Tam, Jade and Franky's European Adventure

Another thing I like about this van that franky didn't have

Privacy curtain
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jumartoo said:
Nice one Tam.

How's your mum now?
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Sorry somehow I didn't get the alert for that comment till 16.20 which is weird

She's getting better slowly ...but it's 2 steps forward 1 step back constantly

She's still anemic ( spelling ) they pumped another 2 pints of blood in to her yesterday.

Still complaining of pain in knee and back :(

Infection is responding to the antibiotics but it's still 50/50 whether they will have to completely remove knee and replace the whole thing or not which would add recovery time on. As it is she won't get out of hospital till at least 16th November but if they have to do knee again it will be longer.

It's very much a just see how it goes sadly

And then we need to sort her mobility wjen she does get home but don't know the extent of that yet till we see how she is

She can walk a bit now though with the aid of a frame ...they trying to get her on 2 sticks but not got there yet
 
Northernraider said:
She's getting better slowly ...but it's 2 steps forward 1 step back constantly

She's still anemic ( spelling ) they pumped another 2 pints of blood in to her yesterday.

Still complaining of pain in knee and back :(

Infection is responding to the antibiotics but it's still 50/50 whether they will have to completely remove knee and replace the whole thing or not which would add recovery time on. As it is she won't get out of hospital till at least 16th November but if they have to do knee again it will be longer.

It's very much a just see how it goes sadly

And then we need to sort her mobility wjen she does get home but don't know the extent of that yet till we see how she is

She can walk a bit now though with the aid of a frame ...they trying to get her on 2 sticks but not got there yet
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Maybe a new knee would be a quicker recovery time. My mum was out in two days and she was in her eighties. BUT they can't do it if there's any infection anywhere.
 
jumartoo said:
Maybe a new knee would be a quicker recovery time. My mum was out in two days and she was in her eighties. BUT they can't do it if there's any infection anywhere.
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Yeah perhaps but still infection throughout her bones so if they do the new ones they need to remove it pack the bone with antibiotic cement and wait till that's clear before fitting knee and of course the nhs would rather keep cost down too.

The most infection is actually around her hip joint and in to her back.

They still don't know what caused the infection. That's why they constantly taking blood from her to check.

And of course then they have to replace it lol
 
Northernraider said:
Yeah if I was one for using sites and microwaves that's what id have put in there . Had also thought of a drinks cabinet buy don't drink much so will probably leave as is and just put books and dvds in there
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Seeing your name and the type of door maybe you could use the cupboard to store some of these ? :LOL:
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They will make a big difference to the internal temperature also when you are in chillier climates - yes, there are places even colder than Scotland! :eek:
 
Sorry, that was referring to the "privacy curtains ".
The van is looking really pukka now Tam.:)
 
Was along visiting mum last night. I think her mobility is getting worse instead of better
I had tears in my eyes watching her trying to get out of bed for the toilet.... she's not so bad once she's up on her feet but getting to her feet is a serious challenge because she also has a dodgy shoulder so trying to push herself up is really hard.

She's stubborn and she still doesn't ask for pain relief when she's meant to ...she can have it every hour if she wishes but she doesn't ask and suffers it ...And as a result except for the toilet she hasn t been out of bed this week whereas last week she was up with the physio and walking the corridor on her frame.
This is because she's in pain so doesn't want to move and as a result she's developing muscle wastage ...So last night despite her protests I spoke to the doctor and told him she was still in pain and not asking for the pain relief because she doesn't like taking the tablets ...she won't get better or get out if she doesn't take the pain relief and move about.

I hate seeing her like this and I'm worried about how she is going to manage.

I really do need to think about getting some work but not sure how I'm gonna do that as when and if she gets home she's not gonna manage on her own for a bit

I'm also annoyed with myself because I really want to go travelling again next year and I'm itching to get away but I feel selfish for considering it while she's like this.

Life is cruel at times


I'm generally quite a lucky person

I was lucky to get franky sold so quickly , I was lucky to get Toby for my budget and he's a brilliant van , I've my lovely wee dog who really does bring me so much happiness and fun and I love her to bits , even getting my old bike sold and getting a better one was really lucky.

