Doc on tour, France, Spain, Morroco.

CazPaul said:
Have you talked about it with her, if it was me I would, a good friendship should be open. Has she got any issues to deal with past or present?
Click to expand...
Jackie is very much a closed book to the point I've often wondered if she was in witness protection lol.....I'm quite naturally nosey so of course over the last 4 years I've asked questions...very rarely get any answers though no idea of her past other than her mum left her the house etc and she's obviously financially secure to not work etc. Everything else I've no idea. The first year I met her she was travelling with a friend in Greece they fell out and the friend flew back to the UK and Jackie then travelled around with me for that entire trip. Did the Same the following year, she likes her drink. She's usually crashed out every night by 9pm .
6,
99% of conversation we have is just present day stuff and about the dogs etc.
 
Northernraider said:
We're just friends that's it and the first few years we travelled around together we had a good laugh and got on well , the last 2 trips have been very different though , I like the company at times but it's starting to feel like I tiptoe on egg shells .

And in truth I can't be bothered with it.
Click to expand...
In that case, and easy for me to say I know, but if it's only a loose friendship, and she's bringing your mental health down I wouldn't bother with her.
You would be happier on your own with your dugs.
 
I don’t think it’s a man or woman thing, some people are just like that. They think everything other people do is somehow related to them, so of course the other person knows what they have done wrong! I’d ignore her totally until she gets a grip! You don’t need negativity in your life! Anyway you’re off to Morocco with CaptainPaul & smiffy who seem far better for your mental health!
 
Northernraider said:
We're just friends that's it and the first few years we travelled around together we had a good laugh and got on well , the last 2 trips have been very different though , I like the company at times but it's starting to feel like I tiptoe on egg shells .

And in truth I can't be bothered with it.
Click to expand...

I always say there isn’t a bad person just a bad match

For whatever reason if it ain’t working , limit it or move on , don’t overthink it

I find it’s People that make a holiday not the destination

I know this is easy said but just keep being sociable & you’ll find your place in life

It took me most of my life to find my happy place
 
Regarding Jackie could it be that she doesn’t like sharing you with Garry, sometimes people prefer a one on one friendship and not a group. If so she may be sulking about you having other friends visiting & showing you she can also have other friends like the British couple she is speaking with and ignoring you. Just a female perspective.

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 
Northernraider said:
Now yer talking
Click to expand...

Portugal may well be an option. Their income requirement for a visa is lower than most (I think about € 820 per month) and one can buy land cheaply.

One does need to be careful with land zoning and what can be done on the land. Be careful of land that is zoned 'rústico'. Often if there is a ruin on the land already one can get permission, within the original footprint, to rebuild.

But there are, I think many websites and chat groups dedicated to this so it's fairly easy to get quite a lot of information quite quickly.

As has been said, the weather north of the Algarve can sometimes be more challenging than one expects.
 
Its a good job this smiffy is not an active member as he’s been mentioned a few times….😆😂😎

IMG_0256.webp
 
Northernraider said:
We're just friends that's it and the first few years we travelled around together we had a good laugh and got on well , the last 2 trips have been very different though , I like the company at times but it's starting to feel like I tiptoe on egg shells .

And in truth I can't be bothered with it.
Click to expand...
I know I always say I am not going to comment but you know I only try to help and you will probably argue with me. But you say the first two years were fine, do you think that maybe she can't get past all this dog stuff, it can't be much fun for her with them always around even if she does say she likes them.
And maybe today she just wants someone else to talk to.
I would like to think you treat her nice but in some of your moods that may not be always.the case.
I would stick with her as she seems for the most part to put up with you but if she wants to do her own thing, much like you, just give her a break.
Ok you can go back to flaming me now if it helps. ;) :sun:👍
 
Look I'm well aware it might just be me ...after all I've a rubbish history with women , I seem to attract the wrong sort. But Jackie and I established on the first trip I met her that neither of us has any interest in the other bar friendship.

To be honest I think she prefers the dogs to me she always spoils and makes a fuss of them which is why when she does what she's done today it bugs me as the dogs are confused why she's ignored them all day.

We don't owe each other anything bar civility , I generally leave her to do her own thing , what I don't like is this way she like pushes away then pulls you back ...I don't know how to explain it really . But it's almost like a game of keep you guessing and confused as to what she's doing , pleasing herself then when she does turn up and is OK you'll be grateful for the company and a bit of normality.

I think the youngsters have words for this ...gaslighting or neggin or something

Like I said I don't feckin know I just find it confusing , frustrating and manipulative at times.

But I don't have a great deal of friends in my auld age and I try to keep the ones I do have .... but feck sake it's meant to be a positive thing isn't it.

Anyway like I said maybe it is me. Maybe I'm reading too much in to it I don't know.

