Ian and helga go south !!

[ukbill]

Small cash is best,it takes longer lol

 

[tonyidle]

Well good morning,,,

I have been up for about half an hour now , and the clock here says 5.21 am....

As you can guess I didn't have a heavy night!!! In fact I had no night at all !!!

I made myself a dinner of jacket potatoe, chicken fillets in breadcrumbs, and good old Heinz baked beans, sat and ate it, it was thouroghly enjoyable, washed up pots and plates, made myself a lovely cuppa and sat down to relax and digest !!

Well, the next thing I know it's 1,30 am and I wake up to find that I caught too much sun while cleaning helga on my shoulder blades and lower back !! ( the kidney area to be precise) I didn't feel like I had been burnt when I had a shower but the captains chair I sit in by my table is lovely and comfortable but has a really quite hard wearing material covering it,, in fact at 1,30 this morning I could swear it was upholstered with grade 4 sandpaper!!!!!

Well I got to the bathroom, grabbed my johnsonns baby lotion ( yes ok!) and proceeded to smother my shoulder blades and sides in it, I swear it was boiling up as I applied!!

I then decided that I would try and get some sleep in a proper( such as it is) bed !!!

Got undressed and then proceeded to climb the ladder,,,, now about the ladder!!!!

I have had a previous run in with this ladder and I must admit, it's not my favourite bit of kit in helga,,,, I find that the small narrow steps can be uncomfortable to climb, in bare feet, I had the idea a week or so ago to clad the steps in a foam or similar!!

I cycled to the Chinese shoo, just up the road and had a look for some foam pipe laggin,, that would be perfect I thought at the time,, well I was amazed!!! It must have been the only thing the bloody shop didn't stock !!

Now being quite a practical bloke I was looking for a substitute and came across a foam tube that they use as a swimming aid,, in a rather fetching blue!! Bingo, that should do the trick, I was well pleased,, bought it, put it in rucksack and cycled back ( in fact I could have done a passable impression of a Manchester tram ).

I proceeded to measure the width of the steps and realised I could get 3 rings from the length of foam, lovely, first 3 steps will be fine ,,

So I cut to length, then split to the middle along 1 side,, got the duck tape out and proceeded to wrap tape around foam that was covering step , now the foam is completely around the step and the tape is completely around foam, ( in fact you can't see the foam at all) ,,

I took a step onto the ladder and my foot sunk into the foam and it was quite comfortable,, lovely I said to myself !!

So now I have a ladder with the second and third step covered in this so called padding, it was such a pain to hold the ladder and try to tape stuff on, I only did the second and third step, ( I don't bother treading on the first one) ,

So back to this morning,,,

I git undressed, applied more cream and proceeded to climb into bed,

Got on ladder( second step) and lifted myself up, put foot on third step as I leant foreward to collapse into a nice warm bed,,and my foot slipped off the rung of ladder and I slip down to second rung, no injuries , that's ok I said, a bit shocked( it was like stepping off a kerb you havnt seen! ) well bugger me if the second rung foam didn't start turning round the step , slowly, and I had all my weight on the one leg!! It turned completely and my foot slipped down to the bottom rung wich is only a thin piece of wood,

My other leg then caught up with my brain and I tried to put it on the second stap,, well that too made the foam twist and I shit to the floor rattling my shin against bottom step,, Agony for 10 secs!!

When I thought about it, I realised I had covered the step completely in the round foam thingy and taped the foam together only,, none of the tape was stuck to a fixed point, and over the past week it must have stretched a bit!!

Anyway, bruised shin, sunburn, no night out, and not much sleep sees me posting this at this rediculous time of the morning !!

But at least I have no hangover!!! Have a good morning,, chat later. Xxxxx

You don't look short enough to need a ladder? Mine's in the loft at home & so far it hasn't escaped or attacked me .

 

[ianthebuilder]

Good afternoon!!!

I am sitting on an aire just off the motorway in francais!! Woooooo

Been in France about half an hour, no border control, straight through!!! Should have bought those 3,000 fags!!!

Did the toll roads to here and the cost of tolls to get from tarragona( well just before it) to France was 48 euros!!! But journey was easy, quick and clear!!

Now on my first toll road in France, or rather piage,,,, so I will see how much this costs when I get off!!!

On this motorway I have passed half a dozen signposted Aires already!!! I'm amazed!!! There's showers on here and everything!!!

Anyway I will get to carcass on in an hour or so then I will post again,, lovely weather here but very windy!!! And to be honest I didn't even notice a hill between Spain and France at all !!!

So have a lovely afternoon and I will see you later!! Xxx.

