Ian and helga go south !!

I hate to disappoint many here but a good old fashioned English bird is definitely the way I will go!! What on earth would I do with a long legged,long haired, beautiful figured, younger, stunningly attractive Ukrainian woman anyway??????? Helga would never forgive me!!
 
I hate to disappoint many here but a good old fashioned English bird is definitely the way I will go!! What on earth would I do with a long legged,long haired, beautiful figured, younger, stunningly attractive Ukrainian woman anyway??????? Helga would never forgive me!!
What's wrong with a nice Welsh, Scottish or Irish one then ;)
 
What's wrong with a nice Welsh, Scottish or Irish one then ;)
I would love a go with any of them sue! I just ain't met any yet! I did chat to a girl from Glasgow one night though , all was going lovely till she had a drink and proceeded to stand on the table and start throwing bottles about!! It all went a bit pear shaped then!! It scarred me for life sue, as soon as I hear the accent I get a cold shiver down my spine!!
 
I would love a go with any of them sue! I just ain't met any yet! I did chat to a girl from Glasgow one night though , all was going lovely till she had a drink and proceeded to stand on the table and start throwing bottles about!! It all went a bit pear shaped then!! It scarred me for life sue, as soon as I hear the accent I get a cold shiver down my spine!!
Be thankful you did not get a weege kiss off one like I did:Eeek:

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On a lighter note,, all the hymers have turned up , not all hymers but some nice vans of all types and ages,the main thing that's noticeable is that there all Germans , it must be the start of a movement!! They are surrounding me and helga and I must say they are throwing a few admiring glances towards her, I have never really been the jealous type but if anyone tries to tempt her there's gonna be trouble!!! I did however laugh because they all took ages to sort their choice of pitch out, there was much debate and scowling at their other halves!! Lol it's a bit tight here, lots of trees in the pitches and much manoeuvering was evident! Still no damage all done now and they all look and sound very happy! I'm still waiting for the single, 6ft, leggy, lottery winning German blonde, woman ( single). To emerge from a brand new Hymer and wisk me away!!! Still we can all dream!!! Ian X
 
I was thinking the other day of an alternative way to make a living ! What about offering single females trips round Spain and Europe in helga? I mean I have plenty of room and I think I would be a great tour guide!! And i think it would be fun? Discuss!!!
 
I would love a go with any of them sue! I just ain't met any yet! I did chat to a girl from Glasgow one night though , all was going lovely till she had a drink and proceeded to stand on the table and start throwing bottles about!! It all went a bit pear shaped then!! It scarred me for life sue, as soon as I hear the accent I get a cold shiver down my spine!!
Not surprised lol
 
I would give them a quick run over with a gieger counter first ;):Eeek:
Certainly when I visited Kursk in Russia, nearby the Ukraine, the place was full of long legged beauties in the bars etc, and very few men!!!(y)
Campa ,,,, is there a lot of drama getting to and into Ukraine or other Eastern European countries do you know?
 
Campa ,,,, is there a lot of drama getting to and into Ukraine or other Eastern European countries do you know?
No drama getting into Russia as long as you get a visa, from the embassy, but you have send your passport off when I did it, but there used to be a loophole from getting to Finland to St Petersberg-Russia without one, not sure if that's still true.

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Ian I think that Spanish washer woman you met used to work as a fruit seller in them lay-bys you mentioned !!!
 
Well so far today has been a non event, I woke at 5,30 am and had the usual 35 mugs of tea! Had a walk to the shower at about 7 and then after fighting with a dodgy shower head ( every time I turned the tap on,the pressure of the water tilted the head upwards so whoever was outside the cubicle got a shower too) so I worked out that if I weighted it down with my bathroom bag all was good! Till I reached for my shower gell( still in the bag) upon taking the gell out the bag the head shot up and sprayed someone outside who was waiting ! I heard a loud shweinhund!!! I did try to apologise but it seemed a bit pointless really, he was coming in there next and he would find out for himself it wasn't deliberate!! After that I hung about outside for a min and as I thought about what to do, the bloke went into the shower. I heard the scream of a woman and a shriek DUMKOFF!! See mate I said. It was an accident!! Still I didn't hang about. She wasn't happy!! So I took stuff back to helga, made another cuppa and walked down to the beach, tea in hand to see the sunrise!! It was cloudy so I saw nothing but the view was lovely ( see pic). Had a lazy day really , bit of a fry up for breakfast, bit of tv( dvd only) had an hours kip this afternoon and I'm now contemplating moving on tomorrow, as others have said I could be waiting for this bloody mail for years!! So I have had a quiet week and I feel like a good night out. So I'm going to go straight to Benidorm and see what that's all about!! I will come back along this coast when I have to pick letter up so I will stay in javea then!! Sunday I think I will move. So now I would like some reccommended sites from you all in Benidorm please, oh and the co ordinates would be handy!! Chat soon. Ian. Xx image.jpeg
 
Hi (y)Ian
You will have a laugh in Beni and be sure to look up the Snowbirds at Villasol Campsite - Brisey and Pamelaar will look after you well - good on them :drinks::rock:
 
Is the site villasol full usually at this time tinca??

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Here you go Ian.

