Pastures new..

[Anthea M]

ryan_flea your lovely wife has done the best thing for her mental health and I hope you can use your Motorhome tohave trips away and she can recover.

My daughter was in a similar situation as your wife ; teaching 11- 18 year olds psychology in a school in Hull. . After 7 years the ofsted requirements ; 33 A level pupils per class( many who have to stay on but don’t want to be there) the heads work requirements became untenable . She loved the pupils , had no discipline problems , but was working, planning and marking until midnight 7 days a weekend. Unbeknown to us she has since told us she felt at times she couldn’t go on. She was sad to leave her pupils but has now got a job she enjoys working with vulnerable 9-19 year olds for CAMHS in Rotherham.( less pay but 9-5ish and she told me “ mum I have my life back”)

Take care both and hugs for you

 

[Mikey RV]

Take care of each other, never let a job get in the way of your well being. We all need the money but we all need good health and a good mind. A good relationship and good health are priceless.

 

[jdk62]

We wish you both well for the future. Money comes and goes, but health and happiness are priceless and to be cherished.

Enjoy your travels.

 

[tonyidle]

Well its boiled down to the fact the missis has handed in her notice and will not be a teacher to the youth anymore (11-18) as she has suffered in various ways inclusive of her own battle. She is such a clever lass and has her PHD in Physics, and is amazing. Tried so very hard and influenced so many young minds. However, its hers that is fragile at the moment so want to concentrate on that. Maybe I dont have many outlets hence displaying it on a forum... apologies not motorhome related However, strength to one and all regardless. ?strength to all who maybe have had or are in turmoil. ?

It sounds like you're amazing and very understanding yourself. Take care of both of you.

 

[Viennese]

Commiserations and sympathy - it's such a terrible waste of great teachers. The poor ones do not suffer like the good responsible ones. Those are often not supported by management, have far too much to do, particularly the admin etc, and often have battles with parents. My partner's daughter was not supported by her head, suffered sexual harassment by teenage boys (she's very pretty) and was clearly not valued. Her husband, also a teacher, had a pack of lies told about him by a student, who had cleverly edited videos, and was suspended and the police called. Both talented people, they left teaching and have set up a very successful company, are happy and making lots of money. What a loss to teaching, and I know there are many stories like this. Enjoy your new life - there's a rumour we only get one shot at it!

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[ryan_flea]

My goodness me, what fantastic words from all of you. I am utterly overwhelmed by the kindness shown by each and everyone of you. As you can imagine it was a bit of a heavy evening for the good lady, allowing it to settle in her mind etc. It was such a pleasure to read the supportive messages displayed by one and all.

I have shown her each and every one of the messages, and she is just beside herself with the generosity, also the life stories of others who are in or have had similar. Makes you feel a great deal more 'normal' that others have shared experience.

I will continue to keep you all updated as to where she goes and what happens now, the van is great to get away and hide away and we will look to be doing that for a wee while in the near future.
Just like many stated, health and happiness are much more important. I shall strive to maintain both, for us both.

I cant thank you ALL enough and what a wonderful 'outlet' it proved to be thank you for helping, you wonderful Funsters. Kindest of regards, and a happy Friday to one and all.

 

[ryan_flea]

No apologies necessary, there's always someone to talk to on here.
Sorry to hear of your wife's difficulties at the moment but if her health is suffering as a result of her job, she has done the right thing for herself and for you.
Did she get any support from her employer ?
Best wishes to both of you.
New Year and new start soon so things will look better in January

She really did have help, however, sometimes you have to realise that its a bit too much, and enough is enough and it was not a reflection on the school (fortunately)

 

[ryan_flea]

Please dont apologise.
The mind is a fragile thing and needs looking after.
You take care of her and take things easy.
Theres always a funster available any time of day or night.
Your never alone ryan_flea

Knew the 'Stokies' would be there to help always been a nice bunch of people from there Oatcakes out for tomorrows breakfast. hehe

 

[ryan_flea]

the1andonly Thank you for the links and the kind words

 

[Paul and Kate]

Knew the 'Stokies' would be there to help always been a nice bunch of people from there Oatcakes out for tomorrows breakfast. hehe

Already had my 2 cheesy oatcakes mmmmmmm?

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[ryan_flea]

Commiserations and sympathy - it's such a terrible waste of great teachers. The poor ones do not suffer like the good responsible ones. Those are often not supported by management, have far too much to do, particularly the admin etc, and often have battles with parents. My partner's daughter was not supported by her head, suffered sexual harassment by teenage boys (she's very pretty) and was clearly not valued. Her husband, also a teacher, had a pack of lies told about him by a student, who had cleverly edited videos, and was suspended and the police called. Both talented people, they left teaching and have set up a very successful company, are happy and making lots of money. What a loss to teaching, and I know there are many stories like this. Enjoy your new life - there's a rumour we only get one shot at it!

Sorry to hear this, however, every cloud and all. It seems that too many are unable to continue, yet not really being addressed as to why. Such a shame.

 

[thebriars]

ryan_flea your lovely wife has done the best thing for her mental health and I hope you can use your Motorhome tohave trips away and she can recover.

My daughter was in a similar situation as your wife ; teaching 11- 18 year olds psychology in a school in Hull. . After 7 years the ofsted requirements ; 33 A level pupils per class( many who have to stay on but don’t want to be there) the heads work requirements became untenable . She loved the pupils , had no discipline problems , but was working, planning and marking until midnight 7 days a weekend. Unbeknown to us she has since told us she felt at times she couldn’t go on. She was sad to leave her pupils but has now got a job she enjoys working with vulnerable 9-19 year olds for CAMHS in Rotherham.( less pay but 9-5ish and she told me “ mum I have my life back”)

Take care both and hugs for you

I think you will find the Ofsted requirements were not the issue. Part of my job before I retired was to undertake some Ofsteds, so I do know what I am talking about.

