't tell her unless it's vital.

Every time we used to go on holiday my mother became "ill". "I've got a bag packed in case I have to go into hospital while you are away".
We'd often fly off for some winter sun and I'd always call her and she'd tell me we needn't have gone away because the weather was glorious at home when in fact I knew it was crap.

That's exactly what my Mum was doing, playing silly sods every time we went away, she's still doing it now in the care home hence why we don't tell her anymore that we've gone on holiday.

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[Minxy]

Aye as bad as it sounds i do often think sometimes its attention seeking.....which i could understand if she never saw us but my sister and i are around all the time i spend at least 2 hours in here everyday when im home. And she is part recluse anyway ..folk come to visit and she chases them away lol.

I think she actually enjoys being awkward and she loves to complain to my sister about me and to me about her. My brother the oldest is the golden child who can do no wrong but does the least to help.

To be honest Tam it IS attention seeking, it doesn't matter how much you see her she'll always want more. As for the awkwardness etc, again that's a game they play, you don't want to know the lies etc that my Mum has told my family about what I have and haven't done, causing major issues, she admitted to me that she does it as she likes to get a 'reaction'.

 

[Northernraider]

Sat in a&e .. doctor hasnt told them anything. Its mobbed as its a friday. She now has to sit here wait her turn to see triage nurse who will then contact orthopaedics when its clear that they are not going to take her in to theatre tonight and it is not an a&e issue.

We could be sat here for hours before she even gets seen , and then it could be more hours after that to get a bloody bed.

This system is stupid.

And there are people sitting here with light grazes on knees etc ...have they not heard of bleeding plasters

If it wasn't going to be done tonight i could have brought her in the morning.

 

[Minxy]

If it's any consolation Tam at least it's not 12.05 am on your 40th wedding anniversary as it was with me last time with my Mum!

 

[Phill D]

Surely the gp would have recorded the results of the bloods taken, so the information will be available to the A&E doctors and triage nurses.

 

[Figaro]

Surely the gp would have recorded the results of the bloods taken, so the information will be available to the A&E doctors and triage nurses.

You'd think so but I bet they ask for another blood test

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[Northernraider]

We have now been seen by triage nurse and are in minor injuries , wr are the only ones in here yet waiting room is mobbed.
4 nurses sat at desk and two doctors. You've to come through here to access majors unless brought in by ambulance so im baffled why no one is being seen .

We still waiting for someone to come down from orthopaedic

 

[Northernraider]

Surely the gp would have recorded the results of the bloods taken, so the information will be available to the A&E doctors and triage nurses.

No idea ... Getting information is really hard. No one seems to communicate

You'd think so but I bet they ask for another blood test

Yep more than likely.

 

[Phill D]

No idea ... Getting information is really hard. No one seems to communicate

Yep more than likely.

I can't reconcile how a gp will say test show surgery is likely and to go to A&E now and the gp has not informed the hospital or not had a conversation with them.
The hospital will of course want to confirm the GPS information.
But if the hospital have had no contact from gp then I would be challenging the gp next week.
Anyway, Tam you have enough on your plate without my ramblings

 

[Minxy]

Tam are you SURE that you're Mum wasn't telling porkies about the GP ringing?

 

[Northernraider]

Tam are you SURE that you're Mum wasn't telling porkies about the GP ringing?

Nope they must have blood results as orthopaedic here now

Crp was 5 on Tuesday its 295 today so she has an infection and its getting worse. Just about to stick big needle i. Ti her knee and see what comes out

But its highly likely she needs an operation

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