But I can't help thinking I get all this luck one way and there is always some big dark bit of bad luck waiting to knock me down again and in this instance it's my mum's deteriorating health:(

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were just going through similar with my mil went into hospital becase she had wound up on the floor twice in two days getting from bed to comode, once in they didnt let her do anything and now she cant get up unaided .as she has come out of hospital with a infected hand from a blood test she has now got to have two carers to hoist here up 4 times a day and theyve made her wear pads despite her not being incontinent
getting old and infirm is not pleasant for them and just as hard for those round her
 
Tam. Don't waste energy worrying about about what might come. Cross the bridges when you come to them. Can you find some temp work while mum is in hospital, then revisit the situation when it changes?

As for more travel, I know you are itching to get away again but you're young and have plenty of time to do it and I think that it's really sweet of you to be thinking of your mum, there's many people out there that wouldn't be bothered.

All you can do is take each day as it comes. Encourage mum to take the painkillers and get her back on her feet. That will be a start.
 
Northernraider said:
Was along visiting mum last night. I think her mobility is getting worse instead of better
I had tears in my eyes watching her trying to get out of bed for the toilet.... she's not so bad once she's up on her feet but getting to her feet is a serious challenge because she also has a dodgy shoulder so trying to push herself up is really hard.

She's stubborn and she still doesn't ask for pain relief when she's meant to ...she can have it every hour if she wishes but she doesn't ask and suffers it ...And as a result except for the toilet she hasn t been out of bed this week whereas last week she was up with the physio and walking the corridor on her frame.
This is because she's in pain so doesn't want to move and as a result she's developing muscle wastage ...So last night despite her protests I spoke to the doctor and told him she was still in pain and not asking for the pain relief because she doesn't like taking the tablets ...she won't get better or get out if she doesn't take the pain relief and move about.

I hate seeing her like this and I'm worried about how she is going to manage.

I really do need to think about getting some work but not sure how I'm gonna do that as when and if she gets home she's not gonna manage on her own for a bit

I'm also annoyed with myself because I really want to go travelling again next year and I'm itching to get away but I feel selfish for considering it while she's like this.

Life is cruel at times


I'm generally quite a lucky person

I was lucky to get franky sold so quickly , I was lucky to get Toby for my budget and he's a brilliant van , I've my lovely wee dog who really does bring me so much happiness and fun and I love her to bits , even getting my old bike sold and getting a better one was really lucky.

But I can't help thinking I get all this luck one way and there is always some big dark bit of bad luck waiting to knock me down again and in this instance it's my mum's deteriorating health:(
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My Mother is 90 years old and in a similar position. She's mobile but only just and uses a Zimmer. She lives on her own. Like you I (and more especially my wife who spent a lot of her time looking after her Mother until her Mothers death) want to use my time to enjoy life and particularly my motorhome. I too feel guilty. However I'm 70 and my wife's 73. We don't know what tomorrow holds and anyway we'll be lucky to have 15 active years left. So I accept the assessment performed by the hospital staff as to the level of care required and arrange for that to happen. She has two visits per day - the first for an hour and the second for half an hour. Her house is adapted in terms of a wet room and downstairs toilet (a commode) and since the carers started coming she's happier and has more to talk about. I visit twice a week when I'm not touring but I've been away for 2 x 6 week trips this year plus three shorter breaks. I keep in touch by phone when we're away. If your Mother needs long-term help to live at home you have two choices: live with her and look after her which will make her more dependant on you and, as she ages, dependant on you for personal tasks that will make you both uncomfortable; or use outside agencies to provide care, visit as often as you can when not touring, but don't give up doing what you want to do.
 
Hey Tam, keep your chin up. I dont think you should be annoyed with yourself, after all you have a life too. Am sure your mum would not like you thinking that. I hope she will soon be up n fighting fit then she will be kicking your arse all the way down the road & back & then asking when are you getting out from under my feet.:D:D
 
Northernraider said:
Was along visiting mum last night. I think her mobility is getting worse instead of better
I had tears in my eyes watching her trying to get out of bed for the toilet.... she's not so bad once she's up on her feet but getting to her feet is a serious challenge because she also has a dodgy shoulder so trying to push herself up is really hard.