The main problem with Ofsted was the school's (usually the head's, but it could also be LA folk, and Hull was a particularly awful LA - more personal experience!!!) perception of what they think Ofsted wanted. For instance, Ofsted has never actually needed written planning. Yes they wanted to see (emphasis on see) a well planned lesson, and to know that the whole curriculum is being taught.

The big problem goes back to poor leadership. Anyone with any sense knows that being a headteacher these days is an impossible job. Thus, generally, anyone with any sense would not put themselves forward for headship, so the quality of leadership has declined, and those that do take on the job are often lacking in knowledge and running scared so they endorse every daft initiative that lands on their desk, and believe me, there has been a plethora of them over the years, with just a few useful ones in between.

 

[thebriars]

Sorry to hear this, however, every cloud and all. It seems that too many are unable to continue, yet not really being addressed as to why. Such a shame.

Its been going on for over 20 years now. 10% leaving every year. I never saw any signs that anybody was really addressing the issue, and there were some very simple things that would have made a big difference. Instead, for years education has simply been an underfunded political football with schools and pupils in the middle. That political mindset says if things don't work then change everything, rather than addressing what is going wrong. The result of this is that the new change is also equally flawed, and round goes the wheel again.

Worth a read: https://www.theguardian.com/educati...ers-plan-to-leave-profession-within-two-years

 

[Chris51]

My wife took "early" retirement from nursing NHS as the constant rushing about/long hours (some unpaid) and responsibility/stress was getting her down she was 60 me 65.The immediate "relief" was noticed and although we aint rich are happier this way. A lot of people don't realise how stress is affecting them until they make a break .A rest from OP "s job should help to make the situation better---hope it works out for you.

 

[Steadycam]

Don't don't apologize. We have both suffered similarly and especially my OH we re arranged our work life priority balance last year and she /we were able to leave the stress that was slowly killing us. We are worse off but a million times better off. Don't be impatient it's taken her 14 months to get the background grinding stress levels down to annoying rather than fearful. We still suffer repercussions from the stress but we focus on Motorhome targets and activities and things are subsiding. Our view of the world is now slowly clearing and we are gaining a new perspective. So much so that the news ,politics, BRE....... does not seem to be things of importance anymore as we focus on our health our hobbies and our travels and try and live for our new goals not the old ones. So be calm be strong and if you can get up each day, tell yourselves , well that's one in the eye for the old life and one tiny step towards the new. Wishing well. And never apologize for bringing stuff up on here. Peace

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[Silver-Fox]

Don't don't apologize. We have both suffered similarly and especially my OH we re arranged our work life priority balance last year and she /we were able to leave the stress that was slowly killing us. We are worse off but a million times better off. Don't be impatient it's taken her 14 months to get the background grinding stress levels down to annoying rather than fearful. We still suffer repercussions from the stress but we focus on Motorhome targets and activities and things are subsiding. Our view of the world is now slowly clearing and we are gaining a new perspective. So much so that the news ,politics, BRE....... does not seem to be things of importance anymore as we focus on our health our hobbies and our travels and try and live for our new goals not the old ones. So be calm be strong and if you can get up each day, tell yourselves , well that's one in the eye for the old life and one tiny step towards the new. Wishing well. And never apologize for bringing stuff up on here. Peace

Excellent post, not the situation obviously.

Let’s not forget it’s society and expectations, mainly from others, that puts stress on us.

Figure this out and the light appears at the end of the tunnel ?

Let’s also remember it’s the strong that needs an eye keeping on them.

Those that know will understand what I’m saying ?

 

[Anthea M]

ryan_flea hoping your lovely wife is recovering and sending hugs.

 

[Podney]

Now that your lovely wife is away from the source of her stress she will start to recover. Good luck to you both buddy......onward and upward....!

I’m off to the gym soon,it’s one of the things that helps me both physically and mentally,gets the endorphins going apparently. Maybe it would help her,alongside other things.

 

[Stonemags76]

You might be skint for a bit, but health is more important than money! I took early retirement, and we have a lot less money, but I have peace of mind! Big hugs to you both! Everything will come out in the was, as my mum used to say!

 

[Stonemags76]

Supposed to say “wash” of course!

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[Bluemanc100]

Well its boiled down to the fact the missis has handed in her notice and will not be a teacher to the youth anymore (11-18) as she has suffered in various ways inclusive of her own battle. She is such a clever lass and has her PHD in Physics, and is amazing. Tried so very hard and influenced so many young minds. However, its hers that is fragile at the moment so want to concentrate on that. Maybe I dont have many outlets hence displaying it on a forum... apologies not motorhome related However, strength to one and all regardless. ?strength to all who maybe have had or are in turmoil. ?

You are not alone, I often talk about my wife's battle with Lymphoma on forums too... I need to unload sometimes and don't have the day to day contact with real people (I work from home) to share the burden...

I wouldn't be too concerned about doing this as people can simply choose whether they answer or not.. it's good to talk as Busby used to say and a problem shared is a genuinely sometimes a problem halved....

I'm also taking early retirement (at 56) in April, much to the surprise of work and my customer but needs must and we have to take our chances early to enjoy life before it's too late

 

[ShaKen]

ryan_flea - I think you have the right to be very proud of yourselves ??

I truly admire people who face a challenge and take positive action to fix things rather than continue with their head stuck in the sand (which I’m probably guilty of on more than one occasion).

The very best of luck in any new direction ahead. ??