I've just had the weekend from hell and I blame myself

roadster55

roadster55

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On and off for 20 years
Yesterday was the first nice day for some time here in Cornwall so I decided to take us (my little dog and I) for a treat day out as she can't walk very far these days. We drove up onto Dartmoor and it was beautiful and clear. As usual Kimberley was full of beans as she usually is on outings.

I made a massive error in deciding to use my toilet after opening the side door on my transit. It was a warm day and she was panting a bit. Whilst helpless on the loo Kimberley must have had some urge for freedom or maybe she just wanted to get out and explore, but she leaped out the side door like she was a 2 year old again.

I heard no noise, no yelp, no cry of pain, nothing. But when I rushed outside she was just lying there on her front. I picked her up but she just slid back down again as if paralysed. I phoned the emergency vet and drove her straight there which took about an hour.

She was given painkillers but the prognosis was not good. I took her home and she was unable to get up beyond just her front. She couldn't go to toilet, eat or drink herself. It was a heart-rending night. If I left the room to go elsewhere in the flat she cried because she follows me everywhere.

This morning the vets returned and took her away and she is now gone.

I blame myself totally for what happened and I have let both her and my late mum down.
 
What an awful thing to happen but she did what she wanted to do and if it hadn't happened there on beautiful Dartmoor it would have happened somewhere else and at a time when you weren't around. You can't blame yourself, just look back and remember the good life she had and the memories you'll keep forever. RIP little girl.
 
But what was I thinking opening that side door before lifting her out like I usually do? That decision is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. My late mum entrusted me with her care and I've let both down so badly.
 
So very sorry to hear this. Please try not to blame yourself, how could you have known what would happen?
You have some sad days ahead but remember the good times.

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Sorry to hear of poor Kimberley and you must feel very sad. But don't blame yourself you and your mum gave her a happy and wonderful life .
Her time had come and how wonderful to be up on Dartmoor for one last time.
Take care and give yourself time to grieve. :hugs:Sending hugs.
 
roadster55 said:
But what was I thinking opening that side door before lifting her out like I usually do? That decision is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. My late mum entrusted me with her care and I've let both down so badly.
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I've bet you've done this before and she was ok! It was just her time , try not to blame yourself.
 
The very last thing your mum would want is for you to be blame yourself for something which was an accident it sounds as if you gave Kimberly all the love and care you could, you can't wrap them in cotton wool, she was happy off doing what dogs do, so you left the door open and she went, she will be with your mum now, think of the good memories mourn Kimberley, but don't be so hard on yourself. Sending you sympathy and strength to reflect on the good times.
 
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You havn't let ANYBODY down. You gave a little dog love and care and it is not your fault that she did what little dogs do .. explore and look for fun. You cannot keep your eye on her 24/7 .. no matter how you try. You have probably done other things in the past where she may have hurt herself .. left her after a cuddle on the high couch? Nothing happened. Life is about living and just normality .. it sounds as though the little one's time may have been up and if she was so vulnerable it could easily have happened anyway in a simple way.

What a lovely way to go .. if I can choose then the sheer pleasure of leaping for freedom into the countryside doesn't sound too bad. Smile and remember she was one lucky little dog who was loved.

Post a photo to us, tell us about her, feel honoured that you did your best and that is all any of us can do.

Hugs.
 
Hi.
She was with you,in a place you both love,when her time was up. Not for her,the traumatic times of various treatments ,daily pain,long stays in Vets premises,as nice as they are. Time will heal the broken heart,memories of great jaunts out,comical instances will come to mind and you will smile,as long as you remember her,she will never die. We are carrying 5,long gone,with number six growler on the last furlong,memories that will last forever.So chin up,the bonus is,you will never be alone.
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Please accept our empathy & sympathy for your sad loss.

As others have stated. please don't blame yourself.

Best wishes. (y)
 
Sorry for your dog but I'm afraid I don't understand what happened, was it just the jump or heart attack or what:(
 
you did nothing wrong, things happen, grive, cry, shout if it helps but please dont blaim yourself it WAS NOT you fault
 
Sorry to hear off your loss. You can not blame yourself as much as you feel like you need to.
Best wishes
 
So sorry to hear this sad tale, every dog lovers worst nightmare, but definately an accident and not your fault. Don't blame yourself.
Give her a good send off and treasure memories

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Really really feel for you :cry: but as for blaming yourself, as others have said you just shouldn't. Every time you think a guilty thought, check yourself, and think of one of numerous lovely things you did for Your mum's little dog.
Xx
 
That is a sad story but dont blame yourself as already said,you were there and you did the best for her. It is a sad day when friends leave us.
 
What an awful end to a beautiful day.
Listen, you let no one down, you loved Kimberly and she had a fantastic life with you. She loved you and stuck to you like glue, she died doing something she wanted to do and that was jumping out of the van.
Please don't blame yourself, think of the time you had with her and all the love and happiness that you gave to each other.
As for your mum , she would never want you to blame yourself or beat your self up over this . ( that's what mums are like, they love you unconditionally )
Take care.
 
