Ian and helga go south !!

chaser said:
Bet he doesn't know whether he's coming or going tonight.....it will be Ian goes to the states, next thread;):)
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And just what will the Americans make of the very english Ian the Builder....would be a brill thread!! And ALL the American ladies just luuurve the London English accent....well Ian? (y):rofl:
 
Just had a call from Ian, he's had problems with EE when trying to load his phone with Internet. Unfortunately it's screwed up the internet side and until he can get EE to sort it he will not be adding to this thread. Please bear with him, we all know he can't be without us for long as we can't without him and his daily antics.

Go and get some jobs done while you can.

Nigel and Pamala
 
Just thinking all the washing Ian does and his domestic duties etc hes going to make someone a great wife

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I am going mad with frustration !!! I can't hardly hold the phone!! I will sleep now and post ( if I get Internet and phone sorted) early tomorrow before I leave!! You won't f,,,,g believe what I've been thru!!!!! Night ..
 
Now we won't sleep.....BUSBY.:):):):)
 
Oh heck Ian, what's up hope you are all right, now my imagination is running riot (n)
Sending you a virtual hug . :hugs:
 
ianthebuilder said:
I am going mad with frustration !!! I can't hardly hold the phone!! I will sleep now and post ( if I get Internet and phone sorted) early tomorrow before I leave!! You won't f,,,,g believe what I've been thru!!!!! Night ..
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Oh no, what have you been up to now?
 
Morning, Ian, you up yet? What's up? Hope all's OK, did you contact your lost love in America and anyone else maybe? Nosey, me! How very dare you:)

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Dum De Dum Dum, Dum De Dum Dum Derrrrrrr................ (sing it)
 
Ok. Good morning!!!!

Had a nightmare evening with the phone, as you may have seen !!
This is how it went !!!!

Message: your Ee roaming data has run out
Please purchase for price below...
100 mg =£3.00
Or 50 mg FREE till 12 midnight.....

Well I'm not in Mensa but I thought ok I will have a go at free!!!!!

Hit the free button!!!
All hell set loose!!!
Phone wouldn't let me access email, Internet even calling became a joke!!!

1.1/2 hours later I'm trying to call Ee customer services. 27 times I got thru and as soon as I was connected the phone cut off !!! Now I'm getting quite fraustrated by now!! No calls, no texts, no emails no internet!!

Went entirely thru phone book, got hold of Gus Lopez!! Chat went like this.

Hi Gus
Hello Ian
How are you Gus are you online?
I'm pissed off!
I'm sitting at Alicante beach and I been here since 3 o'clock waiting for the wife who's plane has been delayed!!!

Ok Gus you about on Monday ?
Might be, ring Monday

Ok mate !!!!

I didn't want to upset him any further!! ( hope the wife got home ok mate)


Tried numerous more numbers,, no connection. Phone kept telling me I had dialled incorrect nos,, I've had these numbers for years, there not bloody incorrect. It's this bloody phone!!!

Kept calling numbers !! bingo!! Pamela and nige ( sundowners)
Hello Ian
Hello nige
How are you?
I'm good, nige can you do me a favour mate Are you online??
Yes wassup ?
Can you post for me on fun, that my phone has packed up and I'm sorry for just cutting out!!
Can you tell pam that Ian,, she does all the posts!!
Yes ,,,
Hello Ian
Hello pam , you enjoying your holiday?
Yes ta, were in south of France for a bit, home in a week!
Ok nice one pam!!
Can you do me a post on fun?
Yes what's up ?

Well then you know the story I'm gratefull ( again) for their help, and you saw the post I'm sure !!!!

Ok I thought. Prob 1 sorted now I need to get hold of someone who can help me with Ee !!!

Looked at available numbers,, thought about what has to be done etc, I want them to call Ee customer svcs for me, here is my password, postcode. Number etc so they have to have half a brain at least!!!! Ahhhh Stuart my mate who worked for me !! Lovely. He's clever, no drama for him !! So phone rang,, and rang,, and rang,,, then I realised, he works nights, and doesn't have his phone on him !! Bollox !!!!

Went back into phone book,,,, tried a half dozen more numbers!!! Nothing!!!

Getting really angry with Ee now!! £ 100 per month approx,, 11 years a customer, never had a late payment !!

Well kept going ( sheer bloody mindedness) ,,,,, Now I then saw a number and thought. Should I ????
It was Anne, my ex wife from years ago( my daughters mum) now we are friends but there is a slight problem!! She lost most of her hearing a while ago and it's got worse,, but she always has someone round the house to chat too , so I thought she might be able to help !!!!! ,, conversation went like this ,,,,,,

Rrrrring. Rrrring.....

Aaaaaa
Hello. Anne,, is that you?
Aaa
Anne. It's Ian ,,,
Iad dode lib ere adybore.....
No Anne. I know Ian don't live there anymore,, it's me. Ian
He'd nod ere
No Anne I know I'm not there!! I'm here. It's me. IAN.

AAAA Heddo iad
Hello Anne ,,,,

Anne is there someone in your house with you ??

Wad I'd Goddard do wid yo who id my howd. It nod your howd adybore!!

No Anne i know it's not my house anymore,, I'm not interested in your boyfriend ir who your seeing but I need to talk to someone who can help me by making a call !!!