She's stubborn and she still doesn't ask for pain relief when she's meant to ...she can have it every hour if she wishes but she doesn't ask and suffers it ...And as a result except for the toilet she hasn t been out of bed this week whereas last week she was up with the physio and walking the corridor on her frame.
This is because she's in pain so doesn't want to move and as a result she's developing muscle wastage ...So last night despite her protests I spoke to the doctor and told him she was still in pain and not asking for the pain relief because she doesn't like taking the tablets ...she won't get better or get out if she doesn't take the pain relief and move about.

I hate seeing her like this and I'm worried about how she is going to manage.

I really do need to think about getting some work but not sure how I'm gonna do that as when and if she gets home she's not gonna manage on her own for a bit

I'm also annoyed with myself because I really want to go travelling again next year and I'm itching to get away but I feel selfish for considering it while she's like this.

Life is cruel at times


I'm generally quite a lucky person

I was lucky to get franky sold so quickly , I was lucky to get Toby for my budget and he's a brilliant van , I've my lovely wee dog who really does bring me so much happiness and fun and I love her to bits , even getting my old bike sold and getting a better one was really lucky.

But I can't help thinking I get all this luck one way and there is always some big dark bit of bad luck waiting to knock me down again and in this instance it's my mum's deteriorating health:(
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It's not easy seeing your parents like that. My dad (94) has had phases where he really struggled to get out of his chair and took ages over it. It's so nice at the moment as he seems to get up much easier.
We are in a very similar position to @tonyidle with carers going in 3 times a day. So far I have left him for up to 4 weeks at a time, if only because I'm the only person who cleans his shavers out properly - you won't have that problem with your mum though :)

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Tam really sorry to hear your mum is not doing to well, I know you won't understand when I say this but 74 really is not that old and when this is sorted out she maybe a bit slower in mobility but I'm sure she will be fine, do get her take the medication she is supposed to, I always say there comes a time why the hospitals have done what they can do, my MIL used to complain they can't do any more for me and I used to reply as I do to ourselves now it's not what they can do, but what you do for yourself and wether it's taking the right medicine or exercise it all helps, I really do hope she gets her independence back she looks such a nice lady . Please give her my regards from a fellow 74 year old.
 
We've got issues with my mother-in-law, who is only 75 but who has aged very rapidly in the last couple of years. The deterioration is both physical and mental - in particular, if she gets an infection of any kind, the mental deterioration really comes to the fore and she is away in a world which is 80% fantasy. She's in hospital at the moment. She's so up & down - one day she seems to be mostly with you, the next day she's telling you about the gunfight she was in this morning and how the staff let turkeys run round the wards - just two of this week's stories.

It's almost kinder when she is "out of it" - she's happy then, she has plenty of company and people to talk to and lots of exciting things going on - all imaginary. When she starts to be more lucid she realises some of the things that she's seeing & thinking aren't right and she starts to get scared about what is happening to her.

She's a 1 1/2 - 2 hour drive away, which doesn't make it any easier, that makes a visit with only an hour at the hospital take up 4-5 hours for my wife or me, which isn't easy with family life and work as well. We're up there generally twice a week which isn't as much as my wife would like. But, other relatives go in as well, there's someone calling in on most days, and there is a reality that if she's bad then 2 minutes after you've left she has no recollection of your visit.

I think the bit that is worst Tam is not knowing how she'll be. Last Christmas she was so bad we didn't think she'd see Easter - by May though she was fighting fit, back home with no carers and apart from the short term memory being a little suspect she was fine, she was 98% back to her old self and we all thought there's some more years left in her yet. Then within a week she can deteriorate, be as frail as anything and back in hospital. Old age looks a bit cr@p at this stage, it has to be said.

Despite all this, we have to look for the funny moments, to preserve our own sanity! One that sticks in the mind is when she was here last Christmas, she'd dozed off on the sofa, my wife was in the kitchen when she heard a distressed cry from the lounge - "Jennifer, I can see dancing penguins!!"

The kids were watching "Happy Feet" :D
 
Feltwell said:
We've got issues with my mother-in-law, who is only 75 but who has aged very rapidly in the last couple of years. The deterioration is both physical and mental - in particular, if she gets an infection of any kind, the mental deterioration really comes to the fore and she is away in a world which is 80% fantasy. She's in hospital at the moment. She's so up & down - one day she seems to be mostly with you, the next day she's telling you about the gunfight she was in this morning and how the staff let turkeys run round the wards - just two of this week's stories.

