Different cultures different attitudes

May 31, 2015
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I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
 
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave th Taken to one sidee trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
Hi.
Observation from here. Failed Spanish o'level ( Just above zero.... ) but,silly me thought Portuguese/Spanish would be a close thing,so spoke out a couple of times in broken Spanish..... Taken to one side and told better to say nothing in Spanish,it could be held against you by certain people of good will. Could be a trait they have,that is against all foreigners.........
On the bright side,THIS gets a laugh............ EVERY body knows " No tengo dinero " especialy when its my turn to pay and i say... " see Esposa,she does dinero " Bigger laugh than ever if she isn't there.
Tea Bag
 
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?

Knowing you I’d say it’s your poor attitude and confrontational style 🤔😂

Seriously though I think people of a certain age and possibly size of bank ballance.
Some seem to have a certain mentality of entitlement theses days.

I see it over here as well, some just won’t slightly step aside to avoid contact.
Same in cars, instead of moving over a bit they will just sit in the middle of the road.

Respect is disappearing unfortunately.

I’d do the same as you just ram into them 👍😊

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We've been in Spain since Wednesday and have experienced a few already who are pig ignorant, today I was in Mercadona with my trolley less than a foot in front of me as I stood talking to my hubby in an aisle that was at least 10ft wide where I was roughly standing in the middle. I was just about to step forward and this prat walked right between me and my trolley, if I had moved half an inch he'd have slammed into me, it was pure ignorance. In the same store there was a kid with her parents getting in the way on skates, and the parents themselves happily blocked some of the shelves whilst they had a discussion about orange juice knowing full well we were waiting to get some. In the end hubby just reached over them as they made no attempt to get out of the way.

So, Garry, although we all know you're special for all the right reasons when it comes to experiencing ignorant Spanish prats you ain't! 😄
 
Is it possibly that some people are fed up with aggressive old people on mobility scooters who are perhaps taking advantage when many are not officially classified as disabled and legitimate disabled people are taking some backlash, quite improperly?
 
There will always be ignorant feckers Garry, in every walk of life
Some people are so wrapped up in themselves and their own little worlds that they lose sight of the important things in life like manners & respect, but rather than taking these situations as a negative, try to disarm these types of people by being positive, smile at them and let them run on at breakneck speeds in their own little worlds because you represent yourself not other people and as everyone on this forum knows you are one very decent guy and worth a lot more than the people that are disrespectful towards you and your circumstances, so try to adopt a positive mindset when this happens again, as I said you represent yourself not other people and we all know that represents a gentleman and a hell of a decent spud
❤️
 
I've found the attitude worse since COVID lockdown in the UK. Perhaps when many (?) disabled people were shielding the common courtesies of others were shelved.

I just got a rescheduled appointment through for an NHS service. The service had moved to the far side of the county and will be very difficult for me to access with at least 4 long bus journeys. Then I noticed the "private and very well appointed" consulting rooms are all on the first floor of an historic refurbished building. I have written to ask about wheelchair access. In the past some clinics can only be accessed via external steps and have no ramps but are "fully accessible internally".
 
Its quite a reflection on society.
Look at the littering.
Look at folk not picking up dog s*it.
Not sure what’s happening.

As a view, years ago my wife was in a wheel chair, her observation of life in a chair ( short term )
Was people looked over her, ignored her.
From that ive have tried to engage and go down to the level of the wheel chair occupied when talking.
Is that the right approach?

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I have no objection to anyone asking if they can provide assistance. Jays2

Being tall and wide even when in the chair I am difficult to overlook!! As long as people talk to me, not over me or ask my pusher to provide personal information I am happy. I always have my own paperwork for appointments .... also have been known to say it's my legs that don't work, my brain, ears, tongue and eyes are fine thank you.
 
