I Have Never Ever...

[Chris]

I have never properly finished a task.

My wife calls me “half a job Chris”

She does have a point.

 

[chaser]

I have never ever

Been to Benidorm and although we both really love watching “bargain loving Brits” for a belly laugh, never will.
Nope.
Those campsites look like tarp covered refugee camps . As for the night life tribute acts , Brits abroad, English food fest, worse night mare.
Living the dream ……..

Not.
Good job we’re all different.

If you have never been, how do you know?
What you see on the TV is not benidorm, ok there are bars and stuff but also marvelous beaches, proper restaurants ,sun ,sea, and mainly fun in the sun, in the old town you could be hundreds of miles away from what you see on the Tele.

 

[Ralph-n-Bev]

Maybe but then again there’s lots of lovely “old towns” well away from it.
We’ve never liked cities, preferring villages anyway.

 

[chaser]

Maybe but then again there’s lots of lovely “old towns” well away from it.
We’ve never liked cities, preferring villages anyway.

That's not my point though, we prefer villages also, but you can't just knock benidorm by what you see on the TV, there is something for everyone all in the one place.
We have only been once and probably won't go again but there are also loads of places we won't go again, but we have actually seen it to judge.

 

[Ralph-n-Bev]

Good job we’re all different (we’d not even bother going) or it’d be even more rammed then

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[Cat53]

We must beg to differ.
The scene in which McIntyre describes his visit to the dentist for an extraction that went wrong, is comedy legend.

Oh that made me laugh. I had two wisdom teeth removed at the London Dental Hospital. Took the tube home gawked at by a small child as I sat there with blood dribbling down my numb chin.

 

[Tony50]

If you have never been, how do you know?
What you see on the TV is not benidorm, ok there are bars and stuff but also marvelous beaches, proper restaurants ,sun ,sea, and mainly fun in the sun, in the old town you could be hundreds of miles away from what you see on the Tele.

Lovely beach , cheap beer, plenty of food places, but, one day is enough for us, as they say down the road at Abir campsite, British go to Benidorm, Dutch and Germans come here !!

 

[chaser]

Lovely beach , cheap beer, plenty of food places, but, one day is enough for us, as they say down the road at Abir campsite, British go to Benidorm, Dutch and Germans come here !!

Yeah but you have been,so can judge

 

[Tony50]

Yeah but you have been,so can judge

O' I forgot we stayed in the seafront hotel in Levant area called Hotel Nadal, years ago the one Etta blew up 2 years before we were there !!

 

[Langtoftlad]

can't just knock benidorm by what you see on the TV, there is something for everyone all in the one plac

That's probably true, and I'd probably enjoy visiting, trouble is there are too many destinations higher up the priority list.

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[Coastal Cruiser.]

I have never properly finished a task.

My wife calls me “half a job Chris”

She does have a point.

As they say, better to have tried and failed then not tried at all

 

[JJ]

I have never ever

Used winter tyres or

Snow chains or

Lithium habitation batteries or

My awning.

I have never

Picked up dog poo

Been to a ballet (other than the one on ice)

Shopped at Harrods

Used an Air BNB

Flown a plane

Done any ballroom dancing

TBC

JJ

 

[Viennese]

My favourite MM sketch is this one

or this one

 

[Brains]

Nearly all of the 'I have never ....' listed items above I've done or been there.

I have never....

Been to the same school for more than 3 years
Sat an exam
Owned a motorbike
Built a house from scratch
Bungee jumped or Parachuted
Flown in a balloon, microlight or hang glider
Fired a machine gun
Knowingly eaten dog, donkey, whale or tripe.
Watched any soap on TV.
Been to Russia, Central Asian Republics, Mongolia, Thailand, Japan, Bali or New Zealand

 

[Phill D]

I have never
used the term
“I reached out “ instead by of “I contacted”!

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[bobnick]

I have never said

"Can i get" to obtain something.

 

[jockaneezer]

I have never said "Hi, I'm Jock and my pronouns are.......!"

 

[yodeli]

My favourite MM sketch is this one

or this one

OMG Cat! I didn't laugh for days believe me until I've listen to that! Thank you so much ; I couldn't even swallow my salive, I started to cough dribbled all over the place! Terrible, but oh gosh what a laugh!!!

 

[ctc]

Watched any "reality" television. Yes, but only Strictly. None of that jungle or island stupidity

Seen the Sound Of Music. Many times. Excellent musical.

Knowingly heard any Ed Sheeran song. Is he that ugly ginger bloke? Never listened to him that I am aware of, but that is because there hasn't been any decent music written since about 1989

Had an "habitation" check. Several

Watched any Star Wars films. All of them. Good films

Laughed at any content produced by Michael MacIntyre. One of the funniest comedians around. Has me crying with laughter.

Been kissed by Hayley Mills or Joanna Lumley. Obviously not.

Had a motorhome weighed. Twice

Been moved on by the police when parked up somewhere. Me neither, but I never park anywhere where I shouldn't

Had a bad Fray Bentos pie. Commercially made pie? Yuck. God knows what is in it. I make my own, every time.

Covered my van tyres. No, me neither.

1969

 

[Mohawk Mo]

This lady did the voice as well as the look, we did a gig at the Brewery EC1, and her role was to wander around the guests being Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous, whilst the guests were eating, we (the band) and her were in the Green room, (the artists bar) and she stayed in character the whole time, for some reason she took a shine to me, she had us all crying with laughter, it was one of the most fun gigs i've ever done, they had booked Jack Dee to compare the event and for some reason he had pulled out at the last minute, so the organisers managed to get a life size cardboard cut out of him and put it on stage, and the stand in compare took the mickey out of him all night. One to remember

My Sister and I used to work at The Brewery, EC1 had some great functions there and a great staff bar! Staff could volunteer for the beer tasting and we used to get a choice of free alcohol at the end of every month which you could save and take it all at Christmas. We used to fill the car!Happy days

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[JJ]

My Sister and I used to work at The Brewery, EC1 had some great functions there...

In an earlier life, I too had some great nights working at the Brewery...

I never had a bad night there...

I never had a bad night working the Luton Sports and Social Club.

I have never been stopped for speeding in a motorhome.

I have never been arrested for anything.

I have never finished a street show and ended up with an empty hat.

TBC


JJ

 

[dunnah01]

I have never broken any bones

I have never claimed on insurance

I have never ski'd

I have never used a tradesperson

 

[Littlewheels]

Had a bad Fray Bentos pie.

You can’t have had one lately JJ they have gone to pot absolute rubbish to the point of being inedible, like many on MHF they were emergency food for us, two tins one each,tin of boiled Potatoes and a tin of Peas and Carrots easy peasy but not anymore sadly.

 

[Tony50]

My Sister and I used to work at The Brewery, EC1 had some great functions there and a great staff bar! Staff could volunteer for the beer tasting and we used to get a choice of free alcohol at the end of every month which you could save and take it all at Christmas. We used to fill the car!Happy days

Great business to work for, the free Boardroom bar was open at Lunchtime for Managers and Directors, luckily I had my own office attached to my workshop, which was handy when I occasionally dropped off .