Stop putting stuff off.

I've posted elsewhere tonight re the demise of our DIL.

Our youngest son posted this up about an incident involving Kathryn (DIL)
I think it's appropriate to this post.

"A couple of years ago I went to see a friend play in his band at a pub. As he was a mutual friend of Kathryn and Richard, they were there too. Last orders was being called, and I was ruminating whether to get (another) last pint in. She looked me dead in the eye and said words to the effect (and efficiency) of "Matt, get another drink". Only a handful of words, but they, and the look carried with it some 24-carat life experience.
It became her motif: "Take the holidays, eat the cake". I couldn't agree more.

A mantra for us all.

Go well Kathryn.
 
Feltwell said:
I got news today that an old work colleague had died from cancer - he was about 58 I'd say. A few years years back my cousin, only 5 days different in age to me, died 2 weeks after getting a cancer diagnosis. I'm 50 and would love to stop work for good at 55, but also don't want to be in the position where I have a long life and run out of money. Therein lies the eternal dilemma.

I'm stopping by 60 though, come hell or high water!
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If you own your own property then consider it as a bank of cash so add in around 50% of the value if your home to your retirement income calcs. Downsizing or Equity Release Will give you the cash if you want it to
 
Years ago on a different forum,there was a guy called “judgemental” he seemed to live a full life abroad i commented on a post he had made ,how id like to be doing what he was doing,he said do it cos your only here once ,its not a rehersal, i was looking after my mum at the time(i still am ,but have more help now) and shortly after that ,he passed away. It really did make me think tho,and i have made my life easier with more freedom than i did have, in fact im selling the house to try and downsize, and spend money doing things we like to do, i wasnt on this forum then (cos i didnt understand how to pay…..doh) anyway i often think of him altho id never met him personally, and think,i cant do everything i want but im giving it my best shot 🥂
 
pampam said:
Years ago on a different forum,there was a guy called “judgemental” he seemed to live a full life abroad i commented on a post he had made ,how id like to be doing what he was doing,he said do it cos your only here once ,its not a rehersal, i was looking after my mum at the time(i still am ,but have more help now) and shortly after that ,he passed away. It really did make me think tho,and i have made my life easier with more freedom than i did have, in fact im selling the house to try and downsize, and spend money doing things we like to do, i wasnt on this forum then (cos i didnt understand how to pay…..doh) anyway i often think of him altho id never met him personally, and think,i cant do everything i want but im giving it my best shot 🥂
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I had a good relationship with him both on another place and on here. Really nice bloke face to face as well, sadly gone now. I was very distressed (still am) to see that an ex work colleague passed away no less than three weeks after he retired whilst looking to relocate back from Switzerland to Ireland. It is truly shocking 😓😓😓

Anyway, this all distracts from the very sad original post but does serve a purpose in that it focussed a few minds
 
pampam said:
Years ago on a different forum,there was a guy called “judgemental” he seemed to live a full life abroad i commented on a post he had made ,how id like to be doing what he was doing,he said do it cos your only here once ,its not a rehersal, i was looking after my mum at the time(i still am ,but have more help now) and shortly after that ,he passed away. It really did make me think tho,and i have made my life easier with more freedom than i did have, in fact im selling the house to try and downsize, and spend money doing things we like to do, i wasnt on this forum then (cos i didnt understand how to pay…..doh) anyway i often think of him altho id never met him personally, and think,i cant do everything i want but im giving it my best shot 🥂
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Judgemental was a valued member on Motorhomefun,and sadly missed.

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I seem to remember judgemental was the forum expert on importing vans from abroad, someone will correct me if that wasn't the case.
 
Otter Spotter said:
If you own your own property then consider it as a bank of cash so add in around 50% of the value if your home to your retirement income calcs. Downsizing or Equity Release Will give you the cash if you want it to
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I think property value is a bit of a last resort for us to be honest. I've got an old Victorian house that has had literally thousands of hours of my time poured into it - though I do know we won't be living here forever, when the kids are all gone it'll be much bigger than we need (though with my youngest age 12, that's a while away). It has got lots and lots of stairs and is always going to be expensive to heat so I know in my head it's not a suitable place to be an elderly person in, but when it's a place that you love and has so much of you invested in it then it's hard to let go!

It's a value that's there but I'd rather leave that out of plans, it becomes a contingency if all else fails.

It's a bit like receiving an inheritance from my parents doesn't feature in my plans either - it may well happen, but equally it could all get swallowed up in care costs in years to come, who knows. Hopefully one that is good few years away yet - banking on receiving nothing other than some sentimental family items is the safest way to go.
 