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
I am not sure what is going on. When out and about in the uk recently I noticed people want to go out of their way to walk into your path. The amount of times I have stud my ground and shoulder barged ppl is unreal.
We have walked through our local park and the path is wide enough for 2 ppl and when me and the missus have been walking side by side and a couple have approached in the opposite direction. The wife has dropped in behind me to make room but the other ppl still seem to want to occupy all the pathway.
I dunno what it is other than very bad manners.
 
I wasn’t going to say anything about this but it happened again today and it’s too often now so I know it’s not me and my stubborn attitude….
This is not a post about knocking European's

I love being away in my van abroad it’s all what I do in my van, love meeting people and different cultures, history and architecture in all of Europe.
Now as you probably can imagine I get some looks and comments made to me on my travels but it’s the norm and doesn’t usually bother me especially from the kids and they are great and usually ask questions so it an ideal way to educate them that I’m a bit different but will happily talk with them and have a joke.

But recently I’m finding a trend with the Spanish people I haven’t noticed before or perhaps it didn’t bother me, over the last few weeks we have visited some fairly busy places and some people have just walked straight into me even though they have seen me coming.. now I’m very aware of my surroundings always scanning ahead for obstacles and land mines while looking in the eyes of people around me and pretty good at reading people…

I first noticed it a while back a group of elderly men were standing talking on the fairly wide pavement and one in particular had seen me coming and he deliberately walked out into my way, now I don’t know if they do it to see the reaction or for me to speak to them or whatever I just don’t get it but me being who I am I just put my head down and plough in to him, a brief sorry conversation with them mumbling away while I carry on…

Last week a well to do women around 35-40 coming towards me with 3 others on a narrow path, she knows I’m coming but she just kept on coming while the others stepped into the quiet road to pass me she stops abruptly in front of me throwing her arms in the air mumbling and eventually goes round me…
I’ve had this quite a few times now and as I just keep on pushing ahead people eventually get out of the way, it’s like a game of “chicken” but when it’s on a narrow path I can’t jump out of the way with usually a 8" kerb drop..

Now come to today, leaving Ronda we pop into Aldi and at the till I’m paying and waiting for the receipt and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️

Now I’ve had this sort of thing all my life but it’s rare and only once in a while occurrence but it’s happening a lot lately… is it the wheelchair ..? Have the Spanish a different attitude to wheelchair users like a disrespectful attitude..? Or are they the same with “normal “ people….🤔

Sorry it’s a long moan and I don’t like to, especially about European people who I mostly get on with very well with…. I don’t want this to be a European bashing thread and if it does I’ll get Jim to shut it down…

What’s your views, especially from those that live in Spain, am I missing something…?
Difficult to know categorically.

Very often when there are cultural differences they are not very stark. People who study this sort of thing (eg Trompenaars or Hofstede) will tell us that on any particular dimension there may be average differences between countries, but that the within-country differences are often bigger than the between-country differences. Sort of like this

1734811716472.webp

A lot of the differences that are described are somewhat abstract though - sensitive to authority, respectful of time - and so on, and don't really touch on this sort of very specific behaviour.

I am pretty sure that in some countries people are probably less respectful towards and accommodating of people with disabilities.

In Portugal, for instance, my sense is that people are often much more helpful and willing to go out of their way even than say in England. I notice it everywhere and certainly in almost every commercial interaction. (Just don't be too time-sensitive. Or necessarily expect everyone to be very highly skilled.) But I think against this backdrop there are still unexpected patterns. If you're older you get more respect. If you're a woman of a certain age they treat you almost with deference. If you're a foreigner some people think you're ripe for the picking! But I do think if you're disabled it's harder.

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I get a similar thing walking the dog, on wide pavements, he's hugging the house/wall side, taking in the smells, cocking his leg here and there and someone comes the other way that also wants to be on that side of the pavement, so despite us barely moving and him not even looking ahead it seems we are expected to "give way" we'll, we don't! On narrow pavements with a couple coming the other way they expect us to yield when it is far easier for two people to go one behind the other than me and a young dog who has no idea what I'm saying! This is a fairly recent thing too.

