Ten Ways to Ruin a CL Owner’s Day – Please Don’t Be That Camper

[Jim]

It's rare to find someone who runs a CL for the money. It just doesn’t stack up when you weigh it against the on-costs, the time, the effort. Most do it because they enjoy it. They like meeting people, swapping stories. I happily lose hours chatting with campers; I really enjoy it,

But, and it’s a big but, there are a few things that can really ruin a CL owner's day – so here’s a little list for you. Nothing outrageous, just common sense and a bit of courtesy. For me and other CL owners. Please take heed..

1. Dogs not on leads.
   If the site says dogs must be on a lead, just do it. I hate to be the one to break it to you — Your dog is not special!
2. Letting your dog crap on the camping field.
   Come on. You can’t pick it all up off grass properly, and someone’s going to be pitching there tomorrow. Not nice. Take your pooch off-site for poos.
3. Using campsite bins for your personal garage and locker clear-out .
   Filling site bins to the brim with your old crap. So you bought some new training shoes or a new leisure battery. Great, but take the old ones home and dump them in your bins!
4. Not showing up.
   A special place in hell is reserved for no-shows, when there, I hope Satan buggers you for eternity.
5. Leaving the Elsan in a right state.
   If you make a mess, clean it up. No one wants to find that waiting for them.
6. Using wet-wipes .
   Seriously. They don’t break down, they wreck our sewage system pumps, people know they are bad for cesspits, the sewer, and the environment, yet they still use them!
7. Arriving early.
   Bugger off – we need that time when we know no one’s arriving to get things done.
8. Arriving really late.
   Sort yourself out!
9. Turning up on spec.
   No. It’s a home, not a hotel. Have the courtesy to book ahead – we don’t sit around all day on the off chance you might show up.
10. Block-booking busy periods then not showing.
    You selfish, inconsiderate bastard. Don't forget about it and book a visit next year because we don't forget. And once you arrive, you'll find there's no pitch for you.

 

[funflair]

Really nobody should need to be told any of that, ah common sense is out of the window

 

[Minxy]

You forgot about telling people that eggs aren't included in the price!

 

[AJM2]

Really nobody should need to be told any of that, ah common sense is out of the window

Common sense and basic common courtesy. I wouldn’t want to be camping with anyone offended by any of those ‘rules’.

 

[Gary S]

All noted for my visit to Jasmin Camping, week after next!

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[Whippet93]

You forgot about telling people that eggs aren't included in the price!

Depends where you go. We've visited one four or five times and got 6 eggs each time, apart from the last, but he charged £5 less for the pitch so no complaint.

 

[dna]

From running the B&B we had similar experiences and really wanted to add "rules" such as

Men - you are old enough to be able to aim straight at the toilet, if you can't then sit down!
if you do miss then have the courtesy to try and clean up after yourself

Ladies - please don't use the pillow cases or the towels to remove make up

Asking to check into a room at 10am when the previous guest doesn't have to check out until 10:30 wont be successful. Nor can we clean and reset a room in 2 minutes

Booking the cheapest possible option and "forgetting" to declare all the people for each room will result in additional charges

Trying to check in with children will be refused as its an Adults only property (even if you say you didnt notice the reservation system wont allow anything other than 0 children to be included)

Small dogs are still dogs. No dogs includes small dogs.

No shows will be charged if we can


Conversely we did have lots of lovely guests who treated everything with respect.
One lady who had just had her hair coloured brought her own pillow case to catch any stains
One guest who was ill overnight insisted on cleaning the bathroom himself and wouldn't let us do it
Another who broke a corkscrew in our honesty bar, replaced it with one they went out and bought
Quite a few guests left the rooms so tidy that it was tempting not to even change the bed for the next guest (but we never did this honest!)

 

[PaulW2]

I hope Satan buggers you for eternity.

