Sheltered living/Active retirement apartments, Good idea? (1 Viewer)

[Minxy]

I used to.like you my idea of hell

I believe a fair few people do that as it's cheaper than going into a home, at least you get to see new places!

 

[Nanniemate]

I believe a fair few people do that as it's cheaper than going into a home, at least you get to see new places!

Americans do a lot as they get full medical cover on board that they could not afford at home.
So we're as most people only over indulge for a few weeks they do it for months shortening their live span .so it's a win win

 

[Janine]

Americans do a lot as they get full medical cover on board that they could not afford at home.
So we're as most people only over indulge for a few weeks they do it for months shortening their live span .so it's a win win

Sounds good to me

 

[Minxy]

Sounds good to me

Easy girl ... we all know you're only after the dishy crew!

 

[Nanniemate]

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[LittleGreyCat]

Another view.
There were some new M&S flats up for sale near us.
To buy, you had to be interviewed first.
We decided they were so far up themselves we wouldn't get on.

They also spent the first couple of years fixing major water leaks.

We downsized and extended the ground floor so we could live on one level if we lost mobility.
Wet room and easy wheelchair access if required.
Fortunately we are still mobile.
MH parked on the drive
Couple of minutes from the shops and train station.

I agree it is best to get sorted while you still have the energy.

 

[Janine]

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Yup - does it for me

 

[Nanniemate]

Yup - does it for me

I'm getting a little concerned

 

[WoldsSunlight]

A potential 'elephant in the room' here regarding those posters who say they'd just sell up etc. and live full-time in the van.... all well and good whilst you're still mobile enough (no pun intended) physically to do so, BUT..... what happens when you lose the ability to drive (or otherwise cope) with the van? An unexpected medical condition could occur at any age that prevents you from driving the van, so perhaps factor in things like alternative holidays (all-inclusive tours etc. by coach/ship etc.)

 

[Soycd]

Does anyone have experience to share, good and bad?
Currently in a nice flat, but second floor, and no lift and it's getting tiresome, especially when loading or emptying the van.
Lucky me, because I now qualify for age restriction property, so could buy a warden supported place. It's quite cheap on maintenance charges, and ages 55 plus I also live alone.
I don't have any mobility or health issues that need support at the moment.

I am considering a standard ground floor flat, with moho parking, but I mile from any shops, and no bus route or
an assisted living flat which is within .5 Mile of town, on a bus route, and there is a railway station. Also, U3A and a swimming pool, as it's a bigger town.

will I become a senior sleuth??? A la Richard Osman or get cabin fever due to the curtain twitching, can I live in OAP suburbia, I've never been keen on housing estates.,,,,,

I can't retire yet, but planning to in the next year or two. Will I want lots of social activities, once I have lots of time on my hands.

IN summary, am I being sensible and future proofing, or jumping ahead too soon. My previous MO would be impulsive and short term decision making.

I went to look at an assisted living place with my dad a few years ago before he died. It was fantastic. The residents varied in age from 35 to 90s. I wanted to put my name on the waiting list. It wasn't a 'home' more a community, every flat had a proper front door and is within a stones throw of shops, library etc. I think if you are considering it, do it. You are not jumping ahead too soon.

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[L' Hobo]

I went to look at an assisted living place with my dad a few years ago before he died. It was fantastic. The residents varied in age from 35 to 90s. I wanted to put my name on the waiting list. It wasn't a 'home' more a community, every flat had a proper front door and is within a stones throw of shops, library etc. I think if you are considering it, do it. You are not jumping ahead too soon.

I noticed that you didn't name this Shangri-la?
Afraid there might not be any vacancies for you perhaps?

 

[steve69]

I have to admit I have thought about selling up liquidating all assesses and going travelling.
Spending the lot and then planting myself on the doorstep of a nicely located council
Saying I'm old broke and homeless
Can you house me please

However could it go wrong

Perfect plan, as long as your final journey to the UK is in a small dinghy.

 

[The Coops]

Last stop before the coffin, I wouldn’t do it.

Yes, the one ( McCarthy and Stone) in Poulton is called.....Crocus Court, enough said!

 

[Pausim]

Children’s inheritance ?

I am already spending it as fast as I can.