Avenida Bernat de Sarria 13
03503 Benidorm
Alicante Spain Tel. 965 850 422 - 966 800 898 Fax 966 806 420 info@camping-villasol.com GPS: 38º 32 '41' 'N ~ 0 ° 06' 25 '' W

Mike
Thanks Mike, me old mukker!! Reliable as always,,, if I could have found blokes as reliable as you when I had my building company, I could have ruled the world!!! ( in an £80,000 Motorhome). Have you been there?? The site I mean,, not on top of the world!!
 
We were in Beni last year and Villasol was full so we went next door to Camping Armarello. It was OK and the wifi was rubbish, so hope you can get in Villasol.
 
The Villasol campsite is pretty much full at the moment. There are a few pitches available and there are comings and goings on a daily basis. Upon arrival at Villasol you will be allowed to have a look around and choose a pitch before booking in. I believe that the La Torreta and El Raco sites are also very busy at the moment.
Brisey.

I have just been told that Camping Armanello is also full.
 
We stayed at Armanello last year after a recommendation,parked in the overspill part as the main site is tight.Plenty space and just walked round to the bar/restaurant and used the wifi there.

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Scratch Armanello then,you will just need to drive around and find a pitch somewhere.Beni is well worth a visit Ian.
 
:cheers::party2::cheers:
Well so far today has been a non event, I woke at 5,30 am and had the usual 35 mugs of tea! Had a walk to the shower at about 7 and then after fighting with a dodgy shower head ( every time I turned the tap on,the pressure of the water tilted the head upwards so whoever was outside the cubicle got a shower too) so I worked out that if I weighted it down with my bathroom bag all was good! Till I reached for my shower gell( still in the bag) upon taking the gell out the bag the head shot up and sprayed someone outside who was waiting ! I heard a loud shweinhund!!! I did try to apologise but it seemed a bit pointless really, he was coming in there next and he would find out for himself it wasn't deliberate!! After that I hung about outside for a min and as I thought about what to do, the bloke went into the shower. I heard the scream of a woman and a shriek DUMKOFF!! See mate I said. It was an accident!! Still I didn't hang about. She wasn't happy!! So I took stuff back to helga, made another cuppa and walked down to the beach, tea in hand to see the sunrise!! It was cloudy so I saw nothing but the view was lovely ( see pic). Had a lazy day really , bit of a fry up for breakfast, bit of tv( dvd only) had an hours kip this afternoon and I'm now contemplating moving on tomorrow, as others have said I could be waiting for this bloody mail for years!! So I have had a quiet week and I feel like a good night out. So I'm going to go straight to Benidorm and see what that's all about!! I will come back along this coast when I have to pick letter up so I will stay in javea then!! Sunday I think I will move. So now I would like some reccommended sites from you all in Benidorm please, oh and the co ordinates would be handy!! Chat soon. Ian. Xx View attachment 91247
Thanks for daily laugh! You and your shower escapades make me giggle! Lovely photo it's a great thing to watch the sun come up when the rest of the world are sleeping. Enjoy Beni! and have fun! Knowing you as we all do we wait in anticipation for the humerous updates!!
 
Hi Ian, no never been there or camped anywhere local as always stay in my house in Javea. Been to loads of places in Spain en route.

Just looked up Villasol on the web, easier for me when sitting at home as I am a retired old lad!

Mike
 
Well I will give villasol a try, you never know do you? But I'm hopefull somewhere will have a pitch ! Cheers all. !!!
 
Well I will give villasol a try, you never know do you? But I'm hopefull somewhere will have a pitch ! Cheers all. !!!
Hey Ian you could charm your way in! Or offer to do some repairs etc I'm sure they will let you in Helgas bum is not that big!!

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Dave. I'm laughing cause my mate had a go at that and he got in all sorts of dramas! Lol. I prefer the Ukrainian women if I was to go that way to be honest!! I may even have a look at Ukraine in helga!! lol. Ian

My neighbours Ukrainian wife will not even visit her parents at the mo due to the situation in the Ukraine. She has recently had their first grandchild as well.
Mind you they do live in the area that is pro-Russian & they consider themselves Ukrainian so never going to be good until it all gets sorted.

Remember the postman always rings twice.lol
 
Had a walk around Villasol about an hour ago, there are still a few empty pitches, so with a bit of luck you should be OK.
Cheers
Ed
Ed, I have decided to come tomorrow mate actually, so hopefully get there about. Whenever !! Hopefully spaces will be available. Thanks very much!! Ian xx
 
Ok I have an update for you all !! About an hour and a half ago, while I was cooking Garlick chicken fillets, pan fried potatoes and Heinz beans I looked out my kitchen window and bugger me a German in the van next to me was having a slash outside my window onto the grass! It was getting dark and I don't think he expected to be seen!! Well I thought bloody cheek pointing that at me and letting go !!!!! I banged on the window and in my best London accent shouted ok fritze do me a favour!! Seeing he'd been rumbled he hurriedly put himself away, raised a damp hand in a weak apology and slid back into his van!!! Well now I thought, I'm not one for tit for tat usually but the more I thought about it the more it wound me up!! I'm on bloody holiday and a bloke is pissing up helga! I'm not having it !! So this is what I have done! ( don't hate me for it) I noticed half an hour ago that he went out, so I have just put my hoses on and emptied my grey waste under his door! I'm afraid it does smell a bit ripe but I couldn't help myself, forgive me I am weak!!!! I wonder if he will say anything to me???? It's all an adventure isn't it ???
 
My husband just said well done but he'd have p**d up his van too! Of course you will now have the gray waste dribblers on your case!

Liz

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