I think you may find there's a market for that

 

[Gaston aires]

I think you may find there's a market for that

Happens all the time in Heironimus Bosch paintings.
Phil

 

[Purrfecttune]

I totally agree with all of those rules and similar to one of Jim’s:

It really winds me up when people reserve a restaurant table and don’t bother to cancel when they change their minds or know they can’t make it (for any reason)

Totally selfish and causes a direct loss of revenue for the establishment in question. That is why I have no problem paying a deposit if asked.

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[The Wino]

It's dealing with the public most nice polite and helpful people others a right pain. We had years of it running our optometry buisness people eligible for an NHS test but repeatedly not turning up in the end we had a policy that after the second you pay in advance for a private appointment and get a refund if you turn up at the stated time it had the desired effect quite a few went somewhere else!
We now run a holiday let dogs are allowed downstairs ( hard flooring) but not upstairs the first let after re carpeting someone let their dog upstairs and guess what happened on the carpet they didn't tell us the cleaners did. They had booked several weeks as they were waiting to complete on a house purchase and probably found it pretty difficult to find somewhere else when we told them they were no longer welcome.
I blame the old saying that the customer is always right they are unless they're wrong!

 

[Tiger Bear]

I totally agree with all of those rules and similar to one of Jim’s:

It really winds me up when people reserve a restaurant table and don’t bother to cancel when they change their minds or know they can’t make it (for any reason)

Totally selfish and causes a direct loss of revenue for the establishment in question. That is why I have no problem paying a deposit if asked.

I seem to recall that more and more establishments requested a deposit during the pandemic, but some no longer do so. Like you, I think it's entirely reasonable for a deposit to be charged, and forfeited for no shows.

 

[Tiger Bear]

You forgot about telling people that eggs aren't included in the price!

Ooh, have you got hens, Jim ?
Any new layers? I likes me a double yolker I do

 

[Jim]

Ooh, have you got hens, Jim ?
Any new layers? I likes me a double yolker I do

No, we've not had hens for almost two years. Bloody bird flu housing orders are stopping me getting any more. Chickens need to be out, its cruel to keep them locked up

 

[Dorwyn]

What about grumpy camp site owners? Admittedly they are quite rare&

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[meanders]

Felt awful this morning as had an appointment at the opticians. Left home in plenty of time. Three possible routes into town, all three have roadworks as well planned as we knew. The one I chose today has two sets of roadworks only 100yards or so apart. Were the lights linked? Were they hell. It was carnage in the bit between the works and people kept going in from both ends despite being nowhere visible left to join the queue. Net result I was 25 minutes late. They were fine about it, but quite expected to be told I had missed my slot and would have to come back. Felt awful though for being late.

I totally agree with Jim. I would add "Don't pick the plums unless invited" though as someone did when we were there. Sian was polite but clearly not happy about it.

 

[TheMobileWanderer]

We had a policy that after the second you pay in advance for a private appointment and get a refund if you turn up at the stated time it had the desired effect quite a few went somewhere else!

That's fundamentally the suggestion I gave my GP. FREE at the point of need. If people don't turn up that means they didn't need. So it shouldn't be free.

I agree with the OP and funflair's post.

Tight T&Cs are your friend, Jim. They won't deter the decent ones whilst it will reduce costs incurred from others.

My 2p

 

[Ingwe]

A special place in hell is reserved for no-shows, when there, I hope Satan buggers you for eternity.

If you thought you were busy before………….

 

[Tiger Bear]

I totally agree with Jim. I would add "Don't pick the plums unless invited" though as someone did when we were there. Sian was polite but clearly not happy about it.

I should think so too! Our lass wouldn't be happy either if others helped themselves to my plums!

 

[barryd]

The only one I am occasionally guilty of is turning up early once are twice (before midday) and that was having asked first as we were just down the road. Most of the CL sites we use regularly we know the owners well.

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[meanders]

When we were there Jim said to help ourselves but to leave some on the trees. I was happy to pay for a pound or so but his lordship refused as I remember.

 

[Just smiffy]

No, we've not had hens for almost two years. Bloody bird flu housing orders are stopping me getting any more. Chickens need to be out, its cruel to keep them locked up

Can we cook pidgeon pie….