 

[Puddleduck]

Something to consider as we get older is what happens when the lift breaks down or worse, if there was a fire? It is inevitable that we lose mobility to some degree as we age, and whilst we may be fit enough now to climb or descend stairs, that may not always be the case, it's worth considering.

I don't do stairs now and have a lift at home. It has had a few teething issues but the company who installed it (Stiltz) are here within a couple of hours so it's not that huge an issue. How that would go elsewhere I don't know.

and wish they would blow the lot having fun and run out on their deathbed.)

.

Watching parents getting old isn't fun They go from thinking they are 60 and can do XYZ to not being able to do ABC within a few hours. But totally don't notice the bad bits.

Trouble ahead.

Sorry for cutting out so much of your post.....

I wish my Mum and Dad had spent their money and had good memories to look back on. Mum at almost 93 only has awful tales and appears to find the most gruesome news to relate to me Last night it was how she and Dad had booked a "lovely" cruise but had to cancel due to her father being ill. The truth is she got cold feet about the whole thing and used Grandad's illness to back out. Even when she could have had a really good holiday it was every excuse not to go including that the lifeboat drill would be traumatic as she couldn't swim!!!!!

We are in the XYZ to ABC part now with Mum. She insists on doing things, finds she can't and leaves things in dangerous places. She has flooded the utility room so many times as she forgets to turn the taps off........ then at assessments she claims she can get to the shops and back and walks there several times a week - just not true as she is now in a wheelchair when we go out. She is so convincing that people who don't know her believe her.

Sell up and spend your twilight years on cruise ships

I believe a fair few people do that as it's cheaper than going into a home, at least you get to see new places!

We met a few people who do that when we were away at Christmas. They go ashore for a week or couple of weeks every so often and have an hotel room for a week or two before getting onboard again. One lady we were with had sailed the equivalent of 8 years in the previous 11 including over the covid years I think. She was in Sweden then and had a flat for a year - again I don't know about visa etc. I'm not sure how she did the insurance but perhaps that is why she took short breaks in hotels. As she said there was everything she ever needed onboard including gym and swimming pool (which she used every day), brilliant entertainment programme, food and laundry and housekeeping done, new faces on a regular basis plus the medical facilities were very good for minor issues. Anything major would be local hospital and she had full insurance cover for that. The crew treated her like royalty! She had no children and had never been married. Her ambition was to die in her cabin in her sleep............

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[Brains]

I am an Attorney for a former client with no family. Her care home fees are £8,000 odd per month! This home is in the South East where no doubt fees are high, but still.
Yet another of the issues to mull over when considering family and inheritance.

£8k a month does not surprise me.

My very active mother in her late 80's had dementia.
We looked at care homes, typically they start at £1,000 P/W plus extras

We eventually found a live in carer, with a team of 5-6 others, who would come in and stay for about 4 days and nights and then another would take over for 2 days and nights, with others coming in during the day to help.

The cost worked out at under £2k per week, but my mother remained in her own home until the end.
When she was still active, they took her out most days, she must have seen every stately home, park, beach and shop within a 70 mile radius of the house.

The issue here is finding the right person to lead the carers, as they need to manage the house, the shopping and the rota for the others.
(My brother an I were 200 miles away, so rotated a visit every 3 weeks)

 

[Nanniemate]

£8k a month does not surprise me.

My very active mother in her late 80's had dementia.
We looked at care homes, typically they start at £1,000 P/W plus extras

We eventually found a live in carer, with a team of 5-6 others, who would come in and stay for about 4 days and nights and then another would take over for 2 days and nights, with others coming in during the day to help.

The cost worked out at under £2k per week, but my mother remained in her own home until the end.
When she was still active, they took her out most days, she must have seen every stately home, park, beach and shop within a 70 mile radius of the house.

The issue here is finding the right person to lead the carers, as they need to manage the house, the shopping and the rota for the others.
(My brother an I were 200 miles away, so rotated a visit every 3 weeks)

A far better option than 'group care' but to find such a good team could not have been easy

 

[Pausim]

My Mother in Law’s live in carer is costing £1,350 p.w. (London) through a Bluebird agency. The agency arrange all the backup and holiday cover needed. The Romanian carer is brilliant. A bit more expensive than a residential care home but works well for MiL, she seems happy.

