What to do with a 14 year old for summer?

Agree with you puddleduck, our 14 last year went very quiet (even more than normal). It turned out she was having hard time making friends as all the friendships groups had changed. She is ok now got through it and is a better friendship circle. Its a tough time being 14, would never want to be that age again!
 
She probably doesn't want to be embarrassed by you oldies dancing and singing at the motorhome fun meets........ if she has a friend with her they can laugh at you together and it will be easier for her ........................ another couple of years and your trouble will REALLY begin... it's great being a mum isn't it.. :(
 
We had the daughter from hell. Drugs, pregnancies, men galore, she is soon to be 38 and thank god, finally seems to be getting it together. The hurt and the tears shed have been endless, but finally, fingers crossed, our relationship seems easier. But it has been awful and very hard.
 
From about 14 the uncoolest thing in the world is to be seen anywhere with your parents, especially on holiday. For most of them that's the way of things. Short of getting her to bring a friend along and going somewhere lively and yoof orientated like Newquay (which may not work anyway if it's been instigated by old people) there's no easy answer. Just bite your lip and pray for the day they leave home. I've always told people to cherish the pre-high school family holidays because it rapidly goes downhill after that.

We let our eldest stay home at 16 while we went abroad because we were sick of her grizzling. No parties, no more than three people in the house, rules, rules etc, all ignored. We came home to find the fridge door held on with sellotape, beer stains on the walls and an anonymous note from a neighbour complaining about late night revels. Ho hum. We enjoyed the holiday though. I still occasionally meet adults who've been to our house without us ever having met them - they were scraping up hungover mates of our eldest on the morning after. On the few occasions she's been abroad since with either or both of us she's been hard work - she just can't adapt to family trips. However, she's lived and worked on her own in Canada and Australia for 6 months at a time in recent years, so she does things her own way and has earned our additional respect for that.

The youngest is different - she knows when she's onto a good thing with free trips abroad and is quite well-travelled in Europe. She's been along with us into her early twenties and still goes on weekend jaunts abroad with Mrs MSB when they want some girly time together. I stay home for some peace, and let them go shopping.
 
Puddleduck said:
Strangely enough our youngest still wants to come on holiday with us..... she is almost 27!
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See, there are some 'non rebels' out there. Nor those who enjoy their parents company.
 
Got mine involved with the youth at our local DA of the C&CC. They never looked back, even now I see on Facebook that they have all got together at some youth meet! They have made friends for life even though they are all at different universities now.(y)
 
We went to florida last summer for 3 weeks. Both our girls came. The eldest was 20 at the time and had just come back from a 5 week inter-railing trip around Europe. So you can imagine how stroppy and scathing she was going to be. I was dreading it as we were all in 1 room, the girls had to share bed. Well a couple days in i was counting the days till we left. Suddenly out of no where the girl i hadn't seen since she left home joined us :). Her character just suddenly changed and she decided it was actually fun being on holiday with the family. Formed a new bon with her kid sister and we had a fabulous holiday. We all said at the end we didn't want to go home. in fact the day we got home she asked PERMISSION to go out! Ahh sweet :) i had to remind her that she is an adult and doesn't need my permission.

Holidays have a great healing power for families,the forced closeness can firm up bonds and create so many loving memories. Really dreading the day they don't want to come. Also looking forward to freedom so i am a bit torn really :(
 
Our 26 year daughter came with us in motorhome last year on a trip to Devon to see her Grandad, she was due to come with us this June to Spain by plane to see her grandmother but has reconsidered, she didn't enjoy the motorhome trip.:( Our younger daughter and boyfriend are coming, free holiday was the decider.:D
The 26 year old has always been a loner, genetically loaded, similar to her father, I probably pushed her too much in her early teens to conform much to my regret.
They did enjoy our caravan holidays when they were younger but they weren't great mixers, genetics again.
 
Our daughter is now 17 and touch wood we have been very luck with her, she can be cheeky like any teen and her room is a mess even though she won't leave the house with a hair out of place, I always moan at her for not walking the dog Just a healthy teen really.
When taking her on holidays we took her best friend most times since the age of 8 unless we were going for more than 3 weeks, we tend to get her involved in where we want to go and give her choices, we had a great holiday in Lake Garda a few years back and wanted to go back so last summer we said we would go back as it could be our last family holiday due to her wanting to go with her friends, so I gave her the choice Lake Garda or Scandinavia as I've always wanted to go there she voted for Scandinavia and loved every minute of it and wants to go back.
While on holiday Sophie can be a wee bit shy when it comes to making friends so I tend to stop and chat with the parents of other kids and before you know it they are talking and once she starts she never shuts up so I just leave her for some peace and quiet
We have met some lovely people through Sophie and keep in touch with a few, 1 family from Slovenia a couple of Welsh families (I know welsh).
Another thought why not take her somewhere she will like we went to a music festival a couple of years back with her and loved it .

