Under 16 years old staying in Motorhome overnight on their own

[lindyloot]

Can anyone tell me if it is legal for a 10 year old and a 16 year old ,are allowed to overnight in a motorhome on their own ( both girls). My daughter has told me that they have to sleep in the motorhome. They are spending Christmas with their dad at his girlfriends parents house

 

[Googlebot]

Of all the things to get cross about, I don’t think a 16 year old and a 10 year old staying in a motorhome on the drive is one of them.

We use ours regularly as an extra room for guests including children.

It’s 5m from the house and they can even come in and go as they please.

You are clearly upset about the dynamics of the relationship the children have, rather than the fact they are staying in a motorhome IMHO.

If they had a massive house with an annexe, would you be cross if they were “banished” to the annexe?

There is no lower legal age limit to be left alone either, it’s up to the individual child and how responsible they are, if they are happy to be left and no neglect is taking place. That said, they aren’t really alone or neglected being on the driveway in a motorhome are they?

Staying home alone

Is your child ready to be left home alone? Practical advice to help keep your children safe, build independence and find the right childcare for your family.

www.nspcc.org.uk

Breakups are difficult, family politics are something else. Hope you feel better now though.

 

[Gina M]

ooooh matron.

 

[Swifter]

Sounds like the girls will have a good time with their new family and someone has a green eyed monster staying at her house for Xmas…..

I couldn’t agree more . The dad is being made out to be some kind of criminal here. It’s a difficult time at Christmas to find sleeping arrangements for all the family . This man is trying his best here and I really can’t see the problem. It’s a very posh spare room and most kids would love this . I don’t think the Motorhome is the real issue here.

 

[DBK]

I suspect this is domestic issue between the OP and her Ex. I hope they can sort it out amicably.

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[Tombola]

Pulling out of port in Italy on a cruise once, my mobile rings (mobiles were quite new and costs were high)
OOH its home I said
DAAAAAD...will you tell joe it my turn to play on the Xbox, them 2 have been on it all afternoon.

14,11 and 9,

yes I had people looking in on them, and they slept at nans 6 doors down but in essence they did everything else themselves.

another one......my wife and I was in gran canaria, and again left them home alone (not quite) gran etc etc, but we missed them so much we managed to get all 3 on a flight,

met them at gran canaria airport, where armed police /customs guy escorted them through customs and wouldnt let them go"land side" till they confirmed and pointed me out to them as "my dad"

great days, the eldest is now 29 and it always gets a good chat about at gatherings, "remember the soldier that seen us through the airport"

character building dahhhling

 

[Minxy]

Can't respond any other way! Post 35 says it all! You can swear if you want? Can't hear anyway!

Shame you take it so flippantly ... unfortunately kids are not safe from others, not the family etc in this case, but the idiots in the wider world. My comments were made based on the info given by the OP and I don't need your permission to swear regardless of if you are deaf or otherwise aurally challenged.

As for post #35 and specifically:

I don't get all the fuss. If you had a "pool house" in the garden, with beds, toilet, fridge and tv, would there be the same concern?

This isn't a pool house in someone's 'secure' back garden but likely a motorhome on a front drive accessible to the public (as most are).

I still hold the view that based on the original info given that putting 2 kids overnight in a motorhome when they are supposed to be visiting and spending time with their father (ignoring any 'safety' or other aspects) just isn't on - I certainly wouldn't like it and I doubt others would. It's okay for others to say the kids' will love being in a MH etc but we know what it's like in our motorhomes and are adults so more able to deal with and not worry about things. They're kids and may never have stayed in one nor been in a situation where they haven't had the 'security' of knowing they are in the same property as a parent/adult, especially the 10 year old.

 

[Bailey 15]

Hope the dad has a fantastic Christmas with his girls and HIS extended family here!!
It’s a motorhome, how exciting for them, if the mothers boyfriend had a motorhome at his parents I suppose that would be ok!
Some previous comments have got this right, it seems to be a mum controlling issue.

Providing there is no known safeguarding issue with the dad here, let him have the responsibility of his girls whilst in his care (that’s the law btw) and let them all have a fantastic time together

 

[eddie]

We had the Police called to us years ago, we’d gone to stay with friends and parked our camper on their drive.

Later in the evening, our boys had been put to bed in the camper and we were in the house when there was a knock at the door, the Police!

The Policeman was attending as there had been a report of children being abandoned in a “van” outside a house, the report coming in from a neighbour.

Now, a few salient facts! The neighbour was a petty, nosey, curtain twitching twat that tried to take legal action when our friends had bought their camper.

Our mates were dentists and the Policeman was a patient, so knew them, but had had to attend.

