Top (tongue in cheek) Tips to reduce payload

[Speve]

Drive the car further forward on the trailer to increase load on towbar

 

[dunnah01]

wear lycra - cyclist think it's essential for weight reduction

 

[Minxy]

Leave your partner at home

or better still let his partner have a holiday in the MH on his/her own!

 

[TDub49]

Fill the tyres with helium (or better still, hydrogen, which you could use as a fuel).
Freeze your water because ice is obviously lighter than liquid water.
Wear airtex underwear.
Remove one wheel nut from each wheel.

 

[Speve]

Fill the tyres with helium (or better still, hydrogen, which you could use as a fuel).
Freeze your water because ice is obviously lighter than liquid water.
Wear airtex underwear.
Remove one wheel nut from each wheel.

Isn’t that increasing payload? OP =

Top (tongue in cheek) Tips to reduce payload​

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[glenn2926]

Isn’t that increasing payload? OP =

Top (tongue in cheek) Tips to reduce payload​

There’s still quite a few haven’t read the title correctly. .

 

[U.Toadifact]

Fill water tanks with boiling water as it is less dense than cold.
Shave your armpits, legs and nether regions.
If you are a fair weather traveller, cut off the roof panel.
Don't take matches, use a lighter as it is ...err lighter.

 

[newtonz]

subtract the weight of the wheels. They don't rest on the axles: they support the axles.

 

[gpat]

Make sure you have a good crap before setting off, and also get your hair cut.

That would be no good if you crap in your van toilet and/or put the hair clippings in the bin in the van

 

[gpat]

Towards the end of a long cycling ride and the hilly bit (The Fred Whitton) - A fellow cyclist and friend of mine once ate all his food that he was carrying in his saddle bag. To 'lose a bit of weight for the climb" he said

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[Dorset Diver]

Put the OH on a diet .

 

[bobnick]

I have to take mine, who's going to empty the cassette otherwise

 

[Minxy]

Isn’t that increasing payload? OP =

Top (tongue in cheek) Tips to reduce payload​

There’s still quite a few haven’t read the title correctly. .

I depends how you read it and whether you are thinking like a muppet or not!

Basing it on the OP's comments the idea is to ''reduce payload' of what he is adding to the MH, ie to lessen the payload of his chattels so he can get down and stay within the MAM (ie it is overweigh at present) or be able to take more of what he wants but stay within the MAM , thus the suggestions made would seem to help with that ... although some are very questionable to say the least!

However if you read it another way and think it means to reduce the available payload of the MH that doesn't make sense ... so IMV you would be a muppet if you thought that as no-one would want to actively reduce the actual available carrying capacity of the MH for the sake of it.

 

[DesandDek]

Don't watch J&M for good loading direction

 

[tonyidle]

I depends how you read it and whether you are thinking like a muppet or not!

Basing it on the OP's comments the idea is to ''reduce payload' of what he is adding to the MH, ie to lessen the payload of his chattels so he can get down and stay within the MAM (ie it is overweigh at present) or be able to take more of what he wants but stay within the MAM , thus the suggestions made would seem to help with that ... although some are very questionable to say the least!

However if you read it another way and think it means to reduce the available payload of the MH that doesn't make sense ... so IMV you would be a muppet if you thought that as no-one would want to actively reduce the actual available carrying capacity of the MH for the sake of it.

I believe the OP was looking for humorous suggestions so reading the title literally is about as humorous as it gets

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[Ingwe]

Drive with the windows open to get rid of any excess air.

And also to let the clutch out.

 

[SM0129]

Remove your rear coil springs. Your van will be tilting backwards whilst driving, but when you get to the site you wont need leveling ramps.Weight saved- springs and ramps

 

[Jamesh]

Towards the end of a long cycling ride and the hilly bit (The Fred Whitton) - A fellow cyclist and friend of mine once ate all his food that he was carrying in his saddle bag. To 'lose a bit of weight for the climb" he said

We will have to go out for a ride sometime!

Cheers James

 

[Jamesh]

Remove your rear coil springs. Your van will be tilting backwards whilst driving, but when you get to the site you wont need leveling ramps.Weight saved- springs and ramps

Better still remove the chassis.

The super strong timber and alu frame will hold the MH together just fine.... If your worried take a roll of gaffa tape to hold it together!!!

 

[Norman Jones]

Become a vegan !

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[Norman Jones]

Become a vegan !

 

[MisterB]

get your wife to throw away her tights and get her to wear stockings instead, preferably fishnets ......
get your husband to stop bringing his budgie smugglers on the basis that no one would want a smuggled budgie that small ...

 

[MikeManning]

 

[jonasw19]

Remove all gears from gearbox except top.
We all take too much gear, but we also want to keep the best.
Note for anybody considering deleting the step....
That IS a step too far.

 

[nicholsong]

Take the scooter out of the MH garage and make the wife ride it behind you - saves money on buying a trailer for it.

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[Minxy]

Take the scooter out of the MH garage and make the wife ride it behind you - saves money on buying a trailer for it.

Can tell you've never been married!

 

[bladerunner]

empty all the heavier than air gas from your tanks
go to naturist site so no need for clothes
remove all interior seats and use deck chairs instead - can be used inside and out
remove windscreen and rear window to allow free flow of air - much more aerodynamic

 

[KimSteve]

please feel free to add further suggestions ....


Always iron your clothes so there is no in-crease of weight ....
Only carry forks with three prongs, you should remove unnecessary prongs
Only carry right handed screwdrivers, if you need a left handed screwdriver then you could always use a right handed screwdriver anti clockwise
Wardrobes full of clothes increase the vehicles overall weight, so wear several layers of clothing while driving instead of storing them in the wardrobe
Only take grated cheese or cheese with holes in as they weigh less than 'solid' cheese, pound for pound ...
Weight decreases the higher you go, so always drive uphill where possible

coats, shoes, towels, makeup, food stuff, none of which can possibly be used while away.