Anyone taken aged parent away in MH?

[Grianan]

In previous years our children have been able to look in on their 90 year old independent Granny when we’ve been away. But life has changed.
Kids now away - one working up north, the other at Uni.
Granny had a nasty fall a couple of months ago resulting in a gruesome head injury. The really worrying thing was that she didn’t tell us, so by the time we got her to hospital, 4 days later, it was too late to stitch it.
She’s getting a bit forgetful. Nothing too bad so far but she can text me the same question 3 times in a day.

Which all leads us up wondering how best to go away on holiday. She’s fiercely independent and resists any suggestion of anyone looking in to check on her (though she did let the district nurse dress/check her wound).

One option is to take her away with us … we’re only talking 2-3 weeks at the moment.

Has anyone done this? Did it work?

 

[Lenny HB]

I think only you can decide my wife's mum is 92 and I think she would get on well, when my mum was alive it would have been impossible with her at a much younger age. .

 

[Riverbankannie]

In a Campscout or other type of holiday. ? I could imagine a cruise or Warners type hotel would work, or if self-catering AirBnB. Not sure about a PVC, However, as Lenny says, so much depends on the relationship you all have and how she might be in unfamiliar places.

 

[Grianan]

In a Campscout or other type of holiday. ? I could imagine a cruise or Warners type hotel would work, or if self-catering AirBnB. Not sure about a PVC, However, as Lenny says, so much depends on the relationship you all have and how she might be in unfamiliar places.

Campscout … I’m not sure if I’d survive the others

 

[bobandjanie]

Not in a motorhome, but when my dad retired we four children took turns taking mum and dad on holiday, two sisters and the youngest brother stayed in the UK, but my parents had passports and always wanted to be adventurous, they had even had a ferry from Dover as foot passengers, we have lots of family in Kent, but they couldn't pluck up the courage and never left the ferry so like a mini cruise.

So we decided to rent a big farmhouse in Brittany and took them there, but unfortunately it put them out of their comfort zone, we did show them to the bedroom and told them what's what and I had shut the shutters.

Well after a long day Janie an I sat and relaxed having a drink, not setting the alarm well we're on holiday, and to our surprise we was first up at 9.30, our first thought was ......... hope they haven't died here in France.
So went upstairs and gave a shout, dad said what's up ........ I said just making sure your OK............. he jumped out of bed and came down and said don't you ever shut those shutters again I have never got up this late in my life.
They never came with us again, but I think they enjoyed the experience, but on edge the whole time.
Mums still around 89 and in a nice old peoples home, one sister lives close and visits a few times a week, and I know my other sister and brother visit because we get video footage, but when we see her once a year, we talk about the others visiting and she hasn't seen anyone since our last visit.

Only you can decide, it's quite a decision to make and not something we would want to take on. Bob.

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[Coastal Cruiser.]

Take Mum over the beach in the summer for days out, that’s about as long as i can suffer before I get a headache after repeating everything 10 times as she won’t wear her hearing aids

 

[Nanniemate]

Are you expecting her to empty the cassette . No privacy in vans my Gran would have enjoyed a day out but the thought of overnight not a chance. But she was a homebird

 

[Brains]

I'd not take a 90 year old away in a motorhome.

My Mum, who at 88 was physically as fit as a fiddle.
Before dementia got her, she was travelling to the Arctic, Antarctic, USA and Australia well into her 80's as well as train trips to Switzerland and Italy.

(Once dementia got her she was perfectly able of climbing out of bedroom windows, on multiple occasions before we fitted the locks and of walking well over 5 miles, across fields in the pitch dark)

We went with her on one of the Arctic cruises, small ships cabins etc, but I'd not have taken her for more than a night in a motorhome.

 

[Nanniemate]

I'd not take a 90 year old away in a motorhome.

My Mum, who at 88 was physically as fit as a fiddle.
Before dementia got her, she was travelling to the Arctic, Antarctic, USA and Australia well into her 80's as well as train trips to Switzerland and Italy.

(Once dementia got her she was perfectly able of climbing out of bedroom windows, on multiple occasions before we fitted the locks and of walking well over 5 miles, across fields in the pitch dark)

We went with her on one of the Arctic cruises, small ships cabins etc, but I'd not have taken her for more than a night in a motorhome.

Brought back memories of my gran escaping and going home to the house she lived in as a child. She would wonder in sit down and make herself comfortable. We'd get the the message to stop looking as she had turned up . Go to collect her and she be drinking tea and eating a sandwich .

 

[nicholsong]

I brought my MH to Poland to join Basia 11 years ago just before her Mother's 90th birthday.

At first we took her out for day trips then to a friends party and we all stayed o/night in the MH.

After that we started going for 4-5 days into Slowakia, with 3 days next to an open-air thermal spa which Mother really enjoyed, followed by a couple of days above a mountain meadow with a good chalet restaurant and where Basia would take her for a 1km walk.