We opened up the camper and went in to see our boys, sat watching DVD’s on the front TV and playing on the PlayStation on the rear TV with the remnants of a ‘midnight snack’ evident.

The Policeman contacted the station on his radio and told the the children hadn’t been abandoned in a ‘van’ they were in fact in a brand new 36 foot RV “bigger and more luxurious than my flat, about 12 feet away from Mum and Dad the other side of a patio door”

So we we’re having a nice night, the kids were having a great time having spent all afternoon and early evening playing with our mates kids, but the evil old cow, nosey neighbour couldn’t stand the fact the there was a RV parked across the road so must have been watching all afternoon before phoning the Police!

Luckily she died the following year and our mates had no more hassle!

 

[Red Sonja]

Why do people not read posts properly. lindyloot asked a perfectly reasonable question with the information given to her at the time. It turns out her Grandaughter had not given her Mum or Grandmother all the facts. These facts were found out when Mum had a conversation with Dad. All now sorted in a friendly manner

The post has now turned into a controlling Mum issue who doesn't want her kids to visit their Dad.

We don't know all the facts in the case but have turned the original question asking for advice on the issue into something quite different.

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[Just smiffy]

Children of separated/divorced parents are very good with the information they give to each parent, perhaps telling them what they think they want to hear….

 

[meanders]

The 16 year old can easily say she doesn't want to go, not sure of the legal position regarding the 10 year old but I don't think she can be forced to go.

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, so this may already have been answered, but I am not sure this line of discussion is helpful for the children or the OP? If you know enough to know that the 16 year-old can't be forced to go, I am sure you will also know that all children try to appease both parents by taking what they perceive to be that parents line, while they are with that parent. Use of the phrase forced to go, rather than encouraged to go is also unhelpful especially as nothing in the original post indicated there was a reticence to go. The adults should be adult enough to have a conversation without the children about the arrangements, but I remember spending a Christmas sleeping in a caravan on our uncles drive, and we loved it especially as no adults were present. Not too sure how much sleep was had, but then it was Christmas.

 

[meanders]

PS. Have now read the whole thread. Well done to the adults for sorting it out. The kids will have a great time, but it would be normal for them to be a little nervous before going.

 

[Minxy]

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, so this may already have been answered, but I am not sure this line of discussion is helpful for the children or the OP? If you know enough to know that the 16 year-old can't be forced to go, I am sure you will also know that all children try to appease both parents by taking what they perceive to be that parents line, while they are with that parent. Use of the phrase forced to go, rather than encouraged to go is also unhelpful especially as nothing in the original post indicated there was a reticence to go. The adults should be adult enough to have a conversation without the children about the arrangements, but I remember spending a Christmas sleeping in a caravan on our uncles drive, and we loved it especially as no adults were present. Not too sure how much sleep was had, but then it was Christmas.

Shame you didn't read the thread before your post towards me ... as I have already said earlier I was commenting based on the facts we'd been given at the time. What I said was only a last resort if nothing else could be done, it wasn't meant to be the only course of action. I agree that kids do try to appease parents however if a child really did not want to go because it was causing him/her major issues then they cannot be forced as their welfare must come first - it isn't just a black and white situation.

 

[Brains]

I am a leader in a Scout group.

We have kids, much younger than ten, in tents only with kids of the same age.
The nearest adults (who will be asleep) maybe 100m away.

As long as the van is dry and safe, and they have good quality sleeping bags or heating I see zero issue with a ten year old and a sixteen year old sleeping there.
Sounds like a perfect Christmas Adventure.

What concerns me a 'cotton wool' kids, at 16 years old you are old enough to get married, have your own children, smoke and join up with the Army.
You may not be a full adult, but you are certainly not a child at that age.

By the time I was 16 I had a full time job and an 8 year old sister, we regularly slept in a tent in the garden.

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[Gaston aires]

When I was a young kid in the fifties, my uncle Ernie used to take us all to his wooden house on the banks of the Thames for Christmas in the open back of his pick up truck. We loved it being with the family. We slept on chairs, sofas, etc. Kids are wrapped up in cotton wool thesedays. No big deal in a motorhome.
Phil

 

[tonyidle]

Children of separated/divorced parents are very good with the information they give to each parent, perhaps telling them what they think they want to hear….

No need to be divorced or separated for kids to do that

 

[PaulW2]

Interesting thread. A fair bit has been written about children's safety over time.

There seem to be two trends. The first is that safety rules - for example seatbelts rather than in the back of pick up trucks as I sometimes travelled - do in fact make a huge difference. Of course I lived to tell the tale, and those few that didn't didn't, but it is much safer now.

