The Man in The Next Bed.........

[Puddleduck]

Or there was the woman next bed to me who always got two cartons of milk twice a day plus a double portion of sandwiches at lunch time - and gave all the milk plus one pack of sandwiches to her husband to take home to save him having to buy them!

 

[rangi]

AHA! Yer back eh? Fit and well?, on yer! Toots
Good to have you back

 

[Madwife]

Could write a book and that's from the nursing perspective! Hated working night duty when there was a full moon as definitely busier and people more loopy One ward was so busy that we had extra beds put up in the centre of the ward. One poor man got up in the middle of the night to the toilet and when he came back there was someone else installed in his bed!

Kath

 

[Larrynwin]

Or there was the woman next bed to me who always got two cartons of milk twice a day plus a double portion of sandwiches at lunch time - and gave all the milk plus one pack of sandwiches to her husband to take home to save him having to buy them!

A friend of Jethro ?

 

[Tootles]

I snore very very loudly

Yes, I know. You even wake me up!.

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[barearse]

Welcome back Toots.

I've got a saying; "Hospital is NOT the place to be when you're sick!"
This is based on both being an in-patient myself, AND ferrying people in and out of damned hospitals for 30 years in my previous line of work.

D'you know the type that really pisses me off? The 'professional patient'. Here's how they start.....

"New are we? Anything you want to know, just ask ol' Tom"
"I'm a miracle man, me...oh yes"
"I've been under the knife so many times, Sheffield almost ran out of steel"
"DIED on the table three times y'know. 'Course they brought me back. Doc said I'm a marvel"
" Student doctors? They LOVE me. They're welcome round my bed any time. My condition foxes 'em all"

At this stage, with his arse hanging out of his NHS gown, he proceeds to give a guided tour of his scars!

Not happy with that, he then lists all his med's - mostly getting the names wrong....
"Had a rip-roaring infection after me last Op'. Had to go on Penycillian....... Those Stereo tablets make me put on weight too, but who cares, at least I'm around eh? EH?"

And so it goes on. He's the first one at 6am to say 'MORNING - you're awake then?' and the last thing you hear at night; until, that is, you lose the will to live!!

Amen to that Mr Wingman. I was in for just ONE night after having one of them there peacemakers fitted.(On a good day, I can now receive radio 2!). Over the years, my daughter, mother or two of my sisters have had to spend months at a time in hospitals. Soul destroying.

 

[Tootles]

having one of them there peacemakers fitted.

Like this???

 

[barearse]

Like this???

View attachment 53673

If only!

 

[Ambilkate]

OMG Tootles you have made me laugh reading the first post on this thread Welcome back

Kate xxx

 

[plumbomb]

I spent 11years working for the maintenance departments in two of Sheffield hospitals,best jobs I every had but I would have to be on deaths door to be a patient in any hospital

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[Minxy]

Tootsy ... just a thought ... if you want something a bit more 'comfortable' for a while how about an inflatable instrument instead of your brass one!

 

[joncris]

Welcome back Toots
How you feeling?

 

[Bailey58]

Amen to that Mr Wingman. I was in for just ONE night after having one of them there peacemakers fitted.(On a good day, I can now receive radio 2!). Over the years, my daughter, mother or two of my sisters have had to spend months at a time in hospitals. Soul destroying.

Like this???

View attachment 53673

Only been back 5 minutes and Tootles is already pushing Rule 1.

 

[LilacMoss]

Absolutely priceless...and laughter is always the best medicine! So looking forward to meeting as many of you as I can when out & about in my mh. Just to put your faces to your names...& those wonderful sense of humours! Fantastic! Ps Hope you're well on the mend tootles

 

[yodeli]

Oh Dear! I have only read the first page and won't go on, I could be traumatised for ever!
Ok France is not the best when it comes to have a French registration for a coming in the country old German van.... BUT ..... when it comes to hospital ...I dare say I have never either visited someone in the situation you have described Tootles (neither those described by other funsters!)nor have I ever been spending some time in a French hospital in such conditions .... It's really scary! Is it always like that? Can't you have a bedroom just for you? It seldom happens here to have 2 people in the same bedroom let alone 3 or even more !

Welcome back Tootles ! I wish you to always stay at home and never have to stay in hospital anymore!!

Amicalement

Frankie

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[cruiser]

welcome back it is really great to get out. when I was there as said you can not sleep. we had one old man that got lost every night. two others that used to moan and moan. then on the third night. it went quite. and when I got woken up for the blood pressure. the two moaners had died. and they could not find the wanderer. as I lay there slightly shell shocked. they brought in another poor guy, when they went to put him on the bed he died. so they took him away. two more died in that week. then joy behold they said I could go home. the sister quick go before its your turn. been back again but put in a another ward. lets hope you don't have to go back.

 

[sedge]

LOL at The Professional Patient, loved the stereo tablets.

When Pete broke his ribs and squished his lung, he was in the cardio-thoracic ward with all the heart bypasses and stuff. An old Irish guy came out of ICU into the bed opposite. Next day they'd removed most of his tubes and wires and he was awake and alert. Deaf as a post though so wasn't really having too much conversation with his fellow inmates.

They came round with the drugs trolley and he was querying whether he still had to take one of the things he'd been on before his op. What was it Mr Murphy? He couldn't remember. Was it this or that? Blank. Was it dispersible aspirin? Ah yes nurse, dat was it! you're right! - disposable aspirin!

We've always called it that since then .....

 

[Tootles]

how about an inflatable instrument

Thanks Minxy. The doctor has said that everything will inflate again once the bruising goes down........

 

[GJH]

Thanks Minxy. The doctor has said that everything will inflate again once the bruising goes down........

Not the ego, please not the ego