 

[Bramidan]

No problem with all those suggestions apart from turning up on spec. That’s what a lot of people do, they are touring.
Having said that because I hate the thought of having to camp at the side of a road or in a lay by I always e mail and give them our expected date, to check they are actually open.
I guess you could always make it clear you only cater for pre booked stays. Problem solved for both parties.

 

[Mikey RV]

All them points on that list Jim, also apply to campsites but are ten fold because more people on them.

 

[nicholsong]

Happens all the time in Heironimus Bosch paintings.
Phil

Disappointed - I was waiting to see what the Philme...... signature would be

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[Dolmen]

Crikey, a masterclass in guest relations

 

[Minxy]

I totally agree with @Jim. I would add "Don't pick the plums unless invited" though as someone did when we were there. Sian was polite but clearly not happy about it.

I'd hate to be the person who nicks your olives... I hear Sian is a member of the Welsh mafia!

 

[Gromett]

It's rare to find someone who runs a CL for the money. It just doesn’t stack up when you weigh it against the on-costs, the time, the effort. Most do it because they enjoy it. They like meeting people, swapping stories. I happily lose hours chatting with campers; I really enjoy it,

But, and it’s a big but, there are a few things that can really ruin a CL owner's day – so here’s a little list for you. Nothing outrageous, just common sense and a bit of courtesy. For me and other CL owners. Please take heed..

1. Dogs not on leads.
   If the site says dogs must be on a lead, just do it. I hate to be the one to break it to you — Your dog is not special!
2. Letting your dog crap on the camping field.
   Come on. You can’t pick it all up off grass properly, and someone’s going to be pitching there tomorrow. Not nice. Take your pooch off-site for poos.
3. Using campsite bins for your personal garage and locker clear-out .
   Filling site bins to the brim with your old crap. So you bought some new training shoes or a new leisure battery. Great, but take the old ones home and dump them in your bins!
4. Not showing up.
   A special place in hell is reserved for no-shows, when there, I hope Satan buggers you for eternity.
5. Leaving the Elsan in a right state.
   If you make a mess, clean it up. No one wants to find that waiting for them.
6. Using wet-wipes .
   Seriously. They don’t break down, they wreck our sewage system pumps, people know they are bad for cesspits, the sewer, and the environment, yet they still use them!
7. Arriving early.
   Bugger off – we need that time when we know no one’s arriving to get things done.
8. Arriving really late.
   Sort yourself out!
9. Turning up on spec.
   No. It’s a home, not a hotel. Have the courtesy to book ahead – we don’t sit around all day on the off chance you might show up.
10. Block-booking busy periods then not showing.
    You selfish, inconsiderate bastard. Don't forget about it and book a visit next year because we don't forget. And once you arrive, you'll find there's no pitch for you.

Can I add to the list please

 

[Gromett]

Can we cook pidgeon pie….

Please as many and as often as you want

 

[fishplug]

You forgot about telling people that eggs aren't included in the price!

A friend runs a bunkhouse / campsite in Cumbria.

There was an event they hosted which was for overland motorcycle travellers. You know, the trailblazers who've been to the remote parts of the world like Mongolia and 'the Stans' not the two week guided tour to Torremolinos.

They got a barrage of daft questions daily in the week leading up to the event.

"Is tea and coffee included in the bunkhouse price?"

"yes"

"How about the milk and sugar?"



Then there was the chap who had booked a campervan pitch at a sold out event who turned up in a 7.5 tonne horse box. Not quite the same thing...

The site can accomodate vehicles that size, just not when it's at capacity.

There's a dedicated firepit area and signs all over saying bbqs are not allowed outside of that area, and yet people will insist on using their disposable BBQ directly on the grass....

....and what's worse they then throw them in the general rubbish bin when there's a bin specifically for them.

Lots more stories from there, many of which I'm probably not allowed to mention (like the chap who was into his re-enactment who was wandering around the river bank in full SS uniform with a pistol that fired blanks who was totally unaware that the family on the opposite side of the bank were orthodox Jews - that was entertaining )

That's not even the worst of it!

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