Tam n pups winter trip 2022

[Grianan]

Thinking of you, your mum and your brother/sister, Tam. Been there with my Dad in 2017 - it’s tough but you will get through it.

 

[Chris]

Thinking of you Tam.

Best wishes to you and your family and look after yourself.

 

[Mikey RV]

Sorry to hear that Tam. Be strong mate for your mums sake. It will upset her if she sees you worrying. She is enjoying your travelling and properly very proud of you.

 

[Northernraider]

79/80 isn't a bad innings you say, damn, you have just given me 3/4 years left.
Stay strong Tam, like many on the forum l am thinking of you and your family.

I'm just comparing to my dad who died at 60 and my sister in law ( brothers wife ) who died at 54.

I know there are folk on here fighting fit in their 80's everyone is dealt a different hand as they say.

Last year I thought mum had another 15 years In her...in fact I thought that just a few months ago.

Never suspected any underlying issues. Sure she's had mobility issues for a while now but I never expected this , I think the reality and shock has just hit me. It also leaves my future a bit sketchy too which adds to my worries.

 

[StephandJohn]

So sorry Tam. News like that is always a shock so it's good to keep distracted while also being there for your mum and the family. Hope your new friend is supportive too.

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[Go_buddy_go_]

So sorry to hear your news.. sending

 

[corconx]

Hi Tam the news does not sound good, but it also sounds as if your mum had an inkling that things apps were not right for awhile. A good friend of mine has just lost her husband at 81, and it’s difficult to look back at when my parents died, and 82 and 92, aged 73 and 67. I can’t recall whether you’re the eldest son or your brother is, but it will fall no doubt to the three of you to sort out everything at the end. In the meantime, as everyone else has said, you must just keep going get on with your refurbishment, wait for the next scan and see how the land lies then.

It’s a shock that has hit you at the moment, you will have time to absorb the information and come to terms with it.

Sending good wishes for your mum and a great big hug to for you and your sister, and your brother when he hears.

Carol

 

[Jo662]

So sad to hear your bad news about your mum Tam.
She does sound mentally ready to fight what ever it is.
Good luck with better news from the next scan

 

[Freo]

So sorry to read this news and wishing the very best of outcomes for your Mum.

 

[Onemanandhisdog]

Well if that is shocking for us I can't begin to imagine how it has hit you.
I can only echo everyone else's best wishes and sentiments.

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[Barclaybasher]

Hi Tam
Sounds like your mum is facing up to whatever the next scan reveals. She doesn't want you to worry but you will - just try not to show it - that's what she wants.
All the best
Vic

 

[Stonemags76]

Sending a hug. One day at a time is all you can do. I’m sure your mum has felt it/known for a while, but like so many didn’t want to worry you. Take each day/step as it comes, & take comfort in your friends (including on here), your family and your dogs. Try to look after your mental health as best you can (I know you have a tendency to get down), & don’t look at doing this as selfish - it’s not.

 

[Northernraider]

Hi Tam the news does not sound good, but it also sounds as if your mum had an inkling that things apps were not right for awhile. A good friend of mine has just lost her husband at 81, and it’s difficult to look back at when my parents died, and 82 and 92, aged 73 and 67. I can’t recall whether you’re the eldest son or your brother is, but it will fall no doubt to the three of you to sort out everything at the end. In the meantime, as everyone else has said, you must just keep going get on with your refurbishment, wait for the next scan and see how the land lies then.

It’s a shock that has hit you at the moment, you will have time to absorb the information and come to terms with it.

Sending good wishes for your mum and a great big hug to for you and your sister, and your brother when he hears.

Carol

I'm the youngest , brother is the oldest , he unfortunately lost his wife to cancer about 10 years ago and it destroyed him so mum doesn't want him to know till there's more information. I on the other hand knew there was more to this and I know my sister is my mums power of attorney and she's medical background so she knows everything about my mums health so I told her I didn't want anything kept from me despite what mum says. I know mum thinks she's doing the right thing but I'd rather know and then I can process it and try to deal with it. If I went away and missed her last few months I'd feel guilty about that the rest of my life.