It's almost kinder when she is "out of it" - she's happy then, she has plenty of company and people to talk to and lots of exciting things going on - all imaginary. When she starts to be more lucid she realises some of the things that she's seeing & thinking aren't right and she starts to get scared about what is happening to her.

She's a 1 1/2 - 2 hour drive away, which doesn't make it any easier, that makes a visit with only an hour at the hospital take up 4-5 hours for my wife or me, which isn't easy with family life and work as well. We're up there generally twice a week which isn't as much as my wife would like. But, other relatives go in as well, there's someone calling in on most days, and there is a reality that if she's bad then 2 minutes after you've left she has no recollection of your visit.

I think the bit that is worst Tam is not knowing how she'll be. Last Christmas she was so bad we didn't think she'd see Easter - by May though she was fighting fit, back home with no carers and apart from the short term memory being a little suspect she was fine, she was 98% back to her old self and we all thought there's some more years left in her yet. Then within a week she can deteriorate, be as frail as anything and back in hospital. Old age looks a bit cr@p at this stage, it has to be said.

Despite all this, we have to look for the funny moments, to preserve our own sanity! One that sticks in the mind is when she was here last Christmas, she'd dozed off on the sofa, my wife was in the kitchen when she heard a distressed cry from the lounge - "Jennifer, I can see dancing penguins!!"

The kids were watching "Happy Feet" :D
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I gave a funny for the penguin bit

The rest I can imagine is heart breaking.
I lost my dad at 60 by a massive heart attack
I felt that was too soon..But in one way we didn't have to see him deteriorate.

It's just hard to believe that despite a few little problems she had this time last year where she had fell a couple of times etc.
She was still out walking dog couple of times a day. ..she was driving different places , could manage up and down the stairs etc pretty easy.

Obviously I've been away since new year but coming back she was already in hospital and seeing how she is at the minute it's hard to imagine she will ever get back to that.
 
It's almost impossible to say Tam. My grandmother went into hospital age 90 with circulation problems linked to diabetes, the latest in a long line of health issues. She ended up needing to have a leg amputated - the first week after the op didn't go well, we all thought that was it for her.

Within 8 weeks she was back in her own home, with carers coming in 3 times a day, and she carried on for another 4 years - and crucially, by & large, they were good ones. She was sharp as ever - too sharp in many ways! - her world became rather small and little things that she would have brushed away would get to her a bit, but overall her quality of life was still good.

I do know what you mean though, about not having to see someone deteriorate. That was the case with my father-in-law - aged 65, only 9 months into retirement, his death was both unexpected and very quick. He wouldn't have been the sort to cope well with a long-term disabling condition so it was the best way, albeit too young.

Will your Mum get back to how she was? You have to be realistic and it sounds like "No". But she can still have a good life, the key bit is accepting some help which I know is not easy. I'll give my grandmother her due - after my grandfather died she accepted every bit of help and gadgetry she could get to keep her independent in her own home. That made it so much easier both for her and for the family - for example, getting an alert button to wear on a chain round her neck, reassured her and the family that she could call for help at any time if it was needed - and a couple of times it was.
 
One point to consider Tam, in conjunction with family, is if it's appropriate to do some simple modifications to the house whilst she's in hospital that could help her when she gets out.

My mother-in-law is in the classic old person situation - still in the family home but now by herself, lived there since 1970, the house is immaculate but very little has changed in the last 40 years, it needs modernising and it's too big, it's not really suitable for her needs now but there's no way on earth that she'll move.

Whilst she was in hospital after Christmas, with full family agreement, I went in there and did some simple modifications - easily grippable handrails on both sides of the stairs, a handrail next to the loo and the bath, that kind of thing. We thought that in her case it would be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, and it was. She was a bit put out at first but rapidly accepted them and thanked us, and actually it's got her to think about some larger changes, such as replacing the bath with a shower.

Your mum sounds very houseproud and maybe a discussion is better, but if you can sell it to her it may get her thinking more about coming home - half the battle to getting well is mental - and it may make you feel better as well.

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