Whenever I read things like this it makes me think of a guy I knew

Wouldn't retire, eventually the company was sold to Americans who had a retire at 65 policy so at 68 he was reluctantly retired

One day he was looking a bit down so I asked him what was wrong, he was Wigan's biggest rugby league fan, they were playing some matches in Australia, he desperately wanted to go but couldn't write the cheque even thought he had enough in the bank to buy a street of houses

A couple of years later he got sepsis and died, it sounds like LES was the opposite, be more like LES, enjoy yourself and don't worry about the money, the government will only take it off you anyway

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So sorry to hear of Les's passing and condolences to the family ❤️

We had a little bit of an epiphany a few months ago when we had 3 funerals to attend in 3 weeks of relatively young people. That was really tough, 2 were sudden deaths and 1 was a friend who had early onset dementia in her early 50's and really, truthfully died a very slow death over the 10 years or so before she actually died. We decided there and then to buy our PVC and stop putting it off any longer.

I'm 45 (almost) and hubby is 47, my dad literally dropped dead at 53 and hubby's dad passed at 70. Neither were retired and still wage slaves, it's such a shame, we don't want that to be us.
 
GMLS said:
I'm nearly 58 and don't plan to be figuring in his plan for too much longer.
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I was once asked at an interview "where do you see yourself in 10 years time?" I said "Somewhere nice in a motorhome or on a cruise ship as I will be retired." I didn't get the job :)
Brody said:
So sorry to hear of Les's passing and condolences to the family ❤️

We had a little bit of an epiphany a few months ago when we had 3 funerals to attend in 3 weeks of relatively young people. That was really tough, 2 were sudden deaths and 1 was a friend who had early onset dementia in her early 50's and really, truthfully died a very slow death over the 10 years or so before she actually died. We decided there and then to buy our PVC and stop putting it off any longer.

I'm 45 (almost) and hubby is 47, my dad literally dropped dead at 53 and hubby's dad passed at 70. Neither were retired and still wage slaves, it's such a shame, we don't want that to be us.
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My Dad died in June age 91 after a long struggle with complex dementia. My Mum is also 91 and was his full time carer until last Christmas. Mum is going down hill fast as they never did anything without the other.

So if you are in a relationship look after each other but make time for yourself. It's healthy to have different interests as well as doing things together.
 
Totally agree with many of these sentiments, and Rog, who is 7 years younger than me, is retiring in December so that I get to enjoy some of retirement while fit and able-bodied. But the problem is that we‘ll not be as free as we need to be, with elderly parents not happy with us going away for as long as we’d like. Balancing duty with pleasure is still a major issue.
 
But if a morbid thread but a great reminder and one that makes one think….. am I actually getting the most out of life?
I had a few brain fades in 2008 and Kelly developed cancer in 2009. As a result we both agreed to stop planning our lives to the n’th degree and start living life to the max as a result, but at some point we fell back into the mundane toil that we said we wouldn’t without realising. We now have our moho because a best mate developed and died of cancer suddenly in 2017 and we realised that we had both been given a second chance and hadn’t used it for 8 or 9 years.
Now we try to get the most out of life, but as said at the outset, maybe I could must do more to be ticking off that bucket list quicker before I kick it (the bucket that is).

Jim said:
Stop putting stuff off. Do it now while you can. None of us knows what's around the corner.
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Except Christmas shopping - supermarket and petrol stations late on a Christmas Eve without Kelly realising the origin of said gifts and the subsequent real threat of divorce by Kelly is both frightening and energising in equal measure.
Puddleduck said:
So if you are in a relationship look after each other but make time for yourself. It's healthy to have different interests as well as doing things together.
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Most excellent advice this really is btw. We used to do everything together but now we have different hobbies that gives us headspace but also something different to catch up on if an evening.
 
The Wino said:
Only 66 it's nothing these days. The more I see about clebs dying at ages getting nearer me the more I think Jim is right. We're just finishing a big kitchen extension and the temptation is to not spend on anything else for a while but I think I'm going to crack on with planning a long pencilled in trip to Aus/ NZ
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Do it-we haven’t been to NZ yet but spent a month going round Australia-awesome place and we will return-funnily enough we had a new kitchen fitted while we were there…🤣

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We are (trying) to plan semi early retirement next year, we are lucky that we have spent the last 25 years, renovating a house and moving on to the next to be mortgage free and own a rental. Kids grown up and in very good jobs, so they don't need us ☹️😉

Its been hard at times and we literally started with nothing, with no help or inheritance etc just hard graft and proud to have got to where we are...

