filopastry
Free Member
@Jaws It is a shame to hear you have fallen foul of some of the unpleasant French folks, as you mention they exist in all countries and I suspect more than one French person has heard, misunderstood comments of "Froggies" in the UK, you are right two wrongs etc. Many of the problems are borne of misunderstandings and culture. If I may, I will tell a little story based on what I actually saw and experienced, it is a little long but hopefully will serve to show how easy misunderstandings can happen and stereotypes can deepen.
It was a Tuesday morning in a small local shop, we know the owner well, we am trying to find a widget. The door opens and in walks an English couple probably in their late 60's talking loudly between themselves, off they go looking around the shop having said nothing to anyone, the owner is livid. Why ? In the UK we walk into a small shop and peruse, say nothing to anyone and prefer to be left to our own devices unless we seek help, that's us, the Brits, no problem ..... but .... we are in France, here when one enters a shop, especially a small shop, even if one does not make eye contact with anyone, one says "hello" (in French). Daunting for many, I understand that, make things simple and say, not too loud, "Bonjour" ... that's all is needed, you will find all in the shop will reply to you "Bonjour" and you will feel good about yourself I promise, but they didn't and now we already have a problem. Mr & Mrs Brit are totally unaware they have committed an error of politeness continue their search around the shop ... whilst ... the owner is becoming more and more offended, in his (or her) eyes these individuals have entered his home/shop, for that is how they see it, and said nothing, "where are your manners?" with be running around his head and the longer Mr&Mrs continue to peruse the greater the offence. Now, they have found what they come in for pick it up and approach the counter, the owner thinks maybe now, maybe now they will conform to the norms of politeness and say "Bonjour" ..... nope ... They put the items on the counter and begin to talk amongst themselves and dig into their wallet/purse .... the owner is close to erupting. The couple remember they need something else, Mrs, because it is normally Mrs, smiles at the owner, takes in a deep breath and in her best pidgeon French asks for what they seek. Not brilliant French but a damned good attempt .... bravo ... the two are well chuffed with themselves...... BUT .... the owner now is apoplectic, these people do speak some French, they have chosen to come into my home/shop and have chosen to be rude ... well ... they can get knotted .... I will not help them or even tell them that I understand their version of French .. I will be just as rude as them. They never got what they seeked, the owner never got the sale, Mr & Mrs Brit are outraged at this small corner shop owners lack of manners and help ... the shop owner ... offended by the interaction, and not for the first time probably, would prefer never to see another Brit in his shop, even though many work extremely long hours for little recompense to try and keep their own little piece of France in order.
Enter a shop, bar etc simply say "Bonjour" to no-one in particular but loud enough for those near you to hear, they will reply "Bonjour" you have now conformed, no-one in the shop will be impressed, except for you, didn't we do well ... YES .. you did, you have learnt the first thing to know to enjoy your time in France. Try speaking French, most folks will really appreciate your attempts, no matter how bad, let go of that British reserve a little. Once served say "Merci" (thanks) and when you are leaving again to no-one in particular, say "au revoir" (good bye). These three words will open up a world you never knew existed.
Most offence is caused by misunderstanding and not dislike.
I wish you all a good day "Bon Journee"
Phil
It was a Tuesday morning in a small local shop, we know the owner well, we am trying to find a widget. The door opens and in walks an English couple probably in their late 60's talking loudly between themselves, off they go looking around the shop having said nothing to anyone, the owner is livid. Why ? In the UK we walk into a small shop and peruse, say nothing to anyone and prefer to be left to our own devices unless we seek help, that's us, the Brits, no problem ..... but .... we are in France, here when one enters a shop, especially a small shop, even if one does not make eye contact with anyone, one says "hello" (in French). Daunting for many, I understand that, make things simple and say, not too loud, "Bonjour" ... that's all is needed, you will find all in the shop will reply to you "Bonjour" and you will feel good about yourself I promise, but they didn't and now we already have a problem. Mr & Mrs Brit are totally unaware they have committed an error of politeness continue their search around the shop ... whilst ... the owner is becoming more and more offended, in his (or her) eyes these individuals have entered his home/shop, for that is how they see it, and said nothing, "where are your manners?" with be running around his head and the longer Mr&Mrs continue to peruse the greater the offence. Now, they have found what they come in for pick it up and approach the counter, the owner thinks maybe now, maybe now they will conform to the norms of politeness and say "Bonjour" ..... nope ... They put the items on the counter and begin to talk amongst themselves and dig into their wallet/purse .... the owner is close to erupting. The couple remember they need something else, Mrs, because it is normally Mrs, smiles at the owner, takes in a deep breath and in her best pidgeon French asks for what they seek. Not brilliant French but a damned good attempt .... bravo ... the two are well chuffed with themselves...... BUT .... the owner now is apoplectic, these people do speak some French, they have chosen to come into my home/shop and have chosen to be rude ... well ... they can get knotted .... I will not help them or even tell them that I understand their version of French .. I will be just as rude as them. They never got what they seeked, the owner never got the sale, Mr & Mrs Brit are outraged at this small corner shop owners lack of manners and help ... the shop owner ... offended by the interaction, and not for the first time probably, would prefer never to see another Brit in his shop, even though many work extremely long hours for little recompense to try and keep their own little piece of France in order.
Enter a shop, bar etc simply say "Bonjour" to no-one in particular but loud enough for those near you to hear, they will reply "Bonjour" you have now conformed, no-one in the shop will be impressed, except for you, didn't we do well ... YES .. you did, you have learnt the first thing to know to enjoy your time in France. Try speaking French, most folks will really appreciate your attempts, no matter how bad, let go of that British reserve a little. Once served say "Merci" (thanks) and when you are leaving again to no-one in particular, say "au revoir" (good bye). These three words will open up a world you never knew existed.
Most offence is caused by misunderstanding and not dislike.
I wish you all a good day "Bon Journee"
Phil
