As a bloke I consider myself clued up on the things that really matter in life, such as how to navigate using pure intuition, the ability to reverse and parallel park as if its seconds nature, understanding the offside rule, holding a rational, balanced discourse on the politics of the day and of course how to load a motorhome correctly.
I consider these things as primarily male attributes and like to think that my partner will busy herself in the MH doing other useful things such as making me lovely meals, washing up and generally being cuddly and caring. Then I generally wake up and realise that whilst my partner keeps up her end of the bargain, I am absolutely crap at mine.
Case in point. Lately I have been dropping hints that we might need to get the garage floor in our Burstner strengthened to ensure we are not over the recommended weight limit given by Burstner for the garage (150kg) or (rubbing hands in anticipation) have a fold up Scooter rack fitted to the rear. As we sometimes run with a 125cc Scooter and other 'stuff' packed in there we quite often topped out at 170kgs.
This apparently was news to my girlfriend (I may have decided to keep quite on that little detail to avoid her worrying
). Anyhow, it was also starting to trouble me somewhat hence the decision to look at strengthening the garage floor or a dedicated rack. At this point my partner, knowing me of old and my ability to make snap decisions and spend money like it's going out of fashion, starts questioning what we are carrying in the garage alongside the scooter to make us 20kg over the maximum.
Adopting a face and attitude that is used when addressing small children or other adults who clearly don't possess the same level of knowledge on a subject as you do, I started reeling off the other items; 3 camping tables, 2 deckchairs, 2 fold up camping chairs and two Westlake fishing chairs (recommended, very comfortable!).
At this point she stopped me and asked the devastingly devious question: 'Why?' Why are we carrying 3 camping tables and 6 chairs when it's just you and me?'
Have you ever been asked WHY after making a confident statement about anything? It may be the most probing response to any statement and should be lesson No.1 for any aspiring political journalist. I looked at her blankly for a few seconds whilst the old grey matter slowly absorbed this affront to my self assurance and established mental superiority and started babbling away in some demented fashion about how we needed 6 chairs to ensure we hade adequate seating variability for every likelihood known to man; eating at a table, sunbathing, relaxing with a beer, sitting semi upright, reclining completely, the need for different seat bottoms to sooth my aching a*se when I've sat on one particular seat for too long.....visitors!
The list of reasons was legion and all the while I'm reeling off what seems to me to be a very rational response to the unexpected needs that might pop up on a campsite she just sits there staring at me with a look that clearly says 'My boyfriend might just be insane'. Once I'd stopped talking and she had wiped the dribble from my mouth, she took my hand and said 'We're not spending £2.5k on a Scooter rack so we can carry an extra 20kg of crap (
).
We're going to ditch the deck chairs and the camping chairs and just carry the fishing chairs and we can lose 2 of the three tables.' She then proceeded to give me a rational, balanced, well reasoned explanation (probably learnt from me
) for why we didn't need all the extra gear, patted my hand and said 'Shall I make a cuppa' to cheer you up?'. Like a small child, I looked up at her, wiped my eyes and nodded sadly. I knew she woujd come round to my way of thinking in the end.
I consider these things as primarily male attributes and like to think that my partner will busy herself in the MH doing other useful things such as making me lovely meals, washing up and generally being cuddly and caring. Then I generally wake up and realise that whilst my partner keeps up her end of the bargain, I am absolutely crap at mine.
Case in point. Lately I have been dropping hints that we might need to get the garage floor in our Burstner strengthened to ensure we are not over the recommended weight limit given by Burstner for the garage (150kg) or (rubbing hands in anticipation) have a fold up Scooter rack fitted to the rear. As we sometimes run with a 125cc Scooter and other 'stuff' packed in there we quite often topped out at 170kgs.
This apparently was news to my girlfriend (I may have decided to keep quite on that little detail to avoid her worrying
). Anyhow, it was also starting to trouble me somewhat hence the decision to look at strengthening the garage floor or a dedicated rack. At this point my partner, knowing me of old and my ability to make snap decisions and spend money like it's going out of fashion, starts questioning what we are carrying in the garage alongside the scooter to make us 20kg over the maximum.Adopting a face and attitude that is used when addressing small children or other adults who clearly don't possess the same level of knowledge on a subject as you do, I started reeling off the other items; 3 camping tables, 2 deckchairs, 2 fold up camping chairs and two Westlake fishing chairs (recommended, very comfortable!).
At this point she stopped me and asked the devastingly devious question: 'Why?' Why are we carrying 3 camping tables and 6 chairs when it's just you and me?'
Have you ever been asked WHY after making a confident statement about anything? It may be the most probing response to any statement and should be lesson No.1 for any aspiring political journalist. I looked at her blankly for a few seconds whilst the old grey matter slowly absorbed this affront to my self assurance and established mental superiority and started babbling away in some demented fashion about how we needed 6 chairs to ensure we hade adequate seating variability for every likelihood known to man; eating at a table, sunbathing, relaxing with a beer, sitting semi upright, reclining completely, the need for different seat bottoms to sooth my aching a*se when I've sat on one particular seat for too long.....visitors!
The list of reasons was legion and all the while I'm reeling off what seems to me to be a very rational response to the unexpected needs that might pop up on a campsite she just sits there staring at me with a look that clearly says 'My boyfriend might just be insane'. Once I'd stopped talking and she had wiped the dribble from my mouth, she took my hand and said 'We're not spending £2.5k on a Scooter rack so we can carry an extra 20kg of crap (
).We're going to ditch the deck chairs and the camping chairs and just carry the fishing chairs and we can lose 2 of the three tables.' She then proceeded to give me a rational, balanced, well reasoned explanation (probably learnt from me
) for why we didn't need all the extra gear, patted my hand and said 'Shall I make a cuppa' to cheer you up?'. Like a small child, I looked up at her, wiped my eyes and nodded sadly. I knew she woujd come round to my way of thinking in the end.
)"who are you talking to...........?"