This was all off-grid and Mother adapted well. We gave her the fixed bed over the garage and we moved to the drop-down over the cab. Not surprising she could adapt after Uncle Joe Stalin transported her to Siberia for 5 years, and she survived.

When she got to about 95 her mobility decreased, but she was still living in her own flat right up until she died 8 weeks ago aged 101, having had no serious illness and just did not wake up.

So some oldies can do it and really enjoy it, even off-grid.

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[Nanniemate]

I brought my MH to Poland to join Basia 11 years ago just before her Mother's 90th birthday.

At first we took her out for day trips then to a fiends party and we all stayed o/night in the MH.

After that we started going for 4-5 days into Slowakia, with 3 days next to an open-air thermal spa which Mother really enjoyed, followed by a couple of days above a mountain meadow with a good chalet restaurant and where Basia would take her for a 1km walk.

This was all off-grid and Mother adapted well. We gave her the fixed bed over the garage and we moved to the drop-down over the cab. Not surprising she could adapt after Uncle Joe Stalin transported her to Siberia for 5 years, and she survived.

When she got to about 95 her mobility decreased, but she was still living in her own flat right up until she died 8 weeks ago aged 101, having had no serious illness and just did not wake up.

So some oldies can do it and really enjoy it, even off-grid.

Sounds like a life well lived and a gentle departure .RIP

 

[Gina M]

Take Mum over the beach in the summer for days out, that’s about as long as i can suffer before I get a headache after repeating everything 10 times as she won’t wear her hearing aids

I have the same problem with my Stepdad, he won't wear his hearing aids, he is hard work sometimes.

 

[Grianan]

we did show them to the bedroom and told them what's what and I had shut the shutters.

Well after a long day Janie an I sat and relaxed having a drink, not setting the alarm well we're on holiday, and to our surprise we was first up at 9.30, our first thought was ......... hope they haven't died here in France.
So went upstairs and gave a shout, dad said what's up ........ I said just making sure your OK............. he jumped out of bed and came down and said don't you ever shut those shutters again I have never got up this late in my life.

We had a similar experience when we took my mum to our house in Torridon this summer. She’s always up 7ish but we had put up blackout curtains and she had forgotten her phone so had no alarm. We’d also had a late night binge watching Virgin River.
It got to 11am and we were a bit worried that the worst had happened. When we woke her up we told her it was like having an elderly teenager in the house!!

 

[Feltwell]

With elderly mother-in-law, my wife took her away for a week but she found a campsite with an attached farmhouse B&B - my wife & kids stayed in the van, mother-in-law in the B&B, I stayed at work

That worked well for all concerned

Personally I wouldn't take an aged relative away in an MH, but a week in a holiday cottage with the van being used as a day van when out & about could work well if funds allowed.

 

[Puddleduck]

My Mum would refuse to even consider the idea as she tells me (over and over) there is no toilet in a motorhome.

When we showed her ours she put her hands on her hips and said "I have told you several times motorhomes don't have toilets".

No way would we take her away in the MH and she refuses to even think about a cruise as she and Dad had one booked some years back and a "friend" of theirs told Mum that during the lifeboat drill they threw a passenger overboard and rescued them (or not) and if it was a tender port one had to use a rope ladder to get off and on the ship. Mum cancelled the cruise they had booked

I've told her it was a nasty wind up but she doesn't believe me. I even took video of getting into the tenders when we were in Monte Carlo but I am obviously wrong and her friend is correct.

Once and only once, several years ago we went away on holiday with my parents and it was not a good experience - obviously all my fault when Mum forgot to pack a guide book and Dad had left his driving license at home so couldn't hire a car.

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[cyberyacht]

My OH's late mother would stay at our house at times for five or six days at a time. That was back when I was still working, albeit part-time and in pre motorhome days. Those periodic visits were as much as I could cope with although we did venture out on a day trip around the harbour in the yacht with her once.

 

[busby]

I have the same problem with my Stepdad, he won't wear his hearing aids, he is hard work sometimes.

Pardon,,can't hear you,,BUSBY..

 

[Trevor Wbm]

Based on experience with my 87 yr old overweight and somewhat wobbly M.I.L, gawd bless 'er, if she can get in and out of the van, use the loo and take a shower successfully with no more help than you are prepared to give each time she does one of those things, then it's a go. If not, it isn't. (M.I.L travels in the van 'cause she loves the view from the front seat, but all other events occur in buildings).

 

[nicholsong]

My Mum would refuse to even consider the idea as she tells me (over and over) there is no toilet in a motorhome.

When we showed her ours she put her hands on her hips and said "I have told you several times motorhomes don't have toilets".

No way would we take her away in the MH and she refuses to even think about a cruise as she and Dad had one booked some years back and a "friend" of theirs told Mum that during the lifeboat drill they threw a passenger overboard and rescued them (or not) and if it was a tender port one had to use a rope ladder to get off and on the ship. Mum cancelled the cruise they had booked

I've told her it was a nasty wind up but she doesn't believe me. I even took video of getting into the tenders when we were in Monte Carlo but I am obviously wrong and her friend is correct.