She's helped me out in the past ,in many ways and she's been a good friend a lot of the time too. But I can't think of anyway to communicate this or bring it up without causing upset etc.

When she buggered off in morroco 2 years ago it was after we'd had a minor disagreement about how much she was feeding a dog ...she went nuts at me for saying something, didn't speak to me the rest of the day or next morning and when I came back from walking the dogs shed gone.

And I then travelled around with the other 2 couples I met.


I sometimes think maybe folk we meet think were a couple or summit . .. I find folk seem to chat more to women than they do me lol.

But then I've usually got 4 rowdy dogs .


I very rarely meet other folk nowadays....sure I share a hello here n there in the passing but that's about it.

Feck knows

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 
bigtwin said:
No, but If I did, it wouldn’t include implied bad behaviour on his part.🤷‍♂️

Ian
Click to expand...
There's a few folk I knew when I said anything would automatically think it was my fault lol .

Charlie was one of them ....he doesn't like dogs so assumes everyone else doesn't lol.


But anyway as I said above maybe it is me 🤷‍♂️ I spend half the time thinking OK what have I said or done now lol.
 
Just wondering Tam, have you considered that she might be on here under a different name, and thinks you are blaming her for the dogs peeing in the van when excited?
Wouldn't do it myself but know folks who do, elsewhere not here.
 
Northernraider said:
There's a few folk I knew when I said anything would automatically think it was my fault lol .

Charlie was one of them ....he doesn't like dogs so assumes everyone else doesn't lol.


But anyway as I said above maybe it is me 🤷‍♂️ I spend half the time thinking OK what have I said or done now lol.
Click to expand...
Tam I didn't imply anything was all your fault, there are many things we sitting here don't know, it was just my view of the situation that you asked why she is like she is.
 
Tam, from a female perspective, I would leave her be, continue on your merry way at your own pace as you are meeting up with Garry soon to go over to Morocco (that wanted to autochange to Morrison’s :xlaugh: ) aren't you. We have had 'friends' in the past who dropped us as soon as a better option came along and I can't be doing with it, treading on eggshells all the time, I'm too old for all that sh1t and I don't have any mental health issues. BUT having had cancer this year I am now in the mindset of being selfish and doing what I want. I don't want to preach to you just offer my thoughts.
 
If you have a 'friend' like that and you never know where you stand just kick her into touch and move on with your life.
I know it's easy to say but second guessing forever more is not an enjoyable way to spend your time. You said you tend to dwell to the past a bit too much sometimes but take the opportunity now - remember to good things and find a future without whatever baggage she is carrying and letting it drag you down.

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 
scotzsue said:
Just wondering Tam, have you considered that she might be on here under a different name, and thinks you are blaming her for the dogs peeing in the van when excited?
Wouldn't do it myself but know folks who do, elsewhere not here.
Click to expand...
Nah she doesn't do Internet. Even her polarsteps is sparse.
 
Northernraider Just a personal observation , you seem to have a good grasp of your own personality /mental health , in view of that ask yourself , do you really need any negative inputs ? I know what my answer would be .
But then I am not you so I ask you to forgive my impertinence :)
 
Anyway I'm staying here again tonight it's nice here I'd have happily stayed longer but I need to go see the vet in algeciras tomorrow and get the dogs health certificate and then go to Port authority etc and once that's done I want to top up my lpg, stock up on dogfood and a few others bits and pieces and then go sort out my ticket with Carlos. I also need to dump and fill the van . Will need to download some offline maps for morroco too till I get my sim sorted overthere in assilah.. always nervous when I don't have phone etc as rely on it too much for everything really.
 
Northernraider said:
I've said it before but I'll say it again ...I don't understand women. Jackie is obviously in the huff about something again but I've no idea what. Her van was still all closed up this morning when u went for a walk with the dogs , we got back it's nice and sunny so I've been sitting outside and the dogs are outside too on their long leads , Jackie eventually came out her van , I said morning and got a half grunt in response. She completely blanked the dogs who were all desperate to say hello , that was 3 hours ago .. she's not said a word since , hasn't come near the dogs and has sat on the other side of her van away from us chatting to a British couple . 🤔

I can't be doing with this passive aggressive nonsense. And I am not the type to pander to this nonsense.

She's been acting weird the last few days. When we left sotogrande it was her thst suggested coming here. I got here the day before yesterday. She was meant to be coming and didn't, she decided to park on a roadside laybye between algeciras and here instead... which was only 10 minutes away. She then arrived here yesterday after garry left. Parked beside me and I've had hardly a word from her since 🤷‍♂️ . Still no idea what she's doing for morroco. When I'd asked her a few days ago about going to see that parade in cadiz she said maybe a friend was coming to malaga so she might go up there .. then the other day she said that wasn't happening probably, this is how she was 2 years ago too , and then I hung around waiting for her in assilsh for a week only for her to then bugger off a few days later and I never saw her again in Morocco. And didn't hear from her till 6 months later after mum died.

