Tam & co the great winter escape

scotzsue said:
Do feel for you Northernraider not a good position to be in, can understand your mum, too she too is vying for your attention after you being away so long, not surprising she and the beautiful Ela clash. Not that that helps you any. Good luck and hugs whatever you decide.
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I agree about his Mum, she had all the work going on with the van before Tam went away and her looking after the dogs then when he came back the same again but with a strange untrained newcomer who doesn't know the house rules. Old people get very set in their ways and find it difficult to accept and deal with change and she's certainly had a fair bit to deal with. This is why I suggested Tam takes himself off for a short while to reassess.
 
Northernraider said:
Its not a case of expecting too much its a case of i cant physically give her the time required. There is no quick fix and i am not in a situation where i can force my mother to tolerate her. This isn't a decision ive made in the heat of the moment but when i am here in the uk i need to work and i need to stay here at mums. I currently have no transport. Im living in the caravan and relying on mum for a place to stay . I can't work on the vario because mum refuses to look after the dogs because she can't handle ela, i can't expect her to put up with the things ela is doing, we have been arguing for the last week and im on the verge of being told to leave. I can't simply go pick any motorhome and attempt to live in it fulltime anywhere in the uk .
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I'm not suggesting a permanent situation, just to give a bit of breathing space, you have already said you were considering another MH anyway. You said you will have funds available soon so that would allow you to not have to work at present so could do this and once Ela has spent time with just you and the other dogs things may calm down again, if not then you'll have a better idea of what to do. You can put money back in the piggy bank later but for now use it to reduce the stress on all of you as I fear if you rehome Ela now you could start to resent your Mum if you feel you were partly influenced for the wrong reason.

I'm not trying to convince you to keep Ela but simply encouraging you to reduce the other factors which seem to be causing you to get very stressed.
 
Val 3 dogs said:
Minxy
What you say is right Mel, but Tam can't just go swanning off, he needs to accumulate more money to support his lifestyle and tbe dogs
Remember also Tam is a comparitively new dog keeper and Ela won't be easy in anyone's book.
Let us all just support Tam and Ela in any way we can and trust him to make the right decision.
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I never said swanning off, please read my replies above.
 
Without wanting to badmouth my mum on here or go down a route of trying to untangle the mess that's happened up till now , my mum and i have always had a quite Rocky relationship , my sister and mum are the same because neither of us simply agree with her but instead have our own minds. My brother being the oldest has always just cowed down to mum and given in to her stubbornness and often manipulative behaviour.

Im aware that the situation isn't ideal , i appreciate its my mums house etc , she's houseproud and set in her ways. She's more than entitled to be that way in her own house etc. What i can't understand or tolerate is her telling me on one hand that myself and the dogs are welcome and how she hates to see animals mistreated , abandoned etc . But on the other hand she often acts like a petulant child and goes in the huff with me and and the dogs, if the dogs don't submit to being petted etc she talks to them like children sending them away etc.

With ela its one step further. She almost refuses to call her by her name , she calls her everything from horse, big yin , pest , interloper etc etc , if ela is not lying down like a statue she's constantly telling her to lie down , or saying what's she doing now etc etc , milo is her favourite because he will go up on her knee and lie there being cuddled. I've tried time and time again to explain that ela has a past we don't know about , she flick's from being good and coming when asked etc to looking at you like a complete stranger but it will take time , she says she understands this but 10 minutes later she's back to doing the same thing.

Ive to constantly tiptoe around on eggshells at times as does my sister. She seems to enjoy being miserable and negative and she's been that way since her spell in hospital a few years back.

So today im just staying in the caravan out the way with my dogs ,who are all relaxed and sleeping as usual.


If i could re-home mum id solve a lot of problems lol.
 
Northernraider said:
Honestly charlie comments like this are not helpful.


No one knows whether she was happy in greece where she constantly had to beg for food , had no vaccines , was in constant danger of being injured or killed etc.

And I'm not in the mood to argue about it.

At present its becoming a case of choosing ela or my elderly mother.

She isn't a bad dog she just needs more 1 on 1 than i can provide.

Im confident i can find her a loving home where she will thrive and be happy. Shes a lovely dog and everyone thats met her has thought so.

I don't regret rescuing her for 1 second. She will have a far better you. Hounds are not tte easiest breedr life than she when had fwould on a beach fending for herself.
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I feel for you. Hounds are not the easiest breed even when had from a puppy. One of our dogs though had from 6 weeks old was nearly 3 yrs before he grew up enough to understand what we needed from him. The most difficult dog we have ever had and we have owned a lot over 55 years and 45 years working with dogs on a daily basis.
Your life sounds extremely stressful. I'm sure there will be a perfect home for Ela with someone else who has time and experience.
I hope things work out for you very soon.

