Different cultures different attitudes

Peavy said:
This is sad. Maybe some cultural differences are there for sure but some people are idiots, regarding of birthplace. I have to admit, we were a bit surprised when we went to US for honeymoon and people said sorry when getting in "crash course" with you while walking in the street. Here nobody would say sorry even if you almost get in "soft" physical contact because of this, only if there's been a clear contact. I think we don't let go the word "sorry" lightly (wich is bad). Maybe others here could add more contrast. Sorry Just smiffy
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Don’t be sorry, it’s the same all over it’s the few that spoil it for the rest. It’s like motorhomes that leave rubbish behind we all get the blame….

Like I’ve said it’s only recently I’ve noticed it and haven’t really had the problem before… perhaps it’s just this area…🤔
 
On a slightly different tack, but has anyone else noticed this creeping habit when at traffic lights in a car etc, that when the lights change to move off, even if you are 2 or 3 cars from the front, some idiot pips their horn.
Also happening at junctions when trying to turn right and no gap is forthcoming immediately, so next car to advance to the junction, behind you, pips the horn.
Also had folks pipping horns for absolutely no apparent reason.
And all of this not just at me.
Seen vehicles in front of me being pipped by other vehicles in front of me.
Seems patience is a thing of the past, along with manners in some areas.
 
I was so sorry to read your post Just smiffy . I can honestly say that none of our Spanish friends would act in the way you described. They are all very nice people, or they wouldn't be our friends. They don't use please, thank you, sorry as frequently as Brits do, except when they speak to us because they think we expect to hear it. That's also been taken on board by their kids, now young adults.

On the other hand, some of the Spanish that live on our complex are of a different mentality altogether. Some of them have the "against guiries" mentality that Spanish of a certain political persuasion have. I think some of these would be rude to "foreigners", whatever their ability/disability. Thats the way of the world nowadays, I'm afraid, and we have to learn to live with it if we want to live here.
 
Just smiffy said:
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
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I dont think it's you. It mystifies me what motivates people to be just bloody-minded. Really can't see what pleasure it gives. I can only think that 0.1% of any population has problems that deeply bother them and they can't solve, and they just resent everyone. Like with moody teenagers or little kids that haven't slept enough. Don't know about differences between cultures; I notice quite a bit of it on British roads. We live in Portugal now and although there is a different perception of time and urgency here, I dont think people are more rude. More warm, if anything. (Actually, to be fair and balanced on the urgency front, Luiz our builder and Roni his Brazilian foreman get things done at a cracking pace that would shame any British builder I've employed).
 
I cannot seriously think of anything to add to this thread, it's all been said in my honest opinion....But be warned good people...walk in a cycle lane whilst I'm on my bike is a very silly thing to do...as the guy did this summer, allowing his walking staff to protrude into my way...I didn't bother looking back but I imagine he did more than one 360° spin...
Awareness is greatly missing in many humans...Wherever they are...

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This is the Spain I love, sitting in a local bar eating and drinking with the locals, away from the tourists up in the mountains, I’m lucky that Cintia can speak some Spanish….🍻

Your country does you proud in situations like this Peavy 😎🍻

image.webp
 
jumartoo said:
I was so sorry to read your post Just smiffy . I can honestly say that none of our Spanish friends would act in the way you described. They are all very nice people, or they wouldn't be our friends. They don't use please, thank you, sorry as frequently as Brits do, except when they speak to us because they think we expect to hear it. That's also been taken on board by their kids, now young adults.

On the other hand, some of the Spanish that live on our complex are of a different mentality altogether. Some of them have the "against guiries" mentality that Spanish of a certain political persuasion have. I think some of these would be rude to "foreigners", whatever their ability/disability. Thats the way of the world nowadays, I'm afraid, and we have to learn to live with it if we want to live here.
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Yes Judith I had a discussion with Cintia about the please and thank you some time ago as when she spoke to the Spanish I did notice and said don’t you or they say thanks and she then explained that it’s not done much….
 
I have had to ask people to move as they are blocking the access I need to get from wheelchair to car or for Martin to put the chair in the back of the car.

We once had someone tell us we shouldn't be using a blue badge space. Martin said that was fine as long as he was willing to help with the chair and the transfer. We did get a very shamefaced apology.
 
Just smiffy said:
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
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We spend every winter in Spain and have experienced all the rudeness that you have on every visit. However we have also had similar incidents in the UK. I think there are rude people everywhere.
 