Wad ????

is there anyone there?? With you?
Wod?

Anne I will ring you another time , bye

Bye iad.....

Bless her I should never had rung it stressed me right out !!!

So after some moaning to myself I decided to go to bed now Im having tea, awake, reboot phone Again and all seems ok !!! For now !! So how did your evening go ?? Ok ??


So now I'm up, going to shower, get sorted, pay for the 2 nights, go to Malaga or near, hopefully catch brewery Dave and family and have myself a nice chilled out drink!!!

Chat later!! Xxxxxx
 
£100 a month.:eek::eek::eek:
After Mel's link to the Hauwei I bought that for £20 and have bought the 12 month 3 sim deal for £30,that's me sorted. £50 for 13 months data,will change my phone to pay as you go when I go abroad this month and put a tenner on it for any calls I might make
 
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ianthebuilder said:
Rrrrring. Rrrring.....

Aaaaaa
Hello. Anne,, is that you?
Aaa
Anne. It's Ian ,,,
Iad dode lib ere adybore.....
No Anne. I know Ian don't live there anymore,, it's me. Ian
He'd nod ere
No Anne I know I'm not there!! I'm here. It's me. IAN.

AAAA Heddo iad
Hello Anne ,,,,

Anne is there someone in your house with you ??

Wad I'd Goddard do wid yo who id my howd. It nod your howd adybore!!

No Anne i know it's not my house anymore,, I'm not interested in your boyfriend ir who your seeing but I need to talk to someone who can help me by making a call !!!

Wad ????

is there anyone there?? With you?
Wod?

Anne I will ring you another time , bye

Bye iad.....

Bless her I should never had rung it stressed me right out !!!
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Seems a bit cruel to laugh but that was funny :LOL:

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€15 a month for 2 GB payg for a Spanish sim.'orange' Easy to top up in any tabac. . That what I've been using since I've been in spain. Now in Portugal using theirs.'Meo' €15 for 15 GB for 15 days. A lot cheaper.€10 for the card though.
 
On a slightly different tack - I was working for a completely blind woman (I'm an electrician) and after discussing what work she needed carrying out she said "I must get on I was in the middle of dusting" How does that work?

Rob
 
TrishandTerry said:
€15 a month for 2 GB payg for a Spanish sim. Easy to top up in any tabac. . That what I've been using since I've been in spain. Now in Portugal using theirs. €15 for 15 GB for 15 days. A lot cheaper.
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I know and I have been told trish. Lots of times!! I have an I phone and I ain't got a clue how to do it, so I will go home and sort Motorhome wifi out and get sorted permanently!!!! X
 
Good Morning Ian,

nuff said

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ianthebuilder said:
That's amazing!!!! It can't be her?? There must be lots of em?? That is truly amazing!! Looks like she's sorted, family etc. If it's her then I wish her well. I'm sure mr pizzo wouldn't want a text! Lolol. X cheers bigun!! Your not a pi are you? I've always fancied that for a living!! Lol. X
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There are no people on Facebook with that combination of names, but loads of SIRPA SALO's and I guess not many people put their middle name when they register, I didn't, but then I haven't got one!!! :rofl:
 
ianthebuilder said:
View attachment 99100 Well this is my new mate for the meal ! We been chatting away all night, God he is a laugh !! Do you think he's hot girls?
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That's what most of Spain like out of season...boring and lonely:(

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Just pulled up and sorted on site at tore vieca or whatever place is called,, brewery Dave told me about it,, good sized pitch, water, electric, Internet ( apparently) and alls good with the world !! Will give Dave a message to let him know I have arrived and then I will walk into town for coffee etc. Which is only up the road!! Muchas Gracias , Hasta luego !!!!!! Xxxx
 
Ok here's what happened when I left site this morning !! In the night, I wasn't aware that a bloke I'm a new coach built Motorhome, had come into the pitch behind me,, I needed to reverse off my ramps, I have a drop down bike rack fully loaded!! Didn't feel the need to unhook electrics just to go back 2 ft off ramps!!! So I didn't go behind helga!! So I reversed about 18 in back down ramp and put handbrake on!! Got out. Finish bloke is standing at the front of his van waving me to come over!!

I obliged and wandered back!!
Well when I got there my tailgate was half way up his bonnet !!! I couldn't believe it,, but he spoke English and he said that was lucky?? I said why??? Well I looked under tailgate and he had a towell on the bonnet that had wrapped itself round both catches which close tailgate when shut!!!

Well I looked again and thought. I might have got away with this. So I pulled slowly foreward and off his bonnet!! He removed towell and 2 tiny marks were visible,, but no scratches, no dents no paintwork damaged! Then when I looked properly I realised when he drove on he was 3ft onto my pitch, cause his van was longer!! Now who's fault would that have been?? Brewery Dave reckons the other geezers!!! Lol. It must be my lucky day!!! Xxx
 
Well mate.
Plans to come back to UK and work for the next "trip".
Talking to a Dalek policeman.
Found "THE" first love (but afraid to take the step of giving her a call).
Got a clean Helga.
Done Portugal and most of the Spanish coastline.
Tried to start a war with Finland. (their fault)

Its been quiet then !!!???!!!

Much love.
Mitch..;););)..

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