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I think we're getting to the crux of the problem Tam - your staying in the caravan with three happy relaxed dogs today has IMV proved your family group works fine, it's outside influences which are the issue.

You need to distance yourself from being at your Mum's as deep down I think you know that this isn't a tenable proposition for the long, or even short, term even without Ela. I totally understand how you are around your Mum, mine is even worse!

I know you have the dream of building your own camper but even those who have a permanent traditional home to live in struggle to do a build on a much lesser scale. You've already expressed doubts as to whether it will suit you anyway so serious thought is needed there but at present IMV you are not in the right frame of mind to decide on that, or other things at present ... please give yourself some breathing space however you can. 🫂
 
I hesitate to offer advice on any forum , and to someone I haven’t met, but I feel really sorry for your situation and could feel the stress pouring off you last night…. I’m glad today is more peaceful and calm. For what it’s worth though, i agree with Minxy. When you’re on your own with your dogs it works fine and Ela is making progress so I think you’d massively regret it if you gave her up…. So take that as your central frame and make other decisions round that… Sending virtual hugs and loads of support…
 
Tam Northernraider , apart from what I think about dogs, you say you have money, couldn't you buy or rent a small property in the wilds somewhere, and take all your dogs and vans there and work on your van in peace.
And fence a bit in where the dogs could run free.
If you have the money as you say you want to invest ,what could be a better investment while solving all your problems in one go?
 
chaser said:
Tam Northernraider , apart from what I think about dogs, you say you have money, couldn't you buy or rent a small property in the wilds somewhere, and take all your dogs and vans there and work on your van in peace.
And fence a bit in where the dogs could run free.
If you have the money as you say you want to invest ,what could be a better investment while solving all your problems in one go?
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What about this for starters?
<Broken link removed>

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IF you keep Ela, Tam, you may have to accept that she will never be trained to the level you hope for eg 100% recall. And that's OK as long as you're cool with it. Near us is a secure dog field that can be rented by the hour. Often used by trainers. If you can find something similar it would be relaxing to let all 3 dogs have some fun running and exploring.
 
chaser said:
Tam Northernraider , apart from what I think about dogs, you say you have money, couldn't you buy or rent a small property in the wilds somewhere, and take all your dogs and vans there and work on your van in peace.
And fence a bit in where the dogs could run free.
If you have the money as you say you want to invest ,what could be a better investment while solving all your problems in one go?
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Lol i have a bit of money charlie . But nowhere near enough to buy a property of any size outright these days. I don't have a regular fulltime job these days either so renting somewhere would soon eat in to the safety net i do have.

I could sell the vario and caravan and buy myself a motorhome again and just take myself off around the uk for a few months till ive another 90 days ti head back to europe

But im then spending money from my nestegg that i keep for a rainy day


I am however giving serious thought to doing the first half of that right now if i find myself a suitable motorhome with more space. I can then go back to working a few evenings to save some money to head off again next winter.
 
Northernraider said:
Lol i have a bit of money charlie . But nowhere near enough to buy a property of any size outright these days. I don't have a regular fulltime job these days either so renting somewhere would soon eat in to the safety net i do have.

I could sell the vario and caravan and buy myself a motorhome again and just take myself off around the uk for a few months till ive another 90 days ti head back to europe

But im then spending money from my nestegg that i keep for a rainy day


I am however giving serious thought to doing the first half of that right now if i find myself a suitable motorhome with more space. I can then go back to working a few evenings to save some money to head off again next winter.
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That seems like the best plan as for ela that one is for you to sort out
 
Northernraider said:
Lol i have a bit of money charlie . But nowhere near enough to buy a property of any size outright these days. I don't have a regular fulltime job these days either so renting somewhere would soon eat in to the safety net i do have.

I could sell the vario and caravan and buy myself a motorhome again and just take myself off around the uk for a few months till ive another 90 days ti head back to europe

But im then spending money from my nestegg that i keep for a rainy day


I am however giving serious thought to doing the first half of that right now if i find myself a suitable motorhome with more space. I can then go back to working a few evenings to save some money to head off again next winter.
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You won’t have to wait long to spend your nestegg then, rainy days are frequent in Scotland. :LOL::LOL:
 
Northernraider said:
But im then spending money from my nestegg that i keep for a rainy day
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Tam, I think the rainy day has arrived early. How about if you sell the vario and caravan, buy a decent van and get a job working on a campsite for the summer. Hopefully that way you'll be earning with little outgoings and you won't have to leave the dogs alone for hours at a time. Would this work for you?