The next scan won't change anything it will just hopefully give a clearer diagnosis, type of cancer , stage its at and a rough idea how long she will have. She won't fight it with chemo etc, I think she just wants the best quality of life she can have for as long as she can. And if I'm honest I respect and support that. The hospital wanted to keep her in till the next scan but she declines rapidly in hospital so we rather she was home, and both my sister and I agree that will be our goal till the end , none of us want her in hospital or a hospice etc.

I've no doubt it will be difficult but I don't want her alone in a hospice either.

 

[Drum Major]

Stay strong

 

[Carol]

Tam so sorry to hear your bad news must have been quite a shock for you , sounds as if mum had already got an idea what was happening and decided how she wants to cope with it, it is a lot to process but you know everyone is here if you need to get things off your chest. I'm the same age as your mum and in her way she is protecting you and your siblings from prolonged trauma which she would have with evasive treatment she doesn't want with the same outcome in the end I can understand . Sending hugs.

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[mackeellan]

Hi Tam, just arrived home after leaving you a while ago and opened my computer to your sad news. My sympathies to you and your family, I know how it is first hand. Concentrate on the detail of the van to occupy your mind the best you can. Keep going mate, respectfully, Chris.

 

[CazPaul]

Worrying time for you Tam, hope you can process everything and deal with it if it is the worst news.

My mam, metastatic C all over her body, no treatment so I brought her home. Hope your mams diagnosis is better.

 

[Mr porky]

I'm sorry for your awful news. Sending best wishes.

 

[Langtoftlad]

Not good at saying the right things on these occasions so I'll just say "best wishes"

 

[csd4t]

Sorry to read your news Tam, been there, keep strong

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[Gina M]

I am so sorry Tam. You are going through exactly what I went through with my mum in 2017. My thoughts are with you at this most worrying time.

 

[Northernraider]

Worrying time for you Tam, hope you can process everything and deal with it if it is the worst news.

My mam, metastatic C all over her body, no treatment so I brought her home. Hope your mams diagnosis is better.

That's the word I couldn't remember

Metastatic, that's what's been said so far. Lung cancer with 2 other Metastatic, 1 in abdomen and 1 at base of spine.

The other scan we are waiting for will just give a clearer indication.

 

[Rollingwheels]

Hi Tam, just read your post, so sorry about the news with your mum, i know what you are going through at the moment, I lost my mum to lung cancer when I was twenty one, thirty six years ago now, it was a torrid time for all of us in the family and I understand the swirl of emotions that comes with it, you and your mum will undoubtedly be better off with you around, also the time that she has left to spend with you and the family will be very precious to you all when she is gone.
There isn’t much anyone can say really but if you need anything anytime just let me know, a chat when you are feeling lost can make it all a bit more bearable.

 

[scousebird]

So sorry to hear the news about your Mum, Tam. Sending lots of best wishes your way.

 

[paddymcc]

Oh Tam, I'm sorry. A big hug from me too.

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[scotzsue]

Can only re-iterate what everyone else is saying Tam, most mums do try to shield us from the worst. Stay near, but still get away when you can, nothing anyone can say or do, just be here for you, whether you need a rant or a hug, you are not alone.
Thinking of you all. Love and hugs and strength.

 

[angelad]

Your mum is a brave, wonderful woman. You've given sooo much to this forum, know we're all standing with you in our thoughts.

 

[poki]

So sorry to hear about your mum, thinking of you and your family .

 

[Figaro]

Sorry to hear your news Tam, it's always so difficult to deal with when parents become ill. You grow up believing they will always be there, but of course they won't be.
Hopefully the next scan will give you a clearer picture and as a family you can process it together.
Stay strong

 

[Riverbankannie]

It also leaves my future a bit sketchy too which adds to my worries.

You have wheels, you have your dream of a plot of land in the sun somewhere.
Hang on to those dreams whilst dealing with the present.

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