 

[Brains]

A far better option than 'group care' but to find such a good team could not have been easy

We were very lucky.

We tried a company called Country Cousins first.
I think in an urban situation they might have worked, but my mother lived in deepest Cornwall, and them sending down a person, by train, from the midlands to do a 3 day shift, in a rural situation with no car did not work.

Then a local Lord died, and we took over his team as a running concern.

It was also during the pandemic, so eventually 3 of them locked themselves inside the house will 'full PPE' (marigolds, bin liners and my mothers silk scarf collection) and my brother an I made our own 'bubble' and camped in the motorhome on the drive for 5 weeks.
We got the food etc and then passed it all through the bathroom window where it was all showered before being allowed into the rest of the house.

 

[Brains]

My Mother in Law’s live in carer is costing £1,350 p.w. (London) through a Bluebird agency. The agency arrange all the backup and holiday cover needed. The Romanian carer is brilliant. A bit more expensive than a residential care home but works well for MiL, she seems happy.

A colleague of mine had a similar set up in London

He employed two south African carers.
They did 6 weeks on, 6 weeks off, flying back to Cape Town each time
They kept it up for nearly 3 years.
By South African standards they were making a lot of money, with no living costs.

If you can afford to do it (£100k PA and a big house) then paying for carers to 'live in' is the best way forward

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[Puddleduck]

(My brother an I were 200 miles away, so rotated a visit every 3 weeks)

My sister and I are in a similar situation. I am over 100 miles north and she 200 miles south. We try to ensure a family member (her or I) are there every other week.

I am not in the best of health and my sister still has to work so it's not easy - and neither is Mum.

Mum has turned down the idea of a live in carer as she doesn't want anyone living in the house as when she dies they might have a claim on the property according to Mum. She hates having carers twice a day as it is and tries to cancel the care package and the meals delivery on a regular basis. We are now on the 4th or 5th housekeeping service

 

[tinkertaylor]

Mother In law is in one of these housing 21 places

Housing 21 is a leading, not for profit provider of Extra Care and Retirement Living for older people of modest means.

We offer a range of of Retirement Living and Extra Care options throughout England, for rent, purchase and shared ownership.

www.housing21.org.uk

She's renting with benefits paying the majority of the rent, she sold her house and spent the money on gifts, holidays, cars and decorating the flat.

It's quite an eye opener tbh as I never would have considered one before seeing hers but there's minimal interference, just like having a flat of your own. There's a social life on site , community room with bingo and on trips our organised. There's an emergency comms system in each flat as well and an onside manager. We'll worth looking at if you can set yourself up for it correctly.

 

[activecampers]

A neighbour has live in carer - over £50k pa.
But its what she needs.
Kids are having to pay it.
She is 103 and strong!

Where do you draw the line?!

Our lifestyle has enough for us, but certainly not enough to pay for parents, and certainly not at £50k pa for many years! And 50kpa and now 103 - not sure the property equity will cover it.

Not nice .

Had to be blunt with parents already and say we cannot fund anything for them. (not that they need it yet, just so they are prepared). They retired in 50s so their choices have financial consequences. I stopped fulltime work at 36 - so equally choices vs consequences..... My maths works well for us for now but certainly my choices will affect us if/when we get to that stage - but we accepted that when we made the choice (preferring to what we can, when we can) so no one else to blame......

We've no kids either to assist lol - but if we can fake being millonaires maybe the distant nieces and nephews will come sniffing

 

[Brains]

My sister and I are in a similar situation. I am over 100 miles north and she 200 miles south. We try to ensure a family member (her or I) are there every other week.

I am not in the best of health and my sister still has to work so it's not easy - and neither is Mum.

Mum has turned down the idea of a live in carer as she doesn't want anyone living in the house as when she dies they might have a claim on the property according to Mum. She hates having carers twice a day as it is and tries to cancel the care package and the meals delivery on a regular basis. We are now on the 4th or 5th housekeeping service

Firstly, you need to ensure it's you, not your mum employing the carers.
It means she can't fire them.
Same applies to the live in carer.