Its quite a reflection on society.
Look at the littering.
Look at folk not picking up dog s*it.
Not sure what’s happening.
It starts with no discipline in schools, it's exaggerated by no police walking the streets or driving around in cars. When they are driving around they are going somewhere and ignore all the criminal acts happening around them as the drive on by. The more people get away with the more they push the boundaries.
 
We've been in Spain since Wednesday and have experienced a few already who are pig ignorant, today I was in Mercadona with my trolley less than a foot in front of me as I stood talking to my hubby in an aisle that was at least 10ft wide where I was roughly standing in the middle. I was just about to step forward and this prat walked right between me and my trolley, if I had moved half an inch he'd have slammed into me, it was pure ignorance. In the same store there was a kid with her parents getting in the way on skates, and the parents themselves happily blocked some of the shelves whilst they had a discussion about orange juice knowing full well we were waiting to get some. In the end hubby just reached over them as they made no attempt to get out of the way.

So, Garry, although we all know you're special for all the right reasons when it comes to experiencing ignorant Spanish prats you ain't! 😄
I don't go to tesco for the same reasons
 
In England people tend to completely move out of the way for me like I’ve got the plaque and that is discerning sometimes, in general the people of Europe including Spain have normally been very good, they do come by close to me but they do move if I cannot and tend to like that better, I don’t expect people to pander to me and be overly helpful, I’m the first to be considerate and especially if children or pushchairs are involved in fact I tell mothers off that go in the road with their pushchair saying I can wait for them to pass…

It just seems to be this trip that I’m noticing it or perhaps it’s happens all the time but now it’s getting to me I’m not sure,
This only generally happens where I’ve got nowhere to go on the path to get out of the way… or could it be like Onemanandhisdog has said that I’m the one who is not giving way now…🤷🏼‍♂️
 
or could it be like @Onemanandhisdog has said that I’m the one who is not giving way now…🤷🏼‍♂️

Providing you’ve moved over a bit what else are you supposed to do 🤷‍♂️

Stand your ground so to speak, it’s easier to move over on two legs.

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In England people tend to completely move out of the way for me like I’ve got the plaque and that is discerning sometimes, in general the people of Europe including Spain have normally been very good, they do come by close to me but they do move if I cannot and tend to like that better, I don’t expect people to pander to me and be overly helpful, I’m the first to be considerate and especially if children or pushchairs are involved in fact I tell mothers off that go in the road with their pushchair saying I can wait for them to pass…

It just seems to be this trip that I’m noticing it or perhaps it’s happens all the time but now it’s getting to me I’m not sure,
This only generally happens where I’ve got nowhere to go on the path to get out of the way… or could it be like Onemanandhisdog has said that I’m the one who is not giving way now…🤷🏼‍♂️
My point was you get people on their own with 2/3 the pavement free that want to go between a completely oblivious dog and what he is trying to sniff on the wall on the other 1/3 of the pavement, or people that have to walk side by side on a pavement wide enough for three where they could easily slip in one behind the other, rather than me trying to get an excited young dog to walk in font or behind me. Common sense has gone out of the window, without a young dog in hand I adapt to what is coming the other way without a second thought.
 
Do people remember the radio programme "Does He take Sugar?" about the treatment of disabled people?
At times I use a small mobility scooter. I think some people see you but dont register because you are below their eyeline. Others are very accommodating, and I always make a point of thanking people who get out of the way etc.
Is it cultural? I dont know, but definitely not exclusively.
I think there is a mixture of reasons. People are very busy and centred in on themselves. There is a far greater attitude of "entitlement" among many people. There is a increasing amount of selfishness. Too many kids have not and are not taught "manners" by their parents. It all goes alongside people believing that rules do not apply to them. That "everyone" is cheating the system. You see this with the view about Blue Badge holders. Of course some will get a badge dishonestly, some will use a badge fraudulently. But I am pretty convinced the majority of badges are held by people who need them and are used according to the rules.
I think we are all doomed! May be I am just old and grumpy - It was never like this in my day!!
On a more positive note, about 15 years ago I had my hip replaced. Whilst still stuck at home the TV stopped working, so we needed a new one. We went to Comet (remember them?) and borrowed the store wheelchair for me to get around. The guy who served us was brilliant, he talked TO me, not down to me or over my head. Just a young guy as well.
Just my tuppence halfpenny worth!
 