Just smiffy
In answer to your post.

We live in South Wales and have always considered the people to be very polite, friendly and accommodating. However, we had a shock about 15 years ago due to two experiences.

At that time Mrs Maison had severe arthritic problems in both knees and had to use two walking sticks or a wheelchair. At the time we had a getaway property in France so always visited the France Show in London each year.

We were concerned about how we would get on in London with her difficulties . We found that we had no problem, with people on the tube offering her a seat, taxis helping her in and out and staff at our hotel being extra helpful.

The following week we visited a supermarket near us in South Wales. With the parking spaces being too narrow for her to get out of the car I had to park in the lane while she exited the car and I got the wheelchair out of the boot for her. A car pulled up behind us and sounded his horn. He then proceeded to hold the horn button down continuously. Being me I just looked at him and continued until my wife was in the wheelchair and out of the way.

I found that most disappointing but am grateful that after having both knees replaced she no longer has to use a wheelchair although she still has difficulties.

It has left me with a lasting memory of the potential lack of empathy for wheelchair users although I accept that our personal experience is not definitive.

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maison said:
Just smiffy
In answer to your post.

We live in South Wales and have always considered the people to be very polite, friendly and accommodating. However, we had a shock about 15 years ago due to two experiences.

At that time Mrs Maison had severe arthritic problems in both knees and had to use two walking sticks or a wheelchair. At the time we had a getaway property in France so always visited the France Show in London each year.

We were concerned about how we would get on in London with her difficulties . We found that we had no problem, with people on the tube offering her a seat, taxis helping her in and out and staff at our hotel being extra helpful.

The following week we visited a supermarket near us in South Wales. With the parking spaces being too narrow for her to get out of the car I had to park in the lane while she exited the car and I got the wheelchair out of the boot for her. A car pulled up behind us and sounded his horn. He then proceeded to hold the horn button done continuously. Being me I just looked at him and continued until my wife was in the wheelchair and out of the way.

I found that most disappointing but am grateful that after having both knees replaced she no longer has to use a wheelchair although she still has difficulties.

It has left me with a lasting memory of the potential lack of empathy for wheelchair users although I accept that our personal experience is not definitive.
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In my 47 years in a wheelchair I’ve seen it and experienced it all, in my younger days I had no problems squaring up to anyone who got bolshy with me… now it’s more my mouth that does the talking and believe me I’m not afraid to use it…😆

A lot of people would be very surprised if they had to truly spend a day in a wheelchair, from the smallest pebble on the path to a step in a doorway…..😎
 
Just smiffy said:
In my 47 years in a wheelchair I’ve seen it and experienced it all, in my younger days I had no problems squaring up to anyone who got bolshy with me… now it’s more my mouth that does the talking and believe me I’m not afraid to use it…😆

A lot of people would be very surprised if they had to truly spend a day in a wheelchair, from the smallest pebble on the path to a step in a doorway…..😎
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Yes. Everyone should experience it for themselves.

My wife was a Nurse and I always told her that I felt that the first week of training for a Nurse or Doctor should include them being cut open and stitched up again so that they had more appreciation of the difficulties that their patients were experiencing.😎

Perhaps surprisingly, she didn’t agree with me.😉
 
Northernraider said:
In those situations I'd have been sure to hold them up as long as possible
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Me too, or even go and ask for help to speed things up.

99% or more of people are really good but it's the ignorant 1% that boil the spleen. I suggest health care people, town planners and the like should have a full 24 hours of being wheelchair bound. It would be an eye opener.
 
Onemanandhisdog said:
It starts with no discipline in schools, it's exaggerated by no police walking the streets or driving around in cars. When they are driving around they are going somewhere and ignore all the criminal acts happening around them as the drive on by. The more people get away with the more they push the boundaries.
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IMHO

it starts before that, it starts in the home first surely 😉
 
Just smiffy said:
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
Click to expand...
I find it is very common in Spain. Very. It’s like there are some brain cells missing.

I was behind a guy the other day walking along a narrow footpath, just wide enough for two people to walk side-by-side or two people to pass each other.

There was a couple heading towards the guy in-front of me, walking hand in hand..

Instead of one of the couples stepping back behind or in-front of the other. They just headed towards the guy in-front of me.