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The Dudess said:
Tam, I think the rainy day has arrived early. How about if you sell the vario and caravan, buy a decent van and get a job working on a campsite for the summer. Hopefully that way you'll be earning with little outgoings and you won't have to leave the dogs alone for hours at a time. Would this work for you?
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I'd have thought he could earn way more doing the food deliveries?
 
The Dudess said:
Tam, I think the rainy day has arrived early. How about if you sell the vario and caravan, buy a decent van and get a job working on a campsite for the summer. Hopefully that way you'll be earning with little outgoings and you won't have to leave the dogs alone for hours at a time. Would this work for you?
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That was my original plan back in 2020 when i came back from Spain. And i didn't have much luck with campsites, started doing deliveries and covid struck.

It turned out to be the best turn of events ever as campsites were all closed and i made a fortune on deliveries.

Not sure how it would work nowadays though.

Im having a day or two of working things out in my head , i have someone who wants to take the vario as it is and for a price that would cover what ive spent so far not including my time .....but id be happy with that knowing they would do something good with it and it would give me a fairly hassle free "out"
so i just need to make sure in my head thats what i want to do .

It was a dream but one im not entirely sure i can achieve in the timescale required.

If i did that and found a good sized MH in my price range i would then have the freedom again to come and go as i pleased.

It wouldn't solve the problems with ela's training but im inclined to think id get on better with that without the added stress ,worry and trying to juggle my time.

Looking back except for a few issues , heating , bathroom space etc my hymer covered most of my wants and needs in a van.

Its just finding something that ticks all the boxes.
 
TM59 said:
My father always talked about the ‘rainy day’. Sadly he died and that rainy day never arrived. Live for today.
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I know and i keep telling myself i should do that ...but old habits die hard

Something else my mum planted in me lol

The what if!
 
Minxy said:
I never said swanning off, please read my replies above.
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Minxy, I am sorry if you took umbridge at my terminokogy, no offence or aspersions were intended.
Believe me I have read all your posts and have actually agreed with the majority of what you have said.
 
One Funny little story we were camping at Ile de Rae a few years ago, we got to talking to this older guy who had just about every boys toy you could think of, I admired his outfit and all his toys, he said well you see I've saved all my life for a rainy day and it's pissing down now.
Can't help but think it's got to be better to save for a rainy day but don't wait until your to old to really enjoy it.
 
Carol said:
One Funny little story we were camping at Ile de Rae a few years ago, we got to talking to this older guy who had just about every boys toy you could think of, I admired his outfit and all his toys, he said well you see I've saved all my life for a rainy day and it's pissing down now.
Can't help but think it's got to be better to save for a rainy day but don't wait until your to old to really enjoy it.
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Aye but im only 49 lol . There could be a lot of rainy days ahead.
 
EB66DB12-D485-4680-B211-1D6AE53CE805.png

It’s just a screenshot from eBay. May be of some interest. You will find it easy enough. Lots of batteries and solar.
 
I think if that hobby 700 i liked hadn't been sold id have been buying that.

There's another one on ebay but its the transverse bed over garage and its rhd

Im trying to decide if these are negotiable features.

Ideally id like my next van to he LHD if possible. Just for future proofing.


I prefer a lower bed ...but the garage space is handy

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TM59 said:
View attachment 603610
It’s just a screenshot from eBay. May be of some interest. You will find it easy enough. Lots of batteries and solar.
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Yeah ive seen that one . Like the frankia i was looking at though it means using the drop down bed or having to make one up. Im not really keen on either of those.

I like a fixed bed
 
Langtoftlad said:
Barmaid (am I allowed to still say that) at our club, dropped down dead last weekend... she was only 50...
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Aye i know , my dad died at 60 and my sister in law at 50. One of the deciding factors in me initially selling the house and going fulltime to travel etc.
 
Tam, just an observation regarding your possibly renting somewhere, particularly somewhere with a small bit of land.
Back in 2008, I found myself single and looking to rent just such a property.
At that time I had just started a small business in the Highlands. The recession certainly didn't help!.
Anywhere with a small piece of land to rent or buy required one to be in possession a fortune. It would have been cheaper to buy a farm and sell off what you didn't want.
Any rental properties mostly ended their "ads" with the words "No Pets".
For two years I searched throughout3 the Highlands, west and east coast, D'nG and the borders,
At that time I just had one small, quiet, well-behaved dog.
Any property with more than a pocket handkerchief garden was called a "small holding" if it didn't have a garden it was a "holiday let".
I even widened my sear back down to Wales but with similar results. Renting is definitely not the way foeward
 

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