Once and only once, several years ago we went away on holiday with my parents and it was not a good experience - obviously all my fault when Mum forgot to pack a guide book and Dad had left his driving license at home so couldn't hire a car.

Helen

Peed myself laughing at Mum believing the 'wind up', but also not believing the toilet in the MH.

I have just renewed my MHFun sub. It is worth it for stories like that alone.

Geoff

 

[Odd-no-more]

We have taken FIL away a few times, although he is too frail now, we rented a static but wouldn't have taken him in the van

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[125BEER]

Took the outlaws out last year haven't seen them since.....

 

[Ingwe]

I have the same problem with my Stepdad, he won't wear his hearing aids, he is hard work sometimes.

We had the same issue with my MiL. When we implored her to wear her expensive hearing aid, she said ”it doesn’t suit me” to which my long suffering better half and her sister used to cry out in exasperation “it’s for us, not you!”

 

[Grianan]

I brought my MH to Poland to join Basia 11 years ago just before her Mother's 90th birthday.

At first we took her out for day trips then to a friends party and we all stayed o/night in the MH.

After that we started going for 4-5 days into Slowakia, with 3 days next to an open-air thermal spa which Mother really enjoyed, followed by a couple of days above a mountain meadow with a good chalet restaurant and where Basia would take her for a 1km walk.

This was all off-grid and Mother adapted well. We gave her the fixed bed over the garage and we moved to the drop-down over the cab. Not surprising she could adapt after Uncle Joe Stalin transported her to Siberia for 5 years, and she survived.

When she got to about 95 her mobility decreased, but she was still living in her own flat right up until she died 8 weeks ago aged 101, having had no serious illness and just did not wake up.

So some oldies can do it and really enjoy it, even off-grid.

In the back of my mind I think I knew you’d travelled with Basia’s mum.

I think the answer is an overnight close by first …

 

[MR BLO]

Did a week in the aires of Brittany with parents at 70 and 72. Thank goodness the weather was lovely or they both might have come home in an urn. Love my parents to bits but sleeping, snoring, burping and farting in such close proximity plus the constant confusion of how to operate the toilet (one night I had to empty the cassette 3 times!!!) meant that it was the first and last time.
Good luck if you try - it could certainly make an interesting MHF blog.

 

[nicholsong]

In the back of my mind I think I knew you’d travelled with Basia’s mum.

I think the answer is an overnight close by first …

Yes I agree. In our case that is what we did to the party not too far away and if need she could have gone into friends' house for ablutions, but she did not.

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[martin2603]

Well, our 8.5 lmeter MH is only designed for 2 occupants, possibly with the occasional exception of grandkids when under 14. This Christmas my BIL who lives only a few hundred yards from the 96 year old MIL is unable to host the event as he is one of the 9hundred k people in the South East waiting for a major op. Thus I have volunteered to host her for Xmas. She is the most selfish, self centred bigoted , ungrateful person I have ever met. My wife’s opinion !!!
If we survive until Boxing Eve without laying hands on her it will truly be a miracle!
Seasons Greetings to all.

 

[The general]

Here’s my 90yr old mum , I got a step up for her to get into van ! Take her out , next trip is checking out people’s Christmas lights !!! Only day trips !

 

[Albacore]

Campscout … I’m not sure if I’d survive the others

My almost 81 year old mother comes with me in our newly acquired campscout. Her mobility is not the best, but she gets on OK around and about with the scooter in the 'garage'. The biggest challenge so far (we've only done weekends, going again tomorrow) is getting in and out of the van through the hab door... She finds it quite a height up to the step then and then in to the van for her. I wouldnt even entertain trying to get her in the cab door! It's just the 2 of us so room once inside is OK... Not sure if I could cope with 3 adults though. One positive that mum has highlighted is the loo is nice and high so easier to get off than in the one in our previous caravan. We haven't had a longer time away, I'm anticipating it will be OK, especially with nicer weather being able to spend time outside... I'm thinking that if we're on a site with the hab door mostly open I may take our 3 stage steps with 2 full length hand rails to enable her to get in and out without needing to lean on me for support. I would say test for a weekend and let her get used to it...anything is possible, it's just a case of getting used to it.

 

[Albacore]

Based on experience with my 87 yr old overweight and somewhat wobbly M.I.L, gawd bless 'er, if she can get in and out of the van, use the loo and take a shower successfully with no more help than you are prepared to give each time she does one of those things, then it's a go. If not, it isn't. (M.I.L travels in the van 'cause she loves the view from the front seat, but all other events occur in buildings).

My mother loves travelling in the van, just won't stop talking... She says it's because she can see more up high

 

[Bobandfay]

Wife likes to go away in the motorhome to get away from her mother

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