No place wise to walk as there were shops one side and cars the other, the guy just walked towards the woman and shoulder barged her so hard she nearly spun around.

I just don’t get it. Move to one side.

But it’s common here in the UK

Walking to the terminal at Manchester airport to meet my daughter. Two rows of Pakistanis returning from a wedding, 6 abreast headed straight towards me chatting away I just don’t get it

Must be even more infuriating for someone in a wheelchair .
 
I think I'd like a tee that said
"Vicious when annoyed" or
"Mind your toes. Wheels cause fractures"

I have told people I am not a morning person. I don't like mornings before 11am and I don't like people unless they bring me chocolate and lunch.

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Just smiffy said:
am I missing something…?
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I was for the first part of the post as I didn't know you were a wheelchair user!

It made more sense re-reading it armed with that knowledge :)

I'll be totally honest and say that I'm completely amazed that this happens at all anywhere. I guess it shows my ignorance and assumptions - but I can't understand why anyone would behave that way.

As for jumar 's comment about pedestrians in cycle lanes, well I can be a bit like that with cyclists who use pavements and who expect me to get out of their way as they make a beeline for me at speed.... Being an not insubstantial height / width I simply stop on the pavement making myself as wide as possible and wait for them to choose between rediscovering the road, finding their brakes or....

Common courtesy and being understanding of other people's needs cost absolutely nothing.

We had a councillor who lived on the street for a while. Despite being a small road it was regularly gritted in the winter while he lived here and all the pavements were resurfaced when he had a few weeks in a wheelchair after an op.

Sadly this was just selfishness and abuse of position and it all stopped when he moved. Shame as the pavements could do with redoing again!
 
Al n Val said:
IMHO

it starts before that, it starts in the home first surely 😉
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My thoughts too.
when doing nurse training we had a day with a great guy in a wheelchair, took us through the difficulties and things we might not realise could be a problem. He did work for the local council, assessing disabled access/ramps. Had an argument with a builder about the gradiant of a ramp, was informed that it had been designed and was the required angle. When he was at the top he suggested that he should be brought a chair for the builder to see for himself. 1 redfaced builder with at least one fracture, when access was built it was suitable, our lecturer's response, it was an old chair in case that happened.
 
Puddleduck said:
Me too, or even go and ask for help to speed things up.

99% or more of people are really good but it's the ignorant 1% that boil the spleen. I suggest health care people, town planners and the like should have a full 24 hours of being wheelchair bound. It would be an eye opener.
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Plus a working week without a car or taxi! 😡
 
fishplug said:
I was for the first part of the post as I didn't know you were a wheelchair user!

It made more sense re-reading it armed with that knowledge :)

I'll be totally honest and say that I'm completely amazed that this happens at all anywhere. I guess it shows my ignorance and assumptions - but I can't understand why anyone would behave that way.

As for jumar 's comment about pedestrians in cycle lanes, well I can be a bit like that with cyclists who use pavements and who expect me to get out of their way as they make a beeline for me at speed.... Being an not insubstantial height / width I simply stop on the pavement making myself as wide as possible and wait for them to choose between rediscovering the road, finding their brakes or....

Common courtesy and being understanding of other people's needs cost absolutely nothing.

We had a councillor who lived on the street for a while. Despite being a small road it was regularly gritted in the winter while he lived here and all the pavements were resurfaced when he had a few weeks in a wheelchair after an op.

Sadly this was just selfishness and abuse of position and it all stopped when he moved. Shame as the pavements could do with redoing again!
Click to expand...
Not trying to turn this into Anti cyclists post but there are sensible cyclists and those that ride bikes with no consideration to others.
My experience was a guy who was concentrating on what he had in his hand, phone, book or whatever it was...what he wasn't aware of was his staff was protruding across the official cycleway, he was walking on the segregated pedestrian section...but his staff into the official cycleway....Awareness at fault here.
I'm also quite disappointed that some of the posts being aimed at certain nationalities, and those parts of Europe where Funsters are both Residents and Nationals of those countries..And finally remember that certain European countries are imposing restrictions on visitors from certain countries due to Their anti -social behaviour...
 
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Apologies if it came across anti-cyclist. I'm not in the least bit anti-cyclist.

I am, however, anti rudeness and arrogance and people who expect you to inconvenience yourself for them when it's not difficult to reach a compromise.

I can get a bit obstreperous when faced with people like that!

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