You could just be turning into a grumpy old man :xdoh:

I do think that sometimes but I’m pretty happy at the moment, I’m beginning to think that it’s been me in the past have been too polite but that doesn’t explain why some people see me coming and deliberately do something to be in my way when I get to them…..🤔

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Do people remember the radio programme "Does He take Sugar?" about the treatment of disabled people?
At times I use a small mobility scooter. I think some people see you but dont register because you are below their eyeline. Others are very accommodating, and I always make a point of thanking people who get out of the way etc.
Is it cultural? I dont know, but definitely not exclusively.
I think there is a mixture of reasons. People are very busy and centred in on themselves. There is a far greater attitude of "entitlement" among many people. There is a increasing amount of selfishness. Too many kids have not and are not taught "manners" by their parents. It all goes alongside people believing that rules do not apply to them. That "everyone" is cheating the system. You see this with the view about Blue Badge holders. Of course some will get a badge dishonestly, some will use a badge fraudulently. But I am pretty convinced the majority of badges are held by people who need them and are used according to the rules.
I think we are all doomed! May be I am just old and grumpy - It was never like this in my day!!
On a more positive note, about 15 years ago I had my hip replaced. Whilst still stuck at home the TV stopped working, so we needed a new one. We went to Comet (remember them?) and borrowed the store wheelchair for me to get around. The guy who served us was brilliant, he talked TO me, not down to me or over my head. Just a young guy as well.
Just my tuppence halfpenny worth!

I get the “does he take sugar” all the time, I’ve been in a wheelchair for nearly 47 years so I’ve had it and seen it all..

I can hopefully say there have never been any chips on my shoulders but is there a little compost starting to settle on them I don’t know, I hope not… my glass is always half full and am always positive, these things never get me down usually because I don’t give a toss but recently I’ve noticed this trend occurring…. So I’m having I a little moan and hopefully I’ll feel better next year…😃
 
I’d forgotten…. Yesterday in Ronda this begger came up to us and started to ask Cintia for some money… I said No, you give me some money I’m worse then you, you look ok… give it to me… he walked off laughing and so was I… cheeky sod..😆😂
 
I do think that sometimes but I’m pretty happy at the moment, I’m beginning to think that it’s been me in the past have been too polite but that doesn’t explain why some people see me coming and deliberately do something to be in my way when I get to them…..🤔
It is of course also possible that some of the time you're invisible to them.

I've sometimes had this experience on a bike. The car stops, the driver looks at you coming down the road and ... pulls out in front of you. They're not programmed to see the bike.

There are social experiments that have been done (there are some videos too) where people see only what they are expecting to see.
 
and there is a woman in the queue behind me deliberately pushing her trolley into my chair quite hard and I mean several times to try and push me out of the way… now I just turned and gave the trolley a hefty push and she had to step back and I just sat there glaring at her with my hands up saying “Really “…🤷🏼‍♂️
I've had that here on & off . It only happens once .
Regards walking down the road ,no I think it is just pig ignorant people , here many expect to walk 4 abreast & **** you. Had the same in the Uk.I just keep going & either throw my hands up & ask 'where the ++++ am i going' or walk in to them.
Like you I walk like I drive looking in advance & adjusting what I do to what & who is coming but I'm not wandering out in the road just so oblivious people can wander along side by side or phoning /texting without regard for anyone else.

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