If you could turn back the clock you would no doubt have done things differently.....but inevitably it was her time to go. Beating yourself up over how it happened won't change things .....someone on here told me ,when I was having a low moment about my mum, that guilt was a wasted emotion and I do believe it has helped me to be move on and I hope you can too. Your little dog was loved and cared for right till the end and you were there to help in her last moments what more could your mum have asked of you !
 
So sad to hear this, but as everybody has said.....Dont blame yourself. RIP little girl.

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there are some things in life that I will never understand (like women) but what I do know about is dogs.

An old dog will know when their time has come and given the opportunity will slip quietly away to be on their own. It sounds to me that Kimberly took that decision and a leap of faith from the motorhome door to be at peace in beautiful surroundings

Blaming yourself is futile and selfish, after all it was Kinberly's choice. She is now happy with your mum, who would have been waiting to greet her back home. Please dont beat yourself up over what happened and how, but remember that you gave Kimberly a loving life where she wanted for nothing
 
You poor soul.

You're in shock right now and your emotions will be all over the place. Your beloved dog has unexpectedly died and it's quite natural at the beginning to want to blame someone, and right now you are blaming yourself.

The amount of times I've nipped to the loo and left the door open and the amount of times I've been stuck in there and heard some dog commotion going on outside with me powerless to do anything about it. I've been lucky, you have not.

What has happened is an accident, a mistake, and it is quite possible for you to forgive yourself for this. Try to imagine if this had happened to a dear friend of yours and imagine what you might say to them. Be as gentle with yourself as you might be with another dear to you.

When awful things happen we only ever have three choices. We can change the situation, we can leave the situation or we can accept the situation. In your case you can only choose the last option and it will come, in time. In the meantime, seriously, cut yourself some slack and think instead of the many happy, loving days you had with her.
 
Such a sad, sad accident. I really feel for you. Try not to blame yourself, you wouldn't have left the door open if you knew the consequences.
You just need to put the blame aside and try to remember the good times.
Hard, I know.....
 
How sad but as others have said you should no blame yourself for a moment this is one of those sad things where fate takes a hand, please please don't blame yourself have a little cry and try and move on.
 
I'm so sorry, you must have been terribly shocked.
Possibly it was a spinal injury? My daughter's dog, 8 at the time, running normally, jumped to catch a stick and collapsed on the ground.
As you, rush to vet and some time later we found out 2 of her discs had disintegrated. She was a stray, found at about 4-5 months old and the vet then said she'd had a very poor start in life. This contributed to her skeleton being weak.

Please don't blame yourself, it could have happened anywhere, at any time. You did everything you could and did not let your dog suffer .
You're in shock at the moment but in time i hope there'll be lots of happy memories to replace your sadness.

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That's very sad :( But you musn't beat yourself up, it was obviously time for her to go. I'm sure your Mum wouldn't want you to blame yourself, just remember all the good times you had. Thinking of you.
 
Please don't beat yourself up like this, your Mum would be very upset that you are taking this so badly, your little dog could not of hurt herself so badly by just jumping down from the van she has evidently had a stroke or something similar, my first little dog could be walking along beside us perfectly fit and all of a sudden he would lay down go stiff and fit, that happened a few times before the last time when he just lay down and went. It was just her time to go we cant keep them as long as we would like and are never ready for them to go, my eldest of the two is on 6 tablets a day for his heart murmur that has progressed from slight to severe in 6 months he is now 10 years old the Vet says he cant prolong his life but can make it more comfortable :crying1: Im dreading the day he goes but I will know that he knows we love him and have made his life as happy as we can. Remember your little one with love and think of how much love you gave her , Im a Mum of 4 and I would never blame my Son for an accident like you had , we all have regrets when some-one we love dies its a natural process of grieving. :hugs:
 
movan said:
You havn't let ANYBODY down. You gave a little dog love and care and it is not your fault that she did what little dogs do .. explore and look for fun. You cannot keep your eye on her 24/7 .. no matter how you try. You have probably done other things in the past where she may have hurt herself .. left her after a cuddle on the high couch? Nothing happened. Life is about living and just normality .. it sounds as though the little one's time may have been up and if she was so vulnerable it could easily have happened anyway in a simple way.

What a lovely way to go .. if I can choose then the sheer pleasure of leaping for freedom into the countryside doesn't sound too bad. Smile and remember she was one lucky little dog who was loved.

Post a photo to us, tell us about her, feel honoured that you did your best and that is all any of us can do.

Hugs.
Click to expand...

I was trying to think of something to say - but Movan put it perfectly.
 
So sorry to hear your heartbreaking story but please do not blame yourself, as others have said maybe it was just her time, you have given her a good life, the good times will remain with you forever.
Don
 
Don't blame yourself...you gave her a happy life...RIP Kimberley

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