 

[Langtoftlad]

Lots of warnings by experienced posters not to overnight on these motorway Aires for safety reasons.

 

[gus-lopez]

Credit card is king here, in , out , off you go, that's unless you have to argue the toss of what class you are.

Agreed.
Credit card every time.............as long as you don't drop it.

That 's until you put the cards in & get the voice telling you
" Zee card machine it does not function , do you have cash ? "
If it can go wrong it'll do it to me.

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[busby]

If I am in my car I don't pull up behind a foreign registered mh or car & caravan especially if it is right hand drive as you can normally guess what will happen.
ticket will get put in wrong way/dropped, or the money/credit card gets dropped & they are so tight to machine they can't open door to pick up. Then they can't move forward /backward due to vehicles/barrier. Or have no idea so driver has to get out & walk around . Or no moneys ready when ticket goes in.
Or engine has to be turned off as they can't hear the person on the other end of the help button.The list is endless that I've seen & sat behind so anyone doing it, including me, when you know what is more than likely to happen deserves it.

P.s. Same at the airport ticket barrier. Rhdrive , don't get behind.

We have all had to learn....we were naive and useless when we first encountered toll booths abroad,,,was helped out a time or two by kindly soles....BUSBY... I find The Spanish the slowest now,,,they never have the money ready but hey we are retired and not in a hurry,,,

 

[busby]

Good afternoon!!!

I am sitting on an aire just off the motorway in francais!! Woooooo

Been in France about half an hour, no border control, straight through!!! Should have bought those 3,000 fags!!!

Did the toll roads to here and the cost of tolls to get from tarragona( well just before it) to France was 48 euros!!! But journey was easy, quick and clear!!

Now on my first toll road in France, or rather piage,,,, so I will see how much this costs when I get off!!!

On this motorway I have passed half a dozen signposted Aires already!!! I'm amazed!!! There's showers on here and everything!!!

Anyway I will get to carcass on in an hour or so then I will post again,, lovely weather here but very windy!!! And to be honest I didn't even notice a hill between Spain and France at all !!!

So have a lovely afternoon and I will see you later!! Xxx.

The Customs in France are not just on the borders,,we got pulled at the toll booths on The Millau Bridge a few years ago,,,,luck would have it no baccy on board...

 

[busby]

Good afternoon!!!

I am sitting on an aire just off the motorway in francais!! Woooooo

Been in France about half an hour, no border control, straight through!!! Should have bought those 3,000 fags!!!

Did the toll roads to here and the cost of tolls to get from tarragona( well just before it) to France was 48 euros!!! But journey was easy, quick and clear!!

Now on my first toll road in France, or rather piage,,,, so I will see how much this costs when I get off!!!

On this motorway I have passed half a dozen signposted Aires already!!! I'm amazed!!! There's showers on here and everything!!!

Anyway I will get to carcass on in an hour or so then I will post again,, lovely weather here but very windy!!! And to be honest I didn't even notice a hill between Spain and France at all !!!

So have a lovely afternoon and I will see you later!! Xxx.

Dont confuse Motorway Aires with village aires Ian,,,BUSBY.

 

[ukbill]

Stayed on motorway aires with no problem bloody doom and gloom stories,get in with the trucks(not a refidgerated 1)and enjoy.remember by taking the tolls you missed all the white chair girls,although last 1 I visited with salopian aka steve,she refused his card lol

 

[busby]

Stayed on motorway aires with no problem bloody doom and gloom stories,get in with the trucks(not a refidgerated 1)and enjoy.remember by taking the tolls you missed all the white chair girls,although last 1 I visited with salopian aka steve,she refused his card lol

One and only time i had a break in was on motorway aire in Spain,,,was tugging then and they broke into the car,,,Don't worry in Motorhome as deadlocks on all doors,,,Busby.

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[ukbill]

doom and gloom

 

[wingman]

Ian.
You'll see lots of 'Aire' signs as you travel along the motorways, but don't confuse these with the type you want.

Aire, literally means 'Area', so Aire de Service is a Service area, Aire de Jeux is a games area etc. It's not an Aire as we know it. On Aire sign, always look for the Camping Car bit at the end, as in, Aires de service - Camping Cars or Stationnement Camping Car for parking. Alternatively, look for the blue Motorhome sign set over a dump grating.

 

[ianthebuilder]

Well all tolls done. In total today about 75 euros paid!!!!