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[QUOTE="
She DOES NOT MIX
she DOES NOT CONVERSE.. even with her parents.
Because of this she maybe has no friends ad cannot make friends.

A close family friends 18yo daughter acts the same way and has for years.
But She has recently been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome.
Not saying this applies here.[/QUOTE]
Unless this is a spoof posting , going by the shed joke bit.
I fully agree with the above quote.
Antone that show these traits is very likely to be an Aspie.
I know there are lots of them that are undiagnosed and branded as oddball or weird, I have been surrounded by them all my life and they are usually living their own agenda.
 
Update.....I asked her.....

Me: where would you like to go on holiday?
Gabby: my bed!
Me: we won't all fit in your bed.
Gabby: oooh I don't like holidays. I don't like socialising.
Me: would you like to stay in this country or go to France?
Gabby: this country.

So we've made a start!

Me: what activities would you like on the site?
Gabby: dunno. I just watch netflix
Me: bet if we hired a golf buggy you'd want to go!
Gabby: (gets all excited) oh oh yeah can we?

She's so funny! She asked for a pair of crutches and a mobility scooter for Christmas one year!!!
 
Cat53 said:
See, there are some 'non rebels' out there. Nor those who enjoy their parents company.
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She always says we need someone to look after us as we are geriatric delinquents!
 
apple7 said:
Update.....I asked her.....

Me: where would you like to go on holiday?
Gabby: my bed!
Me: we won't all fit in your bed.
Gabby: oooh I don't like holidays. I don't like socialising.
Me: would you like to stay in this country or go to France?
Gabby: this country.

So we've made a start!

Me: what activities would you like on the site?
Gabby: dunno. I just watch netflix
Me: bet if we hired a golf buggy you'd want to go!
Gabby: (gets all excited) oh oh yeah can we?

She's so funny! She asked for a pair of crutches and a mobility scooter for Christmas one year!!!
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So somewhere in the UK where you can hire a golf buggy and watch netflix. St Andrew's maybe?

Would she be interested in PGL? One of mine had a great holiday with them - she was supposed to be doing driving but there weren't enough who signed up so she decided to do climbing instead.
 
That's the trick - have a conversation with her, all options open but she must accept that in the real world there are limitations forced upon all of us - ie staying home alone or a trip to the moon just isn't possible but you're willing to consider anything she can make her case for...

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What's PGL?

She'd love to go driving. Asking about getting her driving licence already! Lol
 
Bring her to Ireland.
I'll stick her in an aeroplane and we'll go up to a couple thousand feet and chuck it around and do a few aerobatics...... and I WILL MAKE HER FLY IT , bet she has a ball.
To boot, free motorhome parking on the site, even has a bar and busy every evening with a great bunch of people.
20 odd planes based here. Good fun.
Check us out:
www.FinnValleyFlyingClub.com
 
Jonkil said:
Bring her to Ireland.
I'll stick her in an aeroplane and we'll go up to a couple thousand feet and chuck it around and do a few aerobatics...... and I WILL MAKE HER FLY IT , bet she has a ball.
To boot, free motorhome parking on the site, even has a bar and busy every evening with a great bunch of people.
20 odd planes based here. Good fun.
Check us out:
www.FinnValleyFlyingClub.com
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1. Did 18000 people just hit your site cos it's going a bit slow
2. Sod 14 year olds.. when can I come?
 
Big fly-in and massive open day, held 1st weekend in June every year.
We could probably designate an area for motorhomes if enough interested.

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Jonkil said:
Big fly-in and massive open day, held 1st weekend in June every year.
We could probably designate an area for motorhomes if enough interested.
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Can't do 2015, but 2016 was already looking like Ireland year. It's just become a bit more so ....

@apple7 the fly-in weekend might not be the right weekend for your 14 yr old (too many people), but if she liked the golf cart idea, just think what a trial flight would be like....

No better place to do it - nice laid back atmosphere & Ireland is a good place for the shy - everyone very easy to talk to but without any pressure.
 
For future reference, Lake Garda. Three theme parks (including Italy's Alton Towers) and a water park all within a couple of miles of each other with free shuttle buses between them. A lake with bike tracks along the bank and boat and pedalo hire, and tons of four star campsites with all the trimmings and private beach frontage. You could even visit Europa Park in Germany on the way down.
 

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