Lift is short, had a few friends die early, and family with dementia, so going to do it, this just gives us another push forward
 
When my dad died age 62 I decided that I would work to live, not live to work. Because we love life around motorhomers and motorhomes I set up an easy to run motorhome accessory business doing a few shows and on ebay. I set it up to run from home, so no wasted life sat in rush hour traffic and weekends off to travel. That was many years back and its suited us well, far better than stuck in a shop 10 hours a day. Because I have a philosophy of treating customers like I would like to be treated myself, business has built up. So here's the predicament, good business which I am holding back from expanding as I don't want to do any more work or take on staff. So I need to decide, do I slow it down or sell up and retire to all my hobbies and family life?
 
jezport said:
My Dad died before he got to draw his pension. Lately I've had a number of health issues so I'm now seriously considering selling my business and retiring. It will be hard for me to relax and switch my brain over to leisure mode!
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Best way IMO, is what I am doing - went part time and then worked from home - could you do the same? Slowly transfer the business over to someone else or hire someone?
 
Jim said:
On another thread this morning, I told you the sad news that Les had died. It was painful reading Les's Last post here.

Stop putting stuff off. Do it now while you can. None of us knows what's around the corner.
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Absolutely definitely Jim, never put things off
I’m a hectic do 100 things in a day get it done get it sorted type of person and Wham out of the blue diagnosed with MS, I have grown up in the funeral trade with it being my family business and yes you only live once,
We do not float off up to heaven and live a wonderful life up there!!!
make the most of it, never put things off or say you will do things when you are older/retired

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Sometimes one cannot control timescales in order to do what one wants.

Basia's Mother died a few weeks ago so we would be apparently free to travel for longer.

However, it transpires that under Polish Law we might have to wait 6 months before we can dispose of the flat and it could take that time to clear everything and get it ready for sale, with Christmas/New Year intervening.

Hopefully after that we may be free to enjoy more travelling. Basia is already expanding her ideas.
 
Rosemary1 said:
Best way IMO, is what I am doing - went part time and then worked from home - could you do the same? Slowly transfer the business over to someone else or hire someone?
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Started the business working from home, and it still is from home. The trouble is it's got bigger and bigger. If I get someone else in to help I will just end up doing more and expanding, so it's probably best to sell up. A new owner will be able to expand the business which is what it's ready for.
 
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It was so sad to read the last post from Les and even sadder to learn that he had passed away - condolences to his wife and family.

I concur fully Jim. My wife Irene lost a good friend to the big C and has two others battling the disease now - only one had reached 60. That's why at the ages of 53 and 54, we decided to tell the kids we were selling the house, buying a van and living in it full-time whilst we are relatively fit and able.

I appreciate not everyone can do this, or wish to take the plunge, but I can say 2 years on, we are enjoying life to the full and do not regret a thing!
 
jezport said:
When my dad died age 62 I decided that I would work to live, not live to work. Because we love life around motorhomers and motorhomes I set up an easy to run motorhome accessory business doing a few shows and on ebay. I set it up to run from home, so no wasted life sat in rush hour traffic and weekends off to travel. That was many years back and its suited us well, far better than stuck in a shop 10 hours a day. Because I have a philosophy of treating customers like I would like to be treated myself, business has built up. So here's the predicament, good business which I am holding back from expanding as I don't want to do any more work or take on staff. So I need to decide, do I slow it down or sell up and retire to all my hobbies and family life?
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Sell up. (y)
Lots of money can buy you lots of things, you can't buy life.

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A few years back, my business partner died in his 50's of a brain tumour, fortunately he was one of those people who lived for the day, and not work.

A few months ago, I collapsed with clots on my lungs, which nearly killed me.

I have been trying to retire for a few years and I am nearly there, we are booked on the tunnel next week for 4 weeks, I will do some work from the Van, but effectively from Christmas I will be practically retired and officially from April. I am now in wind down mode and must admit it is boring, at the moment I still feel guilty not working.

Roll on next week.....Make every day count.
 
Thats what made me decide to sell my house and quit the job that paid well but I hated.

I lost my dad aged 60 massive heart attack ...he had literally just retired.

2 years later my brothers wife found a lump in April, she died 2 days after Christmas that same year.

Life is too short and there's no guarantee you will see retirement never mind be fit enough to enjoy it.

So I'm doing it now. That's 5 years since I sold up and I've now done 24 countries
 
The Wino said:
Only 66 it's nothing these days. The more I see about clebs dying at ages getting nearer me the more I think Jim is right. We're just finishing a big kitchen extension and the temptation is to not spend on anything else for a while but I think I'm going to crack on with planning a long pencilled in trip to Aus/ NZ
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Do it now
 
Jane And Rog said:
Totally agree with many of these sentiments, and Rog, who is 7 years younger than me, is retiring in December so that I get to enjoy some of retirement while fit and able-bodied. But the problem is that we‘ll not be as free as we need to be, with elderly parents not happy with us going away for as long as we’d like. Balancing duty with pleasure is still a major issue.
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And remains so I'm afraid.

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