Then there is risk assessment which is to a degree cultural - detached from objective risk, but everyone else does it so I do too. We sometimes have what is pejoratively called moral panics as a result, about things that make little real difference to safety. But everyone else does it too, so how are we to know? I don't want to be a bad parent or adult by seeming blasé about things that worry other people.

Maybe a teenager came to harm once while sleeping in a motorhome on their drive with parents in the house, but the actual incidence of harm?

(I'm not commenting on any of the psychology of people feeling neglected or cherished!)

 

[Gina M]

I suppose it depends on our own upbringing as to how we worry about children. We had no parental care, school was our sanctuary. During the school holidays mum would leave for work and kick us out on the streets we could only return when she was back home (around 6pm) the danger we got ourselves into is so bad we were lucky to survive, perverts in the park, playing on train tracks etc. we had to steal food so yes, I think children are precious and should always be treated that way. Those of you who see no danger in letting children sleep in a MH are very lucky.

 

[PaulW2]

People who want to take advantage of children often insinuate themselves into positions where they can gain access to do so. So in schools, churches, sports clubs, scouts, celebrities with shows, even from memory some health care professionals. And failing that they may hang around in parks or the streets. But how often do they actually break and enter with that purpose? I'm not aware of such stats. (Obviously there have been isolated and horrific cases such as Madeleine McCann.)

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[Minxy]

People who want to take advantage of children often insinuate themselves into positions where they can gain access to do so. So in schools, churches, sports clubs, scouts, celebrities with shows, even from memory some health care professionals. And failing that they may hang around in parks or the streets. But how often do they actually break and enter with that purpose? I'm not aware of such stats. (Obviously there have been isolated and horrific cases such as Madeleine McCann.)

It doesn't necessary mean someone is after the kids, simply someone taking the chance to break in to the MH at a time when others are much more likely 'under the influence' of alcohol so less likely to react, it would scare the kids massively and scar them for years!

I read all the comments from others saying about "when I were a lad" etc but that was then, now is a different time completely and unfortunately.

 

[JockandRita]

I suspect this is domestic issue between the OP and her Ex. I hope they can sort it out amicably.

Sorry Derek, but you need to go back and read the original post again................................ as well as the rest of the thread.

Why do people not read posts properly. lindyloot asked a perfectly reasonable question with the information given to her at the time. It turns out her Grandaughter had not given her Mum or Grandmother all the facts. These facts were found out when Mum had a conversation with Dad. All now sorted in a friendly manner

The post has now turned into a controlling Mum issue who doesn't want her kids to visit their Dad.

We don't know all the facts in the case but have turned the original question asking for advice on the issue into something quite different.

Bang on Sonja.

Cheers,

Jock.

 

[Guigsy]

Your regular reminder that... it wasn't actually any more safe when you were a kid. There's a fair amount of evidence that risks have stayed pretty flat. It's just perception that's changed.

 

[Gina M]

Your regular reminder that... it wasn't actually any more safe when you were a kid. There's a fair amount of evidence that risks have stayed pretty flat. It's just perception that's changed.

Yes I agree, I see danger on campsites all the time with children playing alone far away from their parents but have never known a child harmed on any site. I am fully aware it is just me because of the things I have seen as a child and the dangerous situations I got myself into and always out of thank god!! but it doesn't stop me from worrying and doesn't stop me from watching.

 

[Stoosal]

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!

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[Shrimp]

Personally I would be chuffed as a 10 or 16 yr old t sleep in a MoHo on the drive/in the garden but that is just me far too independent to care whilst growing up.

This is crazy . They are sleeping in a Motorhome , probably on EHU with heating and hot water! It’s not a tent in the back garden !

The only problem is that I don’t think it’s a MoHo, I think one post says it’s a van or partly converted van!

 

[Pablo19]

I think I'd be more worried about my MH than the kids!

 

[Ray-Vic]

Yep.
Under 14 can't be left unsupervised but as theres a 16 year old it's perfectly ok

There is no legal age that a child can be left alone. The law only notes that a child can't be left alone if doing so puts them at risk, no matter what their age.

 

[meanders]

if a child really did not want to go because it was causing him/her major issues then they cannot be forced as their welfare must come first

Absolutely agree. I was pulled before a High Court judge at the Royal Courts of Justice because I supported a 12 year-old who did not want contact with his birth mum. The social workers in one authority (where the child originally came from and where mum still lived) were at odds with the social workers, and more importantly, the children's rights officer in the local authority where we lived. I was being accused of influencing him. The truth is he was terrified of his mother.

So while you might think I don't understand the issues, I do... Very well.

My observation was that the whole issue of whether the children wanted to go was born out of other people's posts and assumptions here, rather than the information reported by the OP. I did not think I aimed it at anyone in particular, but rereading it now I did. I apologise.