I am sitting on my first site in France and its beautiful!!! I have helgas bum backing onto a lovely lake full of ducks and birds,, and frogs !! ( no shortage of food here) lol. The picture I'm sure doesn't do it justice!!! But here it is,, I am in carcasson and hopefully tomorrow when I pick my site on sat nav I can put in no tolls !!

Chat soon,,,, xxxxxx

 

[Xabia]

You really don't want to miss a wander around the fortified old castle area in Carcassonne Ian. It's really is very, very impressive. Have a look on the web and you will see what I mean.

Mike

 

[ianthebuilder]

I have had a look at it mate!! Online I mean!! I won't be visiting this time due to me wanting to get up north,, but just driving today tells me that on my way back to Spain, I won't be going direct from uk,, I think it would be a crime not to spend a couple of weeks driving through France, seeing what's about!!!

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[appydaze]

That 's until you put the cards in & get the voice telling you
" Zee card machine it does not function , do you have cash ? "
If it can go wrong it'll do it to me.

If all else fails and you are without either cash or the right card, you can piggy back behind another motorhome or lorry....... just keep close behind...the barrier will not come down.... naughty but nice...... only in an emergency of course.... and of course only on unmanned barriers..

 

[gus-lopez]

We have all had to learn....we were naive and useless when we first encountered toll booths abroad,,,was helped out a time or two by kindly soles....BUSBY... I find The Spanish the slowest now,,,they never have the money ready but hey we are retired and not in a hurry,,,

Yes we've all done most of them so I try to avoid getting behind myself.

The Customs in France are not just on the borders,,we got pulled at the toll booths on The Millau Bridge a few years ago,,,,luck would have it no baccy on board...

Yes I always find it amazing that they can hang around at toll booths but can never catch any of the thieves when someone has been robbed on a toll road ?

Stayed on motorway aires with no problem bloody doom and gloom stories,get in with the trucks(not a refidgerated 1)and enjoy.remember by taking the tolls you missed all the white chair girls,although last 1 I visited with salopian aka steve,she refused his card lol

I use them all but mainly the ones on the N roads with the trucks.

 

[chaser]

You really don't want to miss a wander around the fortified old castle area in Carcassonne Ian. It's really is very, very impressive. Have a look on the web and you will see what I mean.

Mike

If you havnt paid , there's supposed to be a good aire in the middle of Carcassonne, you could kill two birds with one stone, check out an aire and see the middle of a French town

 

[jumartoo]

Yes we've all done most of them so I try to avoid getting behind myself.


Yes I always find it amazing that they can hang around at toll booths but can never catch any of the thieves when someone has been robbed on a toll road ?


I use them all but mainly the ones on the N roads with the trucks.

I presume you mean the Aires!!!

 

[ianthebuilder]

Right. I have just tried to let you know what I'm thinking in a little video !!! Lol. Enjoy or not? It's just what I was thinking a while ago but it's taking so long to load!!! In fact I don't know if it will !!

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[Scout]

Right. I have just tried to let you know what I'm thinking in a little video !!! Lol. Enjoy or not? It's just what I was thinking a while ago but it's taking so long to load!!! In fact I don't know if it will !!

just toput you out of your misery, it hasnt loaded, yet.

 

[ianthebuilder]

I don't know how to load it !!

I have been doing the choose file, upload a video,, it compresses it but won't send? What do I do????

 

[Scout]

I don't know how to load it !!

I have been doing the choose file, upload a video,, it compresses it but won't send? What do I do????

your in France, go and find some oh la la

 

[Ambilkate]

I don't know how to load it !!

I have been doing the choose file, upload a video,, it compresses it but won't send? What do I do????

I could never get a video to load onto Fun like that Ian had to open an account on utube upload to there then put the link on here. See if you recognise this funster



Ps shhhh dont tell Malc ive put it on your thread

 

[gus-lopez]

I presume you mean the Aires!!!

Yes.

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[MR. FUSION]

your in France, go and find some oh la la

Plenty of oh la la In an old van on the roadside

 

[ianthebuilder]

Well I don't do Facebook !! Is there anyone on here o could send it too,, then you can watch it and if you think it's worth posting they can!! Any volunteers???? Xx

 

[ianthebuilder]

I've just seen that I can send it by text,and wassap. So if anyone don't mind I can send??

 

[ianthebuilder]

Great,now I'm having trouble with my phone! So posting from tablet!

I'm sitting here in carcassonne and it's hammering down,,bloody typical!
First day in France and it's raining, BEGINNING TO THINK I SHOULDN'T GO HOME, lol

 

[Anthea M]

We had the worst storm in France at Carcasonne it was running down the hill near the aire it was like a river and one man lost his flip flops! The castle is worth a look!

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