Sooner or later one of three things will happen.

• She will be taken into hospital, and will not be sent home without a care package (see 2&3 below).
• She will be moved to a care home
• She can have a live in carer.

Whilst she is still fit enough to make the decision, give her the options.
Otherwise the point will come when you have to make the decisions.

It far better to get the resident carer in before its required rather than after.
(And they don't even have the rights of a tenant, they are guests. Just ensure the POA's and Will are done before they arrive.)

 

[Nanniemate]

A neighbour has live in carer - over £50k pa.
But its what she needs.
Kids are having to pay it.
She is 103 and strong!

Where do you draw the line?!

Our lifestyle has enough for us, but certainly not enough to pay for parents, and certainly not at £50k pa for many years! And 50kpa and now 103 - not sure the property equity will cover it.

Not nice .

Had to be blunt with parents already and say we cannot fund anything for them. (not that they need it yet, just so they are prepared). They retired in 50s so their choices have financial consequences. I stopped fulltime work at 36 - so equally choices vs consequences..... My maths works well for us for now but certainly my choices will affect us if/when we get to that stage - but we accepted that when we made the choice (preferring to what we can, when we can) so no one else to blame......

We've no kids either to assist lol - but if we can fake being millonaires maybe the distant nieces and nephews will come sniffing

No kids = loads of money . Just enjoy it too many worry about passing onto their kids. What they worked hard for.
My parents helped out in many ways
But as for the big fat inheritace it's about 8 years now and still not found it

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[activecampers]

No kids = loads of money .

lol - would've been if I stayed in full time work - but even now, 15y on from leaving (51 ) we could not do now what we did 15y ago - so god knows how those who work till 65 to get maximum pension will feel! So we've balanced time & money - and sadly it is a balance for most
I've got a mate, same age, no kids, loadsa money, with MS (that will never get better) still working to get the maximum pension. Bonkers. His best year will be this year, but he will spend it working as he did the last 5 or so since diagnosis.
For sure, he will die richer!

 

[Nanniemate]

lol - would've been if I stayed in full time work - but even now, 15y on from leaving (51 ) we could not do now what we did 15y ago - so god knows how those who work till 65 to get maximum pension will feel! So we've balanced time & money - and sadly it is a balance for most
I've got a mate, same age, no kids, loadsa money, with MS (that will never get better) still working to get the maximum pension. Bonkers. His best year will be this year, but he will spend it working as he did the last 5 or so since diagnosis.
For sure, he will die richer!

67 now for some to get state pension
It looks like the plan is to put us back a few generations
Retire live 2/3 years and toddle off .

 

[CAB96]

I believe a fair few people do that as it's cheaper than going into a home, at least you get to see new places!

Anyone remember Triangle?

That old woman living on the cross channel ferry who couldn't get off because of her little dog?

 

[Rapido925M]

£50k for a live in carer?
Dad was quoted £2.5k per week 5 years ago in Teesside! He went through all of his savings paying £700pw in a reasonable care home before dying during COVID.

MiL is paying £1700 per week for her care home. She says that she wants to move into a one bedroom apartment “when her legs get better”: wishful thinking. Her savings will run out in July but she doesn’t want to sell her bungalow “at the moment”. She thinks someone will pay a fortune to acquire it and expects everything to go through quickly and easily. She is convinced that her collection of Herb Alpert vinyls are worth thousands.

That all highlights my dilemma: do I utilise my assets now and hope that charity will come to my rescue when we need it or do I save my pennies so that I can guarantee some decent care if we need it in the future? Ideally we would have a great few years then both die quickly and peacefully BUT that is probably unlikely. Anyone know a good purveyor of crystal balls?

Gordon

 

[Pausim]

My crystal ball is cracked but with rising care costs and rising numbers needing it I doubt that things will get easier or better in the future. The authorities already look at “Deprivation of Assets” before paying care costs out of our taxes. As things get even more difficult in years to come I would not expect too much sympathy for those who lived the good life without some thought about their future. Especially from those who have happily seen their potential inheritances disappear keeping their loved ones in some comfort and privacy.

I doubt that society will allow anyone to go completely without care but it may not be in cosy individual rooms with the comfort and dignity we might hope for.

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