This isn't pleasant at all.

Its feckin weird behaviour

Poor dogs are sat here staring over wondering why she not come to see them like she usually does.

Feckin wimmen
Click to expand...
Can I pick you up on something please Tam. Women aren't all one type of being. It's fine for you to say you don't understand Jackie and that she's being weird but that's got nothing to do with her being a certain gender. Maybe you have done something to annoy her or maybe like you she suffers with mental health sometimes and it comes out in that way which isn't to say it's fair on you but maybe talk about it and ask her or just don't put up with it and call it quits with her. You do the same generalisation of people with their nationalities and it's a shame because you should know how very diverse we all are and we're all just humans bumbling along on this planet. So try not to focus on dividing people up by their gender etc and focus on exploring who they are and why they might be behaving in certain ways. Looking forward to more philosophical debates over a beer very soon! 😁
 
Helen Ariel said:
Can I pick you up on something please Tam. Women aren't all one type of being. It's fine for you to say you don't understand Jackie and that she's being weird but that's got nothing to do with her being a certain gender. Maybe you have done something to annoy her or maybe like you she suffers with mental health sometimes and it comes out in that way which isn't to say it's fair on you but maybe talk about it and ask her or just don't put up with it and call it quits with her. You do the same generalisation of people with their nationalities and it's a shame because you should know how very diverse we all are and we're all just humans bumbling along on this planet. So try not to focus on dividing people up by their gender etc and focus on exploring who they are and why they might be behaving in certain ways. Looking forward to more philosophical debates over a beer very soon! 😁
Click to expand...
Couldn't have put it better myself, one of my major regrets is not having enough vocabulary to express stuff like that without sounding hard. (y)
 
Helen Ariel said:
Can I pick you up on something please Tam. Women aren't all one type of being. It's fine for you to say you don't understand Jackie and that she's being weird but that's got nothing to do with her being a certain gender. Maybe you have done something to annoy her or maybe like you she suffers with mental health sometimes and it comes out in that way which isn't to say it's fair on you but maybe talk about it and ask her or just don't put up with it and call it quits with her. You do the same generalisation of people with their nationalities and it's a shame because you should know how very diverse we all are and we're all just humans bumbling along on this planet. So try not to focus on dividing people up by their gender etc and focus on exploring who they are and why they might be behaving in certain ways. Looking forward to more philosophical debates over a beer very soon! 😁
Click to expand...
Jackie isn't the first woman I've encountered ...I know that's hard to believe .

But I never understood any of the ones I was in relationships with either so like I said I'll never understand women.

It's a valid statement.

To be honest have a look around the world and you will find most men don't understand women and most women don't understand men either. We are like cats n dogs completely different.
 
Northernraider said:
Jackie isn't the first woman I've encountered ...I know that's hard to believe .

But I never understood any of the ones I was in relationships with either so like I said I'll never understand women.

It's a valid statement.

To be honest have a look around the world and you will find most men don't understand women and most women don't understand men either. We are like cats n dogs completely different.
Click to expand...
Maybe the women you have picked were difficult to understand. Still don't think that gender has anything to do with it. Do you claim to understand all the men you've met? I have many male friends and women too. They are all complex and unique and have different characteristics that don't fit into gendered groups. It's just not helpful categorising people's behaviour into gender groups. Maybe you could understand people better if you didn't try to understand them based on these labels and realised that it's the complex life experiences that they've had that makes them who they are not their DNA or what country they come from.
 
Helen Ariel said:
Maybe the women you have picked were difficult to understand. Still don't think that gender has anything to do with it. Do you claim to understand all the men you've met? I have many male friends and women too. They are all complex and unique and have different characteristics that don't fit into gendered groups. It's just not helpful categorising people's behaviour into gender groups. Maybe you could understand people better if you didn't try to understand them based on these labels and realised that it's the complex life experiences that they've had that makes them who they are not their DNA or what country they come from.
Click to expand...
Stereotypes exsist for a reason though . And whilst they may not fit every person they generally do fit a vast majority .

As a bi guy I can say that yes men fall in to many Stereotypes too. As do many gender fluid people.

That's not to say every person us the same because of their gender or Nationality but there are many many things that simply are the same.

I never said I understand all men either , I just said ill never understand women 🤷‍♂️

One example

The word fine

If a man says something is fine it usually is
If a woman says its fine then 99% of the time it's anything but fine 🤣🤣

Subscribers  do not see these advertisements

 

Join us or log in to post a reply.

To join in you must be a member of MotorhomeFun

Join MotorhomeFun

Join us, it quick and easy!

Join us

Log in

Already a member? Log in